Come on ladies, let's share your funny ones. I don't work any more so I don't get many FWs any more (even though most of the time my former trader colleagues send me sexist ones). OK, here is one; >HE SAYS, SHE SAYS > >He says: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. >She says: You wear pants, don't you? > >He says: Shall we try swapping positions tonight? >She says: OK -- you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa! > >He says: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? >She says: Turn sideways and look in the mirror! > >He says: Want a quickie? >She says: As opposed to what? > >* * * * * * * * * > >Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? >A. They already have boyfriends. > >Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is very night? > A. A widow > >Q. Why are married women heavier than single women? >A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. > >Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? >A.They're married. > >* * * * * * * > >On a wall in a ladies' room: "My husband follows me everywhere." Written below it: "I do not!" > >"God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" >"So you would love her." >"But why did you make her so dumb?" >"So she would love you." > >You have two choices in life: stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. > >At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" > The other replied, "Yes I am; I married the wrong man." > >A lady inserted a classified ad: 'Husband wanted'. Next day she received a hundred responses. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine". > >When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. > >Eighty percent of married men cheat in the USA. The rest cheat in Canada. > >A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished. > >A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." > >Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? >Dad: "That happens in every country, son." > >Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late." > >Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. > >If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. > >Just think: if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. > >You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she. > >First guy: "My wife's an angel!" >Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." Please share yours so I can have a laugh, too!