Workplace How close are you with your co-workers?

Feb 8, 2008
305
0
Does anyone hang out with co-workers outside of work and do more than the once in awhile happy hour? I have recently moved to another department/organization in our headquarters and moved 10 floors up. Ironically, leaving my old department has allowed me to become better friends with a group of people there. We all have lunch together everyday, text outside of work, go for happy hours and even go to parties/bar crawls together. We hang out quite regularly and even know each others' roommates as the roommates come out and hang out w/ us as well. Just wondering if anyone has the same type of camaraderie in the office. We all are in different teams although my "work BFF" or "work spouse" was the guy that took my old job, as it was a promotion for him.
 

clevercat

catwoman
Sep 29, 2008
13,345
4,508
Where the heart is
In my old job, I too had a 'work husband', somebody I hung out with, not just at work but on weekends off now and then - someone who probably knew more about me than my then SO. I am still in touch with him.
In other jobs, I've always made and kept really good friends
In my current job - nada. Nothing. It's a very small company, I am based way away from the office, I travel a lot. It can get a little lonely, but you adapt....
 

Coco Belle

spreading love!
Jul 14, 2009
3,145
5
I've been in jobs where it took years for a friendly, easy relationship to develop -- and even at that, we never socialized after work.

In my current job, my colleagues are probably my closest friends. We socialize after work, on weekends, and even celebrate holidays together.

So much depends on the culture of the company. People that you may have been great friends with outside of work, might never become friendly with you if the office culture is hostile/stuffy/backstabby/complain-y/etc.
 

Mitzy

O.G.
May 24, 2009
665
18
Left Coast, USA
I am at a very small workplace, a tiny non-profit with about 7 people I interact with on an ongoing, daily basis.
I have become pretty good friends with my supervisor, we talk on the phone and IM online once a week or so outside of work. I often give her rides home (she is legally blind and must take the bus for transportation) and we go shopping once in awhile (we like to go antiquing together).
Otherwise, I am pretty friendly with everyone, but we don't do a lot of out of work socializing.
 

oggers86

Member
Dec 7, 2008
3,572
11
34
Leicestershire
There are only 2 colleagues on the same level as me and we get on really well. One of them lives in the same village so we can meet up in the pub. Its difficult arranging time off at the same time as the other co-worker so we cant really do many things with each other.

There is a large team under me, some of whom I could consider socialising with but on the whole I dont feel comfortable becomming too friendly with the people I have to tell what to do or investigate in some situations.
 
Feb 8, 2008
305
0
Very interesting answers. I do believe it depends on the culture of the company or the office itself. I work in our corporate headquarters so everyone has their own "clique" and from what I can see a bunch of other groups hang out outside of work as well (so FB tells me or sometimes we run into them in the bars). I have been sent to work out of our smaller locations and there, I could see that everyone tends to mind their own business or don't do more than the lunch together.
 
Oct 20, 2008
4,207
1,553
I think it depends on how old people are as well. when I was younger I hung out with coworkers all the time - drinks/dinner after work, parties, concerts, trips, etc... as I got older, it happened less and with more select people. it's just a natural transition.
 

buzzytoes

Dog Chauffeur
O.G.
Jun 7, 2008
15,816
842
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6600 Feet Above Sea Level
This is the first job I've had (I'm 34 and have been here a year now) where I have NOT been really close with co-workers. That's mostly because I am one of two girls that work there, and the other girl is a driver, whereas I am a secretary, so we don't come in contact much.
 

karmallory

Purse Peace <3
O.G.
Nov 15, 2010
878
10
LIM & ILM
I have had (and am still close to) about two people from each job I've ever had. While I am friendly to all of my co-workers, certain ones just really "get" me and we hit it off. We go shopping, have lunches/dinners, and banter on Facebook. But if it adds any insight, I don't necessarily consider them "best friends"... My only two best friends are my DH and my girlfriend since Junior High!
 

ms-whitney

shopaholic
Sep 6, 2006
5,935
5
I think it depends on how old people are as well. when I was younger I hung out with coworkers all the time - drinks/dinner after work, parties, concerts, trips, etc... as I got older, it happened less and with more select people. it's just a natural transition.
i think it just depends on people.

my first job; that i ended up working at again (quit because i was sick and couldn't afford to work and be in the hospital getting meds at same time) we went to dinner, lunches and movies outside of work.

the second job i've had i ended up shopping once or twice with a coworker that was an old classmate, and hanging out eating and shopping pretty regularly with the stock supervisor (this was at Gap)

the third job i've had i have gone to lunch, dinner as well as movies and even a casino or two with my boss.

all of them were at least ten years if not more, older then i.

fourth job i've met my boss at starbucks, ate lunches, occasional shopping expedition and a LOT of cigarette breaks (i don't smoke but she does) and we were really chummy to the point where other coworkers and managers (she was store) would use that friendship against me. they'd never say it outright but hint that there is favoritism because of that. so sometimes she'd take a lunch first and i'd meet her up later and we'd return to the store separately too.

this pretty much goes on and on. i think currently the job i'm at i don't get along with the boss/supervisor as well as i have with my previous jobs and that somewhat is new to me. i don't really know if i can last long in a job where i don't get along with my supervisors. i don't need to be as friendly level as prior descriptions, i have held other jobs where i am not that tight with the bosses but i always tend to stay longer and ultimately do better when i do because

a) who wants to work at a job where they DON'T get along with their coworkers? maybe if it was a few hours (like ten or thereabouts) a week it wouldn't be so bad. but if you're working close to, basically, or over even--full time status--these people are people you'd see more then almost anyone else; sometimes even SO or family.

i only stay because of the people i work with; not necessarily the work or pay but i am lucky enough to say that because i'm in a metro city where jobs aren't plenty full but they aren't scarce either.

b) if the people you work with, esp supervisors, don't like or get along with you on some level they won't work as hard for you as they should and most likely you'd be stuck in the same position, moving very little in pay raise, and ultimately little to none thanks or recognition for work you do..and isn't that what we all really want? the income and the feeling of job well done.
 

babypie

Member
Jun 3, 2007
18,913
2
At my last job (I was there from age 17-27) I basically grew up there and formed life long friends. We were friends outside of work, did dinners, drinks, weekends away etc. I still keep in touch with them, although I now live in another country. We catch up whenever I'm back home visiting. I'll never find another work group like them, they were genuine, kind, funny and we all got each other through what was otherwise a stressful job.

In my current job, where I've been for 3.5 years, my co-workers are just work acquaintances. I really wanted to make good friends here when I started, but I don't fit in with any of them on any real level. I think it’s partly some cultural differences, and a lot of clickiness that existed before I came along. I get along with everyone on a superficial level, but I don’t have anyone that I'd call a friend at my current job.
 

sansandy

Member
Nov 18, 2010
423
2
Europe
I've been in my current job for 5 1/2 years. I work in a male dominated field, I'm one of the 2 females in my team. I do hang out with a few of my co-workers (I prefer calling them my friends ;))outside work. They're all around my age and we used to be in the same team. We go out for dinner (we also bring our partners along most of the time), celebrate birthdays, etc.
 

merryweather

Member
Jan 3, 2012
10
0
Definitely not close at all with any of my co-workers, nor do I want to. The main thing they like do is gossip and backtalk about other co-workers. I know you'll find that in any workplace setting you go but I can't help but be bothered by that. I'm well-aware that they say all kinds of bad things about me behind my back too and I don't want to associate with such people. I just simply work with them but I never get involved with them personally.
 

karmallory

Purse Peace <3
O.G.
Nov 15, 2010
878
10
LIM & ILM
merryweather said:
Definitely not close at all with any of my co-workers, nor do I want to. The main thing they like do is gossip and backtalk about other co-workers. I know you'll find that in any workplace setting you go but I can't help but be bothered by that. I'm well-aware that they say all kinds of bad things about me behind my back too and I don't want to associate with such people. I just simply work with them but I never get involved with them personally.
My last job was a lot like that. My coworkers were so jealous of each other and always trying to one up everyone else. I just tried to stay out of it and mind my own business, but that only led them to gossip more about me for "being stuck up" & "too good to go out for drinks with everyone". Sheesh! Couldn't win for losing.