How do you overcome negative opinion on buying the bag

[sunholic]

Hi,

I always have this argument with my partner over Chanel or Dior bag whenever I decided to buy one.
(For my support I only have one Chanel bag)
Now I'm planning on buying Lady Dior and my partner isn't happy about it.
I have my full time job and I saved up money but being in an relation isn't all about I saved up therefor it's mine.
I understand why my partner is so negative about buying such an expensive bag, but I really want one and I worked so hard to save up decent amount so I can afford and continue live the way I am.

Problem is, now we are planning on going 2 month Europe tour which will cost so much money and buying "the" bag is an issue. - his point of vie

I think since I'm going to Europe and it's cheaper there, plus I don't go every year or something, I should seize this opportunity and buy one.

I really want to know how you guys overcome this issue if you ever have one..
Please share your story for me.

Thank you,

 

[shoesshoeshoes]

I love the lady dior bag! If you've got chance to get it in europe with tax refunded, definitely go for it, because the price goes up every year.
Regarding your partner, he'll just have to come to term with it. I find the more you try to talk about it/convince him, the more strongly he will think negatively about it (it's a bit of reverse psychology). Just say, it's my money, I've worked hard. I didn't steal it from anyone. This is what I'm going to do.
My husband used to be the same. I just went ahead and did what I did because at the end of the day, it's my money. Now he's used to the idea and sometimes I even joke and say "hey how about another lady dior for my birthday" and he'll roll his eyes and say "maybe" haha.
Which LD are you thinking of getting btw? I feel like this should be in the Dior forum

 

[sunholic]

I love the lady dior bag! If you've got chance to get it in europe with tax refunded, definitely go for it, because the price goes up every year.
Regarding your partner, he'll just have to come to term with it. I find the more you try to talk about it/convince him, the more strongly he will think negatively about it (it's a bit of reverse psychology). Just say, it's my money, I've worked hard. I didn't steal it from anyone. This is what I'm going to do.
My husband used to be the same. I just went ahead and did what I did because at the end of the day, it's my money. Now he's used to the idea and sometimes I even joke and say "hey how about another lady dior for my birthday" and he'll roll his eyes and say "maybe" haha.
Which LD are you thinking of getting btw? I feel like this should be in the Dior forum

Love your answer!
I know my partner will come around one day.. but just giving me really bad feeling when I am supposed to be super happy!
I was thinking Black patent GHW or Gray. haven't decided on the colour yet, I just love the style like forever,,, (probably should've got it before my Chanel tbh lol)
I am really concerned about the size though... I think Medium will be a lot more useful but small looks amazing.
I am also worried about my body size and proportion... I don't want to look like wearing too small bag.. I don't mind on other ladies, it looks amazing but just now on me..

 

[ccbaggirl89]

it depends on who is paying for the bag. if you are 100% paying for the bag, then buy what you want. maybe just reassure your partner that you have the funds for the bag and the vacation... it seems like that might be the real issue and not the bag itself.

 

[sunholic]

it depends on who is paying for the bag. if you are 100% paying for the bag, then buy what you want. maybe just reassure your partner that you have the funds for the bag and the vacation... it seems like that might be the real issue and not the bag itself.

He knows I have the fund.... I think he is worried about the future finance

 

[dieguteteufelin]

I'm not sure how Lady Dior bags hold their value but my boyfriend has been made well aware that classic Chanel bags appreciate in value. No complaints from him since and he's shared that fun-fact in conversation with others after verifying it himself.

 

[sunholic]

I'm not sure how Lady Dior bags hold their value but my boyfriend has been made well aware that classic Chanel bags appreciate in value. No complaints from him since and he's shared that fun-fact in conversation with others after verifying it himself.

That's good I'm not sure my partner believed me when I said it holds value LOL.
I guess it really comes down to my decision and tell him I want my bag with my money haha

 

[ashin121]

OH this hits home! This was an issue between me and my husband well. Especially earlier in our marriage. I work full time as well and I was in the same situation as you -- in 2013, I was leaving for Europe and I had saved up money by doing overtime to buy a chanel purse. It would have been my 3rd one that year so he wasn't too happy. He was OK with the first two because one was a wedding gift from him (GST) and the other was my gift to myself for finishing residency (Jumbo). I wanted my holy grail cobalt blue m/l w/ matte GHW if I found it in europe. It was sold out everywhere in the US. He made me feel really bad about it saying it was irresponsible even though I saved up money with overtime. I reminded him that it's money we would have never had! It really does make you think though... that money really could go to fund so many more "practical, useful" things or another trip etc. I wasn't going to get it.. i was going to get something cheaper -- like a boy bag (!!! back then the medium boy bag was $1000 cheaper than the m/l!!). Then they brought out my holy grail bag from the back at Rue Cambon 31. I looked at him w/ sooo much happiness .. while he looked back at me with sooooo much anger that his face turned red. At that point.. i said.. heck with it!!!! I'm going to buy it.. F it. We did fight about it... but I don't regret it at all. Is it irresponsible.... yes.... but who cares. it's your money. They will get over it and after a few years, they'll realize that it makes you happy and therefore makes their lives happier. it's true -- happy wife, happy life.

It was so much of an issue for us that whenever i saved up enough, I'd feel guilty and I'd put it in our joint savings. So I stopped saving my monthly allowances (based on our finance calculations.. i get an allowance ahha).. and just spent it every month on small things. It got to a point, i talked about purses at least once a day.. and then he said... FINE.. just buy it.. i can tell you want it and he was miserable hearing it everyday!

I bought a few more purses after and he didn't mind so much. I think it's the initial shock and disbelief and not being able to fathom why you'd "waste" your money on a purse.... but it makes you (me, us) happy. They just have to get over it. YOu have to get over the guilt that they planted in your head. (if you have any --- i sense some because i see you justifying your purchase like I did with my HG purse). Tip: My mom taught my sisters and I to NEVER say.. this is my last purse.... hahaha.

I've been better since I have a 14 month old and we got a new house. I haven't really purchased anything major in a couple years. I recently did get my first pre-loved chanel bag from Yoogi's closet. Everything prior was from the boutique. My husband didn't mind that I purchased it because I've been "good" (haven't bought a purse... chanel purse in a while).

I think overall, he has to trust you that you're not going to blow your money away if you guys were in a tight spot. THat you're not irresponsibly doing it... but you're doing it because you have thought about x,y, and z.. and buying this purse won't negatively impact the two of you. (i've said this to him too)

 

[Tuned83]

My husband used to be like your partner. I then showed him how prices go up and how Chanel is good at retaining value. 2 years later he's bought me a jumbo and boy. If it makes money sense (to a certain extent cos really it doesn't) and makes me happy, he does not mind! I don't buy to sell and have never sold any of my bags but the knowledge that it does not depreciate like my other bags value wise helps. Ur partner will come round eventually

 

[sunholic]

OH this hits home! This was an issue between me and my husband well. Especially earlier in our marriage. I work full time as well and I was in the same situation as you -- in 2013, I was leaving for Europe and I had saved up money by doing overtime to buy a chanel purse. It would have been my 3rd one that year so he wasn't too happy. He was OK with the first two because one was a wedding gift from him (GST) and the other was my gift to myself for finishing residency (Jumbo). I wanted my holy grail cobalt blue m/l w/ matte GHW if I found it in europe. It was sold out everywhere in the US. He made me feel really bad about it saying it was irresponsible even though I saved up money with overtime. I reminded him that it's money we would have never had! It really does make you think though... that money really could go to fund so many more "practical, useful" things or another trip etc. I wasn't going to get it.. i was going to get something cheaper -- like a boy bag (!!! back then the medium boy bag was $1000 cheaper than the m/l!!). Then they brought out my holy grail bag from the back at Rue Cambon 31. I looked at him w/ sooo much happiness .. while he looked back at me with sooooo much anger that his face turned red. At that point.. i said.. heck with it!!!! I'm going to buy it.. F it. We did fight about it... but I don't regret it at all. Is it irresponsible.... yes.... but who cares. it's your money. They will get over it and after a few years, they'll realize that it makes you happy and therefore makes their lives happier. it's true -- happy wife, happy life.

It was so much of an issue for us that whenever i saved up enough, I'd feel guilty and I'd put it in our joint savings. So I stopped saving my monthly allowances (based on our finance calculations.. i get an allowance ahha).. and just spent it every month on small things. It got to a point, i talked about purses at least once a day.. and then he said... FINE.. just buy it.. i can tell you want it and he was miserable hearing it everyday!

I bought a few more purses after and he didn't mind so much. I think it's the initial shock and disbelief and not being able to fathom why you'd "waste" your money on a purse.... but it makes you (me, us) happy. They just have to get over it. YOu have to get over the guilt that they planted in your head. (if you have any --- i sense some because i see you justifying your purchase like I did with my HG purse). Tip: My mom taught my sisters and I to NEVER say.. this is my last purse.... hahaha.

I've been better since I have a 14 month old and we got a new house. I haven't really purchased anything major in a couple years. I recently did get my first pre-loved chanel bag from Yoogi's closet. Everything prior was from the boutique. My husband didn't mind that I purchased it because I've been "good" (haven't bought a purse... chanel purse in a while).

I think overall, he has to trust you that you're not going to blow your money away if you guys were in a tight spot. THat you're not irresponsibly doing it... but you're doing it because you have thought about x,y, and z.. and buying this purse won't negatively impact the two of you. (i've said this to him too)

Ashin121! OMG that is 100% my situation right now!!!! (Except for the marriage part, we are not married nor engaged yet!!!) So good to know i wasn't only one feeling this way haha
I can 100% afford it but because I mentioned to my partner that I want to study again and want to buy brand bag sort of scared him off although again study, living and buying is from completely 100% my own saving.
I know I will be super happy with my bag if I purchase it.
You are right, I really need to get rid of my guilty feeling, if I'm not being irresponsible. I also need to explain him better with calm mind rather than being so "defensive" .

Thank you so much.

 

[ashin121]

My husband used to be like your partner. I then showed him how prices go up and how Chanel is good at retaining value. 2 years later he's bought me a jumbo and boy. If it makes money sense (to a certain extent cos really it doesn't) and makes me happy, he does not mind! I don't buy to sell and have never sold any of my bags but the knowledge that it does not depreciate like my other bags value wise helps. Ur partner will come round eventually

HAHA yes! so my husband is in business. Went to a top 10 MBA school. We have dashboards, excel charts of all of our finances etc. He said he's OK with Chanel because it increases in value HAHAHA. So he's even justified buying chanel. He said all other brands.... no. He said no to hermes because "that's just ridiculous". I didn't argue with him at that point! win for me! hhaha

 

[BalenciagaKitte]

If I can offer my 2 cents... for my husband, the issue was "it's just a bag, why is it so expensive?" and "you already have purses!" like others have said. It's not just a male thing, anyone can have that point of view. My recommendation is to really draw him out and get to the root of his disapproval. Many disagreements in relationships can be resolved with kindness, attentive listening to the other side, gently explaining your point of view, and most importantly, to show respect in what you say and how you say it. The relationship is more important than the issue, Usually..unless it has to do with cats. But everyone has different priorities.

After the conversation, when you are still resolved to buy the bag no matter what, at least your partner feels it's not with defiance or a negative attitude. And you will have strengthened the relationship, since both sides have felt heard and considered. I hope that helps!

 

[ashin121]

Ashin121! OMG that is 100% my situation right now!!!! (Except for the marriage part, we are not married nor engaged yet!!!) So good to know i wasn't only one feeling this way haha
I can 100% afford it but because I mentioned to my partner that I want to study again and want to buy brand bag sort of scared him off although again study, living and buying is from completely 100% my own saving.
I know I will be super happy with my bag if I purchase it.
You are right, I really need to get rid of my guilty feeling, if I'm not being irresponsible. I also need to explain him better with calm mind rather than being so "defensive" .

Thank you so much.

Oh girl... you are not married yet to him????? Who cares then!! it's truly just your money at this point! no ring = no say! (if you really love him... talk to him logically through it though)

When we were dating, he knew I wanted to buy a chanel purse once I finished residency and he was OK with it. ALl of a sudden, money becomes "ours" and then he starts to think of all the responsible ways we can use that money. Anytime money is involved, it has to be a joint decision now -- which is fine.. we are married with a kid and a mortage.

BUY NOW before marriage. One of the elders at our church told an engaged girl who loved shoes... "buy all your shoes now.. buy everything you want before marriage! it all changes after marriage" AHAH I completely agree with her on this!

 

[a.sun__]

I think it definitely helps to give him time to see how you value the bags, plus how the bags' prices will increase in value over time as well! My father was the same towards my mother about bags and certain types of jewelry in the beginning, but now that they've been married for over 30 years he's definitely come around. He also sees that it makes her happy and that since they can afford it, why not?

 

[tinyturtle]

my husband is ridiculously practical with money, so we did have this issue in the beginning of our relationship. i think my mistake was in trying to convince him with arguments that would fit his rationale and approach to money. so i just had to accept that it's ok for us to disagree. as long as our retirement, bills, children, etc are taken care of first - then i have the complete freedom to do whatever i choose with my money. currently, there is a "we/ family" fund that gets taken care of first and foremost, then there's the "me" fund that we each have. he chooses to invest, i choose to buy. i tease him about being cheap, and he teases me about being frivolous. i think i'll have the last laugh in the end, when all my handbags increase in value way more than his investments. hehe