How Honest Are You?

Echoes

O.G.
Aug 8, 2008
10,632
532
I scan many of the threads in The Wardrobe and some other sections where people post outfits or other images of themselves.

I rarely, if ever post though. I just can't use terms or phrases like 'beautiful', 'gorgeous', 'you look great', etc. if I don't really mean it. Posting my true opinions wouldn't fly for sure :lol:

If you post in those threads and make such comments or make those statements to people in real life, are they because that's how you really feel or because it's the socially acceptable thing to do?
 

natalie78

Did you die?
O.G.
May 6, 2008
4,990
12
It depends...here, I simply don't comment on outfits, bags, etc. if I don't like them.

In person, I try to keep it polite. Everyone has different styles and tastes in clothing. If I don't like something, I simply won't comment on it. If I am asked, I will say something like, "It looks good on you" or "It looks nice." I am sure I have worn items or entire outfits that make other people cringe. I will be honest if it is my mom (she won't get mad at me or get her feelings hurt), or if someone is being persistent on getting my opinion. Continually asking me for my honesty is going to bring it out whether it is nice or not.
 

schadenfreude

really
O.G.
Nov 13, 2007
3,553
99
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all!

That said, I'll sometimes give a heartfelt compliment even if the item or look only somewhat appeals to me. People like to be complimented, it's a fast and free way to lift up someone else's day. But I don't do this if I genuinely dislike it!
 

Kimber7

Kimber
Feb 8, 2013
161
1
I only give opinions I truly mean. If I don't like someones whatever I just don't comment on it. I do enjoy giving compliments in real life because you can see someones face light up! Plus it makes me more confident and approachable ^_^
 
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MissStepcut

Member
Apr 5, 2013
58
0
I only give opinions I truly mean. If I don't like someones whatever I just don't comment on it. I do enjoy giving compliments in real life because you can see someones face light up! Plus it makes me more confident and approachable ^_^

I totally agree with all of this. If it isn't a close friend, I wouldn't comment at all on something didn't like. What good would it do? I am sure anyone making a daring choice knows not everyone will like it.

If you always play it safe (in comedy or art or fashion or any other creative exercise) then you will be unremarkable. The funniest writers, the most amazing designers, the most stylish and daring dressers, will always have misses.
 

LoVeinLA

Member
May 14, 2012
5,190
84
I love seeing mod pictures of ladies with their handbags. I generally think that women (and men) who take their time to take photos with a gorgeous bag exude happiness and confidence in their photos. I love that and will generally say "you look great" or "bag looks gorgeous on you".

However, there are some photos where I was like WTH only because they are posing in dirty clothes, messy house, dirty mirrors, blurred images, etc....I just congratulate them on their bag.
 

Bitten

Chic, not cheap.
O.G.
Feb 6, 2007
5,899
431
I don't give compliments unless I genuinely mean it, but I would never say something that would hurt someone's feelings for no reason. Speaking your opinions for the sake of having an opinion is overrated.

I agree - plenty is said in the world that contributes nothing, that causes a great deal of harm, that simply need never have been said, but still people say it anyway, careless of the harm caused and often disingenuously attempt to disclaim any responsibility by proffering the defence of 'I'm entitled to an opinion" - puh-lease :rolleyes:

It's an interesting question. For myself, I am (or certainly endeavour to be) honest AND kind. I'm honest about stuff where honesty matters. Did you or did you not order the code red? I'm going to be laying the honest truth bare in all its ugly glory for that one! :biggrin:

Someone's outfit on a forum? Is there really a right or wrong, true or not true answer? Is there a genuine moral aspect to the matter?

I wouldn't ever tell someone I thought they looked awful. If I thought it was my place i.e. they were a family member or really close friend and I felt they wanted to know something more than merely engage in social niceties, I would say something like "I don't think it's the best colour on you, you have outfits that I prefer, etc". Otherwise I'm quite happy to participate in the social niceties of civilised discourse - I appreciate a smile and a friendly word and I'm more than happy to share the same with others.

There are a multitude of virtues and I don't prioritise honesty over kindness per se, black and white, no excuses. I try to balance both :P
 
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