how do you develop thicker skin?

lilpicotin

lilpicotin

O.G.
Apr 28, 2007
3,046
180
#1
or an alternative title: "the joys of the internet".

so, i've been posting on a couple of internet forums, and ever since i decided to apply to law school, i joined a law school discussion website and found an independent, student-contributed statistics site (listing GPAs, LSATs, and extracurriculars for people applying to certain law schools, to see who gets into which school with what numbers). i thought the statistics site was really helpful, and was really grateful that previous generations of applicants filled in their information, so i added my profile too. i'm a really unique candidate, so it's hard to miss my profile.

anyway, while most of the posters are encouraging and nice, someone posted today that i was a "crazy dumb asian whore" for having quit medicine after so many years and going into law.

obviously this person is a stranger and has no idea where i'm coming from, the events that led to my decision, etc. etc., but the comment still bites. i can't get rid of the comment, and i'm loathe to take down my page because it has tons of comments from friendly other well-wishers who i want to keep in mind. but that's not even the point. i'm pissed at the poster, i'm mad, and i'm madder still that i can't just brush it off because i KNOW the person is an idiot.

so, my question to you guys is: how would you handle this? have you ever had an experience like this, and how did it keep you from turning off the internet entirely?

ugh...
 
#2
That's not a case of needing thicker skin that is just a stupid person feeling the need to spoil something is there anyone who controls where you have posted to have that comments removed
 
#3
yeah, i emailed the webmaster of the site. i hope they can, it's just such an offensive and irrelevant comment. i just wish i could ignore it, you know? i'm so mad i'm having difficulty concentrating on the things i'm supposed to do.
 
#4
Ask for the comment to be removed and then ignore the poster. Unfortunately many people become 'keyboard warriors' behind a computer screen. It leads to people being very rude and saying nasty things. This person doesn't know you, so don't sweat it.

This doesn't need thicker skin, just ignore. This poster lives a sad life :yes:
 
#5
Some people thrive on just being as nasty as they can and being rude when someone has accomplished a lot in their life. As we say in the Army "you better fly right, Private", in that just keep your eyes forward and keep going the way you are. You're in control of your future and you have been working very hard to achieve what you have and will.

Unfortunately you will always run across people like this who want to shoot their mouths off, if they don't hurt you that's fine but if they do get under your skin that is where they get their satisfaction.

Just keep in mind all the people that love and support you, they vastly outweigh the ones who don't, and while it is the ones who don't and make nasty comments that hurt, you need to keep the positive things in your mind and you will win in the end! And where will the nasty trolls be? Still on the internet being mean because they don't have anything else to live for.
 
#6
BlueGenes, my experience with any kind of pre-law forum (even/especially the site you're talking about) is that people tend to get jealous very quickly when they see someone achieve something that they are not able to or are having difficulty with. When they can't find the proper outlet for their frustration, they target the person who triggered it to feel better about themselves. You got into an amazing school very early on in the cycle, which is clearly a dream for a lot of applicants. You reminded some ignorant person of their own inadequacy, and that person got jealous and lashed out. I think you should keep that in perspective and remind yourself that the comment says volumes about the speaker and nothing about you.

I know what I'm saying isn't exactly earth-shatteringly original, but sometimes it helps to hear it from someone else. Again, congrats on the acceptance!
 
#7
It's so disheartening that there are still people out there who are ignorant and would make such offensive comments. I've never received a comment like that, but I can imagine how difficult it would be to brush it off. I've visited other forums periodically over the years but it is because of people like that that I have never stuck around. I jointed TPF in October of this year and it is the first forum that I have ever really been comfortable participating in.
 
#8
lilian said:
BlueGenes, my experience with any kind of pre-law forum (even/especially the site you're talking about) is that people tend to get jealous very quickly when they see someone achieve something that they are not able to or are having difficulty with. When they can't find the proper outlet for their frustration, they target the person who triggered it to feel better about themselves. You got into an amazing school very early on in the cycle, which is clearly a dream for a lot of applicants. You reminded some ignorant person of their own inadequacy, and that person got jealous and lashed out. I think you should keep that in perspective and remind yourself that the comment says volumes about the speaker and nothing about you.

I know what I'm saying isn't exactly earth-shatteringly original, but sometimes it helps to hear it from someone else. Again, congrats on the acceptance!
Click to expand...

lilian, first of all, congrats on toronto! you must be so psyched! it feels so good to be wanted, doesn't it? and second, thank you so much for what you wrote. it made me feel a lot better. i guess the thing is, when i first read a comment like that, i don't think, "wow, this person really is jealous/has issues". my first reaction was: "what did i do to make this person hate me so much?"

and coutureobsessed, i completely agree with you. tPF was the first internet forum i joined, and i didn't realize until i visited other forums that it takes a lot of work to keep the forums "clean" of offensive comments. thanks to megs and vlad and all our mods, tPF is a *really* warm, fun place to visit. i sooooooo appreciate tPF now.

and thank you guys so much for your kind words. i walked away from the computer and tried to get some work done, and i feel a bit better now. best of all, the comment was removed!
 
#9
I think thicker skin comes with age. I'm still quite sensitive, but I was a lot more so when I was younger.

ETA - I'm now able to realize that when a stranger attacks you, I know he's the one with the problem, not you.
 
#10
I'm sensitive when people post things that I feel are negative towards me on the internet, even though I know I shouldn't be. It still upsets me. I don't know the solution. I'm just a sensative person.
 
#13
Ugh! How annoying! There are def a lot of ignorants out there. I tend to just ignore those people and if they persist, I add them on my BLOCK list. That's the good thing about the internet, it's much easier to ignore people. I keep trying that IRL and not having any luck:P. Anyways, I'm glad that post has been removed.
 
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