how do you react to rude comments towards your family?

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  1. so im curious as to what you do when someone says something about your family that is just so wrong...for instance i was at a store with all 3 kiddos, dh was in the dressing room trying on some jeans and i was browsing and a woman comes squeezing by in a super tight space where i have the stroller and the boys and instead of going around [which she easily could have] she continues to push her basket through, it barely fits and she hits my stroller and then she states "looks like you need a few more kids." and she has that fake smile on her face and she keeps on walking....oh i was fuming!

    and then today i posted on my fb account about how i was happy that we got our tax return and i had someone say - "Its only that nice because of the ARMY you are raising over there. It is not fair the amount that people with kids get back"...wth!?! i mean i find that to be very rude and very offensive! i didn't say anything though i wanted to so desparetly, but the person that said it is a family member that can be quite a b*tch...should i have stuck up for my "army" or should i just brush it off?
     
  2. I'm a witch, so I usually respond by being a smartass.

    If someone had of said "looks like you need a few more kids", I would have said, "it looks like you should step away from the all-you-can-eat buffets". But that's just me ;)

    My DH swears that he carries handguns because I'm going to get us shot at someday LOL
     
  3. oh i wanted to smart off so bad! but i had the kids there, so i tried to keep my composure. but i the comment today REALLY got to me. the person that said it is from a family of 6 children and 3 step-children... so a total of 9 and she says that about my 3 children??

    though i think the comment may stem from jealousy because she wants children and is having some severe difficulties and it looks very bleak for them. but seriously she has to rain on my parade because she is that unhappy?? i want to lay into her and tell her where she can stick her rudeness, but i guess keeping the peace in the family is more important. i just hate having to walk around on eggshells, we can't upset the princess can we?? :cursing::mad::censor::rant:
     
  4. I'm with you. I'm the smart ass in our relationship.

    My response to the same comment would be something like..."and it looks like you need better manners commenting on stranger's business" or something along those lines. :P
     
  5. Thats a good one. I dont mind calling people out for their rudeness. I dont put up with it.
     
  6. For the lady in the store, I would have said an innocent "pardon me?" and looked her straight in the eye. If she seriously wanted to start something and didn't apologize, I would just glare at her and walk away. It's no use starting a petty argument with someone you don't know or care about, but I find that if people are gently challenged to back up what they said, that can shake them out of their rudeness. Sometimes:smile:

    For your relative, you could post a comment along the lines of "Gosh, that is one of the perks of having children, but too bad I have to spend it all on diapers, schoolbooks, and clothes they grow out of every month!:smile:" And end it with a smiley face of course:smile:
     
  7. #7 Feb 4, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2010
    I don't know why people choose to make things their business, but some people do have strong opinions in regards to what they think is appropriate reproduction. I have found that kind of attitude even with my 2 kids! I think that sometimes the ages of the children and the spacing between them has a lot to do with people's perceptions and attitudes. My kids are only 15 1/2 months apart, so at times, my family can look like a complete circus. Sometimes people see a family with lots of young kids and just assume that you're somehow being irresponsible. I just ignore, ignore, ignore....
     
  8. #8 Feb 4, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2010
    OMG, vhdos, word-for-word I'm sooo with you! Several years ago at a family gathering, I announced my 2nd pregnancy (my first child was 14 months at the time)....and my husband's cousin's mouth dropped open and she literally YELLED at me, "What. On. Earth. Possessed you to have another baby so soon after the first one? Good GOD!!!!" Ummm, how about keeping your meanness to yourself, faking a smile and saying Congrats, you dumb b!tch??? I was so shocked that I was speechless and couldn't even come up with the words to respond. 6 years later and I'm STILL bitter about that! (still loathe that cousin)

    Another time, me and my family of 4 (two kids less than 2 years apart) were walking around a crowded downtown area, one kid in a stroller, the other in a Baby Bjorn, and since it was a crowded sidewalk, everyone there had to dodge around others in order to get by. As we were walking along, minding our own business, some smart-ass female punk said "For f*&@'s sake, have a few more kids why don't you?!?" I was like, WTF! I have two kids...it's not like I have 8! Again, this person's comment took me completely off guard and she was gone before I had a chance to process and have a good comeback.

    I think in general, people can get inexplicably irritated when they see a family with 2 or more *young* children in tow. That's when the rolling eyes and snide comments about being reproducing cows come out. I admit, I might get annoyed if I see someone else's kids being loud/unruly/rude/misbehaving....BUT, to receive rude and aggressive comments when my kids are quietly behaving themselves and just minding their own business? Unacceptable. People depress me sometimes. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there who hate children, and who also hate the people who produce children. I say, everyone is entitled to their opinions, but is there really a need to proactively make such offensive comments when you and your kids have done nothing wrong?
     
  9. like i posted above...the comment today just really got to me...she is family. she is talking about her nephews and niece. and she wants a baby so bad that it's not funny. i feel like a hypocrite because i didn't say anything...why is it ok for her to talk about my 3 children like they are a "herd" [taken from another post on here]?

    i talked to my dh about it, and he is going to question her tone...as it was typed it's hard to know how she meant it, but still it got my blood boiling.
     
  10. ^^^ I'm glad your DH is going to ask her about it. Definitely *not* a nice fb post!!!
     
  11. Wow. I have no idea what gets into people sometimes. Ridiculous. I'm glad your husband is going to address the FB comment. Let us know what happens.
     
  12. dh responded with something pretty much like that...i just stated that i love my army...and sorry i didn't respond sooner, i somehow skipped over your response.
     
  13. well he got a response from her - "It was playful...I was saying that you guys seemed excited with the tax return and I could only imagine that it was because you were going to get back a nice return... etc. etc..."

    i hope that it's the truth...to me the post wasn't very friendly or worded to be so...but i will take her word for it. smooths the ruffles out some though that is for sure. and am i the only one that thought the original comment was a bit rude?? maybe i am just too sensitive
     
  14. How rude! Hey, there is a reason that people with children get great deductions at tax time, it's cuz kiddos are expensive!

    Ugh, just ignore them all!
     
  15. Well, as we've all experienced on here, it's hard to hear the tone of someone's voice on the internet! Hopefully it was an innocent comment and she realized how it sounded and is now trying to make amends. Otherwise, steer clear of that one!:smile: