As a Christkwanhanukeidstice gift, I will reveal to you all the most arcane and carefully guarded secrets of Mascara Applicationology, in case you missed it in the mascara thread. Secret 1 is: whatever mascara you think is best, that's the best one for you. With regard to color, if you are a dark-eyed brunette, royal blue mascara is best for you. If you have not tried it, you are in for some delightful amazement. If you are a fair-skinned blonde, with very pale lashes, get brown mascara. It may look brown in the tube, but it will look like black on your eyes. Everybody in the middle can stick with plain old black. So obtain some mascara, and put it in a safe place, so it will be there when you get back from Sally's. Secret 2 is: Go to Sally's, and buy a package of mascara brushes. If you are in a hurry, just ask the lady, and she will tell you where they are, or go get them for you. They come 10-12 in a pack for about $3. Unless you already have one, while you are out, obtain a 10X magnifying mirror. Secret 3: Return home and assemble all the ingredients: Your mascara of choice A clean mascara brush Kleenex or scrap of toilet paper 10X magnifying mirror pointy Q-tips Secret 4: Application finally begins. Open your mascara and pull out the brush like you always do, but this time, wipe the tip off with your Kleenex. Looking into your 10X magnifying mirror, touch the brush gently to your upper lashes, as close to the line where lash meets skin as you can get it, and wiggle the brush from side to side little bit. Do this to both the top and bottom of your upper lashes. IMMEDIATELY grab your clean mascara brush, put it at the base of your lashes, and brush out to the tips. This distributes the mascara evenly, and you will notice that any clumps will also be dispatched. Now once again pick up the mascara-laden brush that lives in your mascara, and without dipping it in again, touch the tip to your lower lashes, once again as close to the roots as you can get it. Starting at the inner corner of your eye, very gently and lightly sweep the point of the brush across the roots of your lower lashes, barely touching them, all the way to the outer corner, then IMMEDIATELY grab your clean mascara brush, and just like you did with your upper lashes, brush from root to tip to distribute the mascara and vanquish clumps. If there are any little specks or splatters anywhere other than your lashes, touch them with the point of a pointy Q tip as soon as they happen. Now look at your eyes in a regular mirror. You will appear to have suddenly developed naturally long, thick, black lashes. If it does not look like mascara in the 10X magnifying mirror, it is not going to look like mascara to anybody who looks at you, no matter how close they get or how hard they try to find evidence that you have applied any mascara, thus if you wish to tell people that you never use mascara, you may do so with confidence. (Unless anybody takes a rag and nonconsensually commits eye-wiping upon you, in which case you might consider a milieu upgrade).