How did you know you were ready for a baby?

  1. Sign up to become a TPF member, and most of the ads you see will disappear. It's free and quick to sign up, so join the discussion right now!
    Dismiss Notice
Our PurseForum community is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker. Thank you!
  1. I tried to do a search and I couldnt find anything, so sorry if this has already been posted.

    I am 27 and DH is 30. We have talked about kids, but we are both on the fence. I want to travel a little bit more before we have kids.

    But how did you know you were ready? Its just such a huge decision and a life changing one at that. Are you ever ready? Time, financially?

    I know at some point I do want kids, but the part the scares me is knowing when the time is right, if there ever is a right time.

    Thanks for listening to me ramble!
  2. We just knew. I get that some people are on the fence, but we were just so giddy about it.
    If you wait until you've traveled enough, saved enough, etc. . . then is there a specific line drawn when you know you're ready?
    I'm guessing not, that's why people say you'll never be "ready" really.
    I guess when you both are excited about it you'll be ready!
  3. This may not be the answer you were looking for, but I found that there was no way to really be "ready." My first was unplanned. My second was planned, but I still doubted whether I was ready to do it again. Now I want to do it again, lol.This is the biggest decision of your life, but there's no litmus test for readiness.
  4. In a nutshell, you're never ready. LOL Although, there's probably such a thing as better timing...

    My pregnancy was unplanned, but it turned out to be probably the best time for me to get pregnant and have a child. DH lost his job at the end of last year, but that meant when I went back to work we wouldn't have to worry about childcare because DH could stay at home with DS. Sure, I've had to work a little bit harder (I do a couple things on the side to make extra money), but I couldn't imagine it any other way.

    DH and I did want to travel to a couple more places before I became pregnant, but now we're just going to do it with DS...We're going on our first road trip with DS driving up the coast of CA in December and next May we're flying to Hawaii. I travelled a lot when I was younger (got my passport at 4 months LOL) so I want DS to have the same.
  5. Hehe, like the previous posters are saying, I don't think you're ever truly ready!

    In our case, we decided that we knew we wanted children, we'd been married for 5 years and together a lot longer, and we weren't getting younger. It was a good time for us, since we both had jobs and a house. So we went for it. Would we have rather had more traveling done, more money saved, and more knowledgeable about what having a child entailed? Sure- but the first two will come with time (and we'll have our little girls on our adventures with us now!), and the third only happens once you've HAD a child, imo.

    Good luck with whenever you decide to go for it. :smile:
  6. I didn't, it just kinda happend! :smile:
  7. Thanks everyone!!!

    Its nice to hear reassurance there is never the "perfect" time!

    I figured in 3 years ill be 30 and DH will be 33 going on 34 and and we will have definitely traveled more, and thats the time frame we have kinda given ourselves as in traveling as much as we can until then!
  8. I definitely wanted to travel more so I traveled a lot with my husband when I was 26 to 27 to Europe, Hawaii, and Asia. I got pregnant at 28 and will deliver at 29. I want a big family - 3 children or so, so I knew I had to start asap.
  9. Like everyone else mentioned, there is no perfect way to know you're "ready"... you just have to go for it when the time is "right enough", I think. You can always travel more, save more money, think of more things you want to buy, etc. - but like a previous poster mentioned... all of that is possible with kids as well. Life is pretty much the same now... it's just a bit different. LOL, I realize that statement makes no sense.... but basically it means, I still do the same things, I just have to plan a bit more to get out of the house and always have someone with me when I go. :biggrin:

    For us, we had been married for 4 years, both had completed the degrees we knew we wanted to get (and then some), DH was in a comfortable work situation, we had reached a high point for us financially, and we had done what we wanted to do "as a couple". We just figured it was about time to start thinking about it. (I was 27, he was 33 when we had DD.)
  10. Keep in mind that once you're ready, it may not happen when you want.
    I know people that waited years to have a baby, carefully planning everything and then it took 3-4 more years to finally conceive.
  11. For me definitely didn't feel real until I saw my babies moving the first time during ultrasound. Thats when I know I'm so ready!
  12. This is the exact plan my husband and I had. In fact, we started trying as soon as we returned from a European vacation about six months before I turned 31. I'm 34 now...and no kids yet (although I'm pregnant again, for the fifth time *fingers crossed*).

    Things don't always work out like you plan. I'd give anything to go back and start trying when I was younger and had better eggs.
  13. :yes: that's what I was saying.
  14. I watched a programme on BBC3 the other night "Cherry has a baby" Im not sure if you can get a hold of it on the other side of the pond, but it was really interesting and featured different women at different stages who were all pregnant.

    Im pregnant and Im 21. I wanted this so much. But now I know that the baby is inside my belly Im like ArGh!! But really excited.

    I don't know what I will be like when the baby gets here (all going well!) but I want to be a mammy more than anything


  15. I could not agree more. I am not saying to skip the time you want to travel but just be prepared that even when you think you are ready, it may not be as easy as you think.