How do you ask for an upgrade for those that were sucessful?

I wonder if the more sentimental ones are more newly married. There does seem to be some correlation between length of marriage and sentimentality here hehe. Not everyone of course, but I think I see a connection here.

I said I would be offended by this request (for sentimental reasons) and we've been married almost forty years. :biggrin:
 
AntiqueShopper said:
I think it depends on your husband and your plans to do with the original stone. My engagement ring is 1.02 points. My hubby saw me reading this thread and said, "You better not ask to trade in your ring!" He was very offended by the even thought of me trading up my stone. (I got my ring at Tiffany's, and they do have a great trade in policy). He supports my love for jewelry, but our engagement ring means something to him.

My response was as follows: "You mean I would give up my stone. Honey, a woman should never give up a diamond. She just gets a bigger right hand ring." He laughed.

Personally, at this stage I do not want a larger diamond, but if I did I would ask to save for a large right hand ring. This way you keep the original stone and the sentiment as well as get the size you really want.

Lol

interesting thread, op no one here knows your husband more than you do, so you need to approach this based on how you think he'll take it. Also, how would you feel if he said no? Just asking.

Personally I wouldn't upgrade my engagement ring, it represents the promise he made to me then, at that point in our lives.
 
I don't mean to be rude, but why would you want an upgrade when you already have such a large stone? I am not surprised your husband was offended, to be honest. It is one thing buying you a beautiful gift like a Love bracelet as a surprise (what a lovely husband) and another to be asked for a larger stone to replace something he gave you from his heart when he asked you to marry him and is already a large size by anyone's standards. It makes you seem shallow.

I just mentioned this scenario to my husband to see what he said and his mouth dropped open. Maybe it is a cultural difference as we live in the UK where people seem to place less emphasis on large diamonds but, to me, it is not even about the size but the fact that your husband chose it for you and it symbolises the love and commitment he felt/feels for you.

I don't want to offend you but this is just my opinion. Your husband sounds like a real treasure and already very generous to buy you a Cartier Love without even being asked.

If you are really intent on getting a larger ring I would just leave it as you have mentioned it to your husband and planted the seed - it sounds like he will just get more annoyed if you bring the subject up again, given his initial reaction.

Definetly a difference in culture. I lived in the UK for a few years and my DH is Scottish. DH was amazed, no initially stunned,at the difference in expectations when it came to diamond erings here in North America. He was very happy to upgrade to my 2.5 carat solitare on our 20th wedding anniversary from my very lovely .40 carat original ering. My scottish in laws and relatives are not understanding of this "extravagance" as they see it, but who cares, I'm happy, my husband is happy because I'm happy and it's no bodies business but ours. I love my ring and my DH!
 
Perhaps sentimental :hbeat:


Yes that counts! I reset my ring right before my wedding, and then I was a serial resetter after that. A girl has a right to change her mind, right? But..I do have the settings still, maybe that's sentimental too. ;)

:lol: serial resetter!! I hope that doesnt happen to me. I become "serial" about things pretty quick! But boots, shoes and balenciaga are a lot cheaper than diamonds!!

And yes, keeping your setting is sentimental. See? we are not just all about the bling.. right? :graucho::biggrin:
 
I'm sentimental about jewellery, end of story. Once it's in my jewellery box, it's like family and there ain't no getting rid of those suckers :biggrin:

I'm in a very fortunate position - my ring is a combination of a gift of the diamond from my mum (who had it for years and had never worn it) and it's a 1.5ct round brilliant, and the setting was something my fiance and I came up with together with our jeweller. Nothing fancy, just a narrow WG band, 4x double prong setting. It's a classic solitaire and unlikely to date. It's also proportionate - it's sort of a perfect size, not so big as to feel ostentatious or completely out of place for my lifestyle and age, not small so as to make me personally think "I wish I had more stone, less band".

It's funny too because originally he and I were looking at a yellow pear around 2ct - and getting completely demoralised by the process of sorting stones, my jeweller not being able to find any really nice ones, learning about bow tie effect (we were both amused by that one) and finally my mum was like "Ok, nuff now, try THIS" and we went "Oooooooh, that's not what we had in mind...but it's so pretty!" Talk about changing styles!

If my fiance and I had been on a really tight budget, personally I would have suggested just a micropave eternity band, rather than a solitaire or more traditional engagement ring per se. It's the exact same style I want for my wedding band and I would have stacked both of them on my wedding finger - not traditional but still chic and very affordable.

I personally wouldn't have gone for a smaller diamond solitaire for the sake of having a 'solitaire' or classic 'engagement ring style' ring - if it wasn't the proportionate size that felt right to me. My fiance felt the same - either get what you really want, or do something completely different but don't compromise to the point where it becomes a pale reflection of the original idea - you won't be happy and you'll end up paying twice.
 
My mum got an upgrande (kind of) but she didn't ask.. At the time my parents were married they were poor, all they could afford was a single gold wedding band and barely enough money for a small reception of 4 tables (very small right). My dad always promised her a proper ring and they saved up for years, I think I was 5 at the time, until he bought her a proper engagement ring, very modest but elegant, a .7carat round with 2 baguettes on each side . Fast forward 15 or so years, we moved interstate and made a pretty penny off selling our house, and housing in the state we moved to was very affordable (about half of what we sold our home for) with the extra money he bought her an upgraded version of her ring, same style but larger diamonds. She wore both, the new one on her left and old set on her right so she could remember the hardships that they went through together and reflect on where they had come to. My parents decided to hand it onto me, I wear it everyday on my right ring finger. When my husband first proposed it was a cz ring, which i still have and will pass onto my daughter, and retell the our story. Yes it is just a ring... But what proposal with out a ring? Therefore doesn't it make sense that it is sentimental?
 
Last edited:
I left this thread open and left the computer to go open the door, before I got back to the computer, the bf comes up to me and asks if this was a hint. Hahah. Maybe you should leave this thread open for him to see.
 
I'm somewhere in the middle. I think you should do both: keep the old stone, and get the ring you want. I guess I'm somewhat sentimental and think that if you have/will have daughters or granddaughters, it would be nice to keep the original stone in the family, perhaps reset as a pendant.
 
kath2 said:
I'm somewhere in the middle. I think you should do both: keep the old stone, and get the ring you want. I guess I'm somewhat sentimental and think that if you have/will have daughters or granddaughters, it would be nice to keep the original stone in the family, perhaps reset as a pendant.

I have 2 girls and plan to pass on my jewels to them. I am sentimental and want to have my existing stone to pass down. The pendant is a great idea.
 
Also, it just occurred to me that it probably makes a huge difference under what circumstances the first ring was bought.

If your DH was/is a romantic who did a surprise proposal complete with ring he'd bought himself in secret, I think it's understandable that he would see the ring as part of that big moment and also feel pride in what he'd picked. This is very different than two people agreeing to get married and then going shopping together, so that the ring seems more a big financial decision than a Romantic gesture.
 
Last edited:
My husband proposed to me with a tiny (by this board's standard) 0.5 carat ring many many years ago. I love it with all my heart and wear it and protect it and baby it every single day.

It never bothers me that it is a pretty modest size ring, as I am a sentimentalist and anything that my husband gives me is priceless to me. I do have to say that I am envious of my friends who, one after another, got an upgrade, but still, I never wanna ask my husband as I know he is working hard to provide for me and our set of triplets (lots of work and money!!).

but recently, he surprised me with a 1.2 carat diamond ring. Again, the size is nothing to shout at, but I know what he is thinking, he wants me to know his love for me has gotten 'bigger', just like the diamond on my finger ... and I am going to treasure it as much as I treasure its 'smaller' sister, and thank God everyday for giving me such a wonderful husband and family.

Sorry if I am a little off-topic here :P

You a have a wonderful attitude towards life!:biggrin:
 
I'd like my first ring to be so perfect that it would be a very long time before I thought about an upgrade - although I'd definitely only buy from a store that upgraded rings as you never know what's going to happe.

Although I also like the pendant idea to keep the original stone...