...Every two years when my contract is up. To me, any more often than that is a ridiculous waste of money...
Phones are among that maverick category of items whose prices consistently go down. Thus, a phone with any camera/video capacity that a couple of years ago cost $300 is today the "free" upgrade phone.
So my dream of a full text keyboard is probably about a year and $20 (assuming that the "free upgrade fee" will rise to that from $18.50).
...My phone is scratched through the black enamel to the metal in a ton of places, and it got makeup stuff stuck in all its little seams...
You let your phone go out in public nude? Hmm. Well, that is very modern, I'm sure, but my phone is
always fully clothed, even when it is just enjoying a relaxing charge at home.
It has always wanted to be blinged, but it can't because its clothes are too tight. (They are not slutty, though. They are very tasteful tight clothes).
It has 4 outfits, one light blue, one brown, one black, and one pink. It is always whining and nagging at me to bling the black one, pointing out that it is a hand-me-down from Mr Puff's late phone, because it did not fit his upgrade**, and that it had gotten so used to only having 3 outfits that it just doesn't reach for the black one that often, and sometimes forgets it is there, but if it were blinged it would
always remember it was there, and it would not feel under-dressed on festive occasions. (It never felt under-dressed before it got that black outfit and started having these visions of how nice it would look with pearls).
I guess I probably will eventually break down and do it so that it will shut up, but I don't have the patience to glue on individual 2mm flatback rhinestones, I will have to come up with a quick and dirty but timelessly elegant blinging solution. I know it wants pearls, so I have told it that we will see.
Ever since somebody on here posted a pic of their phone's bed, complete with comforter and fuzzy slippers, my phone has also been wheedling for furniture. That's right. It does not want just a bed, it wants a canopy bed, with a bedside rug, preferably fluffy, if it can't have an Ishfahan, which it knows very well it can't, and an armoire for its clothes.
It does not feel that keeping its wardrobe in a plastic shoebox from the Dollar Store is dignified. It even called it "ghetto" once, but I let it know in no uncertain terms that I considered that kind of language to be inappropriate and offensive, so since then, it has been careful to say "undignified," and throw in these little digs about how if I really liked it I would get it some nice bedroom furniture. It is just trying to make me feel guilty. It knows very well that if I had really wanted to, I could have scraped up another $18.50 and upgraded it a couple of months ago.
...I also get kind of attached to my phones, like an old friend, you know?...
That is just plain weird.
**(Mr Puff's new phone only has one outfit, but it is basic black with silver accents and suitable for all occasions. Neither of us would dream of rocking naked phones. We are just not that kind of people, no offense to those who are).