how do you reward your child/ren??

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  1. since there is a topic on how you discipline your child/ren, how do you reward them? if they act appropriately do they get a special treat? do they get an allowance for doing chores or making good grades? if you have smaller children how do you show them that you are grateful for the little things they do? maybe it's just picking up their toys or listening the first time you say something.
     
  2. This is a great question ! I find that verbal praise and xtra affection goes a long way. If my son does something extra great or shows great restraint under circumstances then I explain to him very carefully what he did and why I am very proud of him. He also gets to play video games when he does something great and gets that privelege taken away if he doesn't do something great. Sometimes I give him dollars for doing chores and tell him that he can buy something with them. They usually get left around the house so I just take them back. He doesn't really understand the value of money yet but we are teaching him, he just turned 4. My 2 yo gets a lot of postitve praise for being kind and gentle. We work with her and her dollies in being gentle and caring. Lots of verbal praise seems to work with her.
     
  3. yes lots of verbal praise when she is cooperating and listening seems to work wonders with her! When she is consistently listening and cleaning up I usually reward her with a trip to the toy store where she can get one new thing. Usually she wants an outift or some accessory for her baby dolls.
     
  4. Praise goes a loooooong way. Not just "You did good" praise, but praise well meant. Also kids do well when you praise them to another adult. I've found that parents will report bad behavior of the child to the other parent, but not be as good in reporting good behavior when it happens. Even something like "X went shopping with me and helped with groceries. He was a great helper", said to his dad makes him REALLY happy.

    I sometimes buy things, but not very often. Academic achievement gets praise and rewards, for example if he gets a good report card (which is issued every quarter) I'll buy him a gift. Nothing very expensive.
     
  5. You should see how my kids' chests puff out when I tell them, "I am SO proud of you!!" and give them a huge hug and kiss. They are on cloud 9! And sometimes, as a special treat, I'll give them a small goody after dinner if they've been behaving especially well, i.e. one marshmallow, or one Twizzler, or a piece of gum. I am VERY careful not to do this every single time they're having a good day because: A) they'll start to expect it and take it for granted, and B) it's not all that healthy. :rolleyes:

    Other times, I'll reward them with an extra-long trip to the park or a playdate with a friend. But most of the time, I just give verbal praise and lots of cuddles! :smile:
     
  6. From memory, this is how my parents rewarded me and my little sister and I think it worked well for us.

    When we were younger, we got a small allowance or new toy if we helped out around the house without being asked - for example, if we helped clear off the table, cleaned up our room, put away our toys - it would be a surprise when at the end of the week my mom would say, "Because you did X, X, and X this week, here is $1.00 for your piggybank." Then we'd put it in there together and I would get all excited about "saving up for something good." Once the piggybank was full we'd take it to the bank and I would go shopping with my mom.

    My Dad would always tell me how proud he was of me and my sister, especially after sporting events (I did gymnastics, sister did softball). He would tell the neighbors and stuff if I won a competition and they would congratulate me too.

    For grades, at first my parents rewarded A's on a quarterly report card with $5 for each A. However, because my sister and I got straight A's, this stopped after a while because we'd each get like $30 at the end of each quarter.

    Conversely, the worst punishment EVER was being told we disappointed our parents. Nothing feels worse.
     
  7. #7 Jan 15, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2009
    we both praise our sons as well. we tell they how very proud of them we are, we give them hugs and cuddles... we try to reinforce the positive. we decided [today] that we are putting the oldest on a reward system. he has been bringing home notes lately [not good ones] from school about him talking too much and needing reminders. so i made up a chart for him. if he gets no notes for a week he gets 1 hour of "fun time", 1 note = 45 mins, 2 notes =30 minutes...and so on until there is no "fun time" left. and he will get to choose his fun time...it could be play station, or a computer game, or nintendo, or to go to the park. his fun time will occur on the sat after the school week.

    and then we will have him doing chores at home for an allowance. he has to make his bed, put his dirty clothes in the hamper, put away his shoes, pick up toys, clean his bathroom [pick up the clothes straighten it up] and help clear the table and do dishes. and if he does those he will receive $5 every 2 weeks. and we also ask that he saves $1 out of his "pay days". and we will also make him pay us a quarter if he fails to do them or has to be reminded numerous times. both of his charts will be posted on his bedroom door. he will be 7 in april, do you think that we are asking to much out of him? or not enough? or juts about right?

    ** we also were thinking about letting him trade in his "fun time" for money. if he has no notes all week that = $1, 1 note = 50 cents, 2 notes = 25 cents. and after that there is no trading it in.
     
  8. that's what i've been doing with my oldest for about a year now. i put $5 in her piggy band every Sunday IF she keeps her room clean and makes her bed every morning and puts her laundry in the hamper. She also makes her sister's bed and puts her clothes into the hamper for me. if i have to clean her room then she has to pay me $1 for everytime i clean it. and i have not had to clean her room for a while. only twice, but that was deep cleaning, and getting rid of out grown clothes and toys.

    my younger daughter gets lots of praise, love and kisses when she does good and she eats up up!
     
  9. Oh I have to correct why I wrote, I take them back but keep track of what he has earned so he gets to buy something and I usually end up kicking in a few extra dollars. I just don't leave the money lying around because of the baby ! I didn't want to sound mean or anything lol !
     
  10. i figured that was what you meant...lol. my youngest does the same thing...he is going on 4. he doesn't understand what it means when he gets a dollar, he just wants one and then he plays with it and then he gets bored and leaves it laying somewhere...so we try to keep a mental track of it.
     
  11. Verbal praise and special activities (going bowling, ice skating, to the zoo/aquarium)
     
  12. We use praise and cuddles for the young one and we've gone through various rewards for the oldest. We don't believe in food rewards because we don't want him to see food as a reward and we don't award money for things we feel he should be doing to be part of a family either.

    When he was having difficult around 5-7 with picking up and brushing teeth, etc., we had a star chart and after he accumulated so many, he could go to a movie at a movie theater. Later, we switched it to a book at the bookstore. Now that he's 12 we just expect him to do certain things as being part of the family and he doesn't get rewards on any rate, but he knows that if he's been doing well in school, helping at home, we're more likely to let him get a book when he wants to or do other special things. He knows that if he's NOT been contributing we'll say, "I think you need to get your grades up before you ask for a new Wii game or a book." and he understands that.

    It took us a long time for him to stop pushing for an allowance, but now he realizes that he actually gets more on this "if I help out routine" than if it were a set allowance. He also has some money of his own that he's gotten from grandma or for helping our neighbor, but he saves it and actually is really good with money. At age 4 he REALLLLLLY wanted a big stuffed leopard from FAO Shwartz. It was $100. We told him if he raised 1/2, we would pay the other half. Well, we went to visit the leopard often and he kept saving (we would give him our spare change and when I was working at the dorms in univ. we would give him the change we found laying around.) Anyway, it took him a year but he saved $50 and bought his leopard - which he still has at age 12.
     
  13. I have 2 boys - 7 1/2 and 5, and a 1 year-old girl, and in general when they (particularly the older ones) do anything that makes us proud (tidy up, finish homework on time, etc) then they get praise, hugs and kisses. While they get hugs and kisses most of the time, I find that they really enjoy the praise.
    My younger son is pretty easy - he is responsible and does most everything he is asked, so we rarely need to motivate him. The older one meanwhile needs constant prodding to start cleaning up or doing homework. I had some trouble getting him to finish anything that required writing more than a full sentence so we made an agreement that every week he finished all his writing tasks he would get to choose a small toy ($3-5 worth). I would buy the toy at the beginning of the week, keep it in my closet where he could look at it but not touch, and if he kept his side of the bargain he would be rewarded with the toy at the end of the week. This really worked for him.

    Other rewards that work well for my kids are going out for a treat, or visiting the toy store (even when they don't buy anything) or bookstore. I find the reward works best when we ask them what they would like to do/where they would like to go and then promise to do just that with them if they behave/do their part as well.