How do you feel about spanking?

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  1. I needed to make clear so people wouldn't assume my nasty side was coming out again.:graucho:

    When I was growing up, although we were hardly ever spanked, (maybe once or twice at the most) by my mom, it was really not a big deal. All my dad had to do was give us that "look" and we were on our best behavior. I come from a family with a twin sister, twin brothers and an older brother. My brothers are older. When we were all in junior to high school, it was appropriate for the principal to give "licks" to the guys who were sent to the office for misbehaving. They used a paddle which actually stung a little, or so the guys say.

    I have raised two children and I think I may have swadded them on their bums very few times. Time out seemed more appropriate. I had ONE out of control moment with my teenage daughter who pushed me way past my limit and I slapped her across the face, and I have never gotten over that.

    These days, it seems spanking is considered child abuse and I just don't get that. I'm not talking bruised and battered here. I am talking a pop on the butt. Although I agree to an extent that we teach our kids it is wrong to hit; and yet they learn it from those parents who do spank. KWIM?

    I have a 2 1/2 yr old grand daughter and my daughter uses the time outs for discipline and taking away her toys for a while;

    So, what do you guys do and how do you feel about spanking?
  2. I am utterly & absolutely against spanking children. I have never laid a finger on mine & have two admirable young adults of whom I am very proud!
  3. I have no kids of my own but I was raised "old school" and received my fair share of swats on the behind growing up. Usually just the threat of a spanking was enough to get me and my sibs to behave.
  4. No kids either, but I was raised "old school" too. My grandfather actually made a paddle for my mother for me in his woodshop. A belt was used on occasion too.

    I got spanked a fair amount as a child too (even being rude/mouthy resulted in a spanking), but my brother who is 14 years younger than me, has gotten a pop on the butt maybe 3-4 times in his life.

    I don't know that I'll have kids, but if I do, I don't think I'll spank them. I don't believe in the "talking and reasoning" approach w/ screaming 2 year olds, but there is a happy medium to be reached.
  5. I see nothing wrong with a little swat on the bum, but so many people are sensitive to so many diff. things these days (not that that's bad at all!!) And when I have children, I'm almost afraid to spank them. Kids are getting smarter and learning what to say to get back at their parents also. A few years ago I had a friend (who was an absolute spoiled BRAT and need a whack in the head, not the butt) telling me stories of when she was a kid...she would say she was going to call the cops next time her parents spanked her and tell them that they were hitting her. I think that's really messed up.

    I personally wasn't spanked as a child.

    And I'm all for it sexually:angel:bahahaha
  6. Both of my parents regularly used corporal punishment on my brother and I. Personally I don't think it's a huge deal, although professionally I have to be against it (social worker). I think that it's good to give a swat or two to kids when they are young, it helps them mind and act right, but I'm pretty much against beatings (although, yes, I did receive them--many times). I was in the mall today and this family was passing by and the little boy, maybe two or so, was screeching, throwing a tantrum, and generally embarassing his parents. His mom swatted his little behind--only once, and he shrieked and then cut the crap very swiftly. I don't think that's inappropriate at all...but then again, I was raised old school and I would have gotten worse than that! And many of my friends got it too, from their parents, when they acted up. We used to compare and contrast!


    Oh, and why isn't this in the pregnancy/parenting thread?
  7. I'm 'old school' too...usually a belt was used. Taking out that belt was enough to instill the fear of God in me and I did whatever necessary to avoid it. But then again I grew up in the 70s/early 80s when there were no seatbelt laws, no drunk driving laws, and my parents left me in the car when I fell asleep (in the summer with the windows down). I turned out alright.

    I never plan on having children, but if I did, I wouldn't spank.
  8. there a saying..;)spare the rod and u spoil the child
  9. i dont have children but we were spanked as kids... i even gotten the belt before *eep* But do i hate my parents for this, no? I learned from it, to not misbehave :P I dont think there is anything wrong with a swat on the butt at a younger age, isn't this whats called discipline? it worked for me and my brothers and sister :shrugs: ive actually seen some really bratty kids, that look like they need one haha
  10. I'm not an advocate of spanking.

    I was not spanked as a child, although there was some disagreement about this between my parents (my father believed in it --when he lost his temper-- but my mother thought it was an atrocious thing to do). While I personally don't think it's right, I do think that it's something couples should discuss before they enter the starting-a-family phase of their relationship, because otherwise it can be very confusing for the child.

    The reason I don't believe in it is because I think it is better for a child to respect you than to be afraid of you. Whenever I did something wrong, my mother would tell me why it was wrong and the consequences that my actions had/would have, so instead of being afraid that I would get in trouble, I became afraid that I would make my mum sad, and I think that was both more powerful and helped me to see her as a human being instead of a figure of fear (I'm 25 now and she's my best friend, by the way). I can only speak from my own experiences, but knowing that my mum didn't have to resort to violence to discipline me made me respect her intellect a lot, so I valued her as a person, and learned to value the feelings of other people, too.

    I don't know, it's a very personal choice, but it's my thinking that it's better to try to talk things through with a child rather than scare them.
  11. So true
  12. I don't have kids, but I was spanked as a kid as well. I think that there is a line between discipline and abuse.

    Young kids especially don't understand taking their toys or talking to them. But a small pop on the hand lets them know immediately not to do something. At that age, I think it is more about startling them and letting them make the connection that it is something their hands are doing than actually having it hurt. My aunt pops her daughter's hand with less force than if she just clapped her hands together and it still does what is intended. And when kids get a little older, it is just often more effective than time out. Time out just means that your kid has to suffer boredom for a while. A smack on the butt is actual physical discomfort and something that most kids want to avoid. And that is the ultimate goal of discipline IMO. It is about keeping the child in line because they don't want the punishment associated with misbehaving.

    But saying that, I will again say that there is a difference between being spanked and being abused. If there are bruises or welts, then it goes beyond simple discipline IMO.
  13. :yes:
  14. I guess it depends on the child and the situation. We or I should say, "I" was spanked quite a bit in fact, I was over-spanked. What I mean is my mom would hit me on the arms, thighs & rear over and over again in a rage and would leave welts (no bruises but traumatic all the same). I believed this is what all kids got but learned differently as I got older. What my mom did was wrong. It is because of this that I don't believe in over-spanking but I do believe a quick, swift swat is sometimes in order. It should be done to get their attention, not necessarily cause pain. I see mommy animals do this all the time. But even they only deliver one spank (elephants use their trunks) If its good enough for the animals, its good enough for me.
  15. I spank as one form of punishment. It is by no means the only punishment or the one used the most. However, sometimes it is appropriate.