**Hermes Chat**

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  1. I shared this on the Health and Fitness forum earlier today. It's an amazing analogy of how depression feels.

    I saw this posted on Facebook. I've never read anything that so accurately described depression. I fully understand why the author didn't want to be identified. I suspect he/she has worked very hard to hide what they're experiencing.

    The person who wrote this does not want attribution, but please read:

    “Now Anthony Bourdain.

    When you have depression it’s like it snows every day.

    Some days it’s only a couple of inches. It’s a pain in the ass, but you still make it to work, the grocery store. Sure, maybe you skip the gym or your friend’s birthday party, but it IS still snowing and who knows how bad it might get tonight. Probably better to just head home. Your friend notices, but probably just thinks you are flaky now, or kind of an *******.

    Some days it snows a foot. You spend an hour shoveling out your driveway and are late to work. Your back and hands hurt from shoveling. You leave early because it’s really coming down out there. Your boss notices.

    Some days it snows four feet. You shovel all morning but your street never gets plowed. You are not making it to work, or anywhere else for that matter. You are so sore and tired you just get back in the bed. By the time you wake up, all your shoveling has filled back in with snow. Looks like your phone rang; people are wondering where you are. You don’t feel like calling them back, too tired from all the shoveling. Plus they don’t get this much snow at their house so they don’t understand why you’re still stuck at home. They just think you’re lazy or weak, although they rarely come out and say it.

    Some weeks it’s a full-blown blizzard. When you open your door, it’s to a wall of snow. The power flickers, then goes out. It’s too cold to sit in the living room anymore, so you get back into bed with all your clothes on. The stove and microwave won’t work so you eat a cold Pop Tart and call that dinner. You haven’t taken a shower in three days, but how could you at this point? You’re too cold to do anything except sleep.

    Sometimes people get snowed in for the winter. The cold seeps in. No communication in or out. The food runs out. What can you even do, tunnel out of a forty foot snow bank with your hands? How far away is help? Can you even get there in a blizzard? If you do, can they even help you at this point? Maybe it’s death to stay here, but it’s death to go out there too.

    The thing is, when it snows all the time, you get worn all the way down. You get tired of being cold. You get tired of hurting all the time from shoveling, but if you don’t shovel on the light days, it builds up to something unmanageable on the heavy days. You resent the hell out of the snow, but it doesn’t care, it’s just a blind chemistry, an act of nature. It carries on regardless, unconcerned and unaware if it buries you or the whole world.

    Also, the snow builds up in other areas, places you can’t shovel, sometimes places you can’t even see. Maybe it’s on the roof. Maybe it’s on the mountain behind the house. Sometimes, there’s an avalanche that blows the house right off its foundation and takes you with it. A veritable Act of God, nothing can be done. The neighbors say it’s a shame and they can’t understand it; he was doing so well with his shoveling.


    I don’t know how it went down for Anthony Bourdain or Kate Spade. It seems like they got hit by the avalanche, but it could’ve been the long, slow winter. Maybe they were keeping up with their shoveling. Maybe they weren’t. Sometimes, shoveling isn’t enough anyway. It’s hard to tell from the outside, but it’s important to understand what it’s like from the inside.

    I firmly believe that understanding and compassion have to be the base of effective action. It’s important to understand what depression is, how it feels, what it’s like to live with it, so you can help people both on an individual basis and a policy basis. I’m not putting heavy **** out here to make your Friday morning suck. I know it feels gross to read it, and realistically it can be unpleasant to be around it, that’s why people pull away.

    I don’t have a message for people with depression like ‘keep shoveling.’ It’s asinine. Of course you’re going to keep shoveling the best you can, until you physically can’t, because who wants to freeze to death inside their own house? We know what the stakes are. My message is to everyone else. Grab a ****ing shovel and help your neighbor. Slap a mini snow plow on the front of your truck and plow your neighborhood. Petition the city council to buy more salt trucks, so to speak.

    Depression is blind chemistry and physics, like snow. And like the weather, it is a mindless process, powerful and unpredictable with great potential for harm. But like climate change, that doesn’t mean we are helpless. If we want to stop losing so many people to this disease, it will require action at every level.”
    dharma, odette57, eagle1002us and 3 others like this.
  2. CG, thanks for caring enough to share that amazing analogy. So wonderfully written and understandable. I know it’s sprinkled a little on each and every one of us at some point in our life. I pray for those trying to weather a storm❤️
    Mindi B and Cavalier Girl like this.
  3. MissP 4: bunnies 0 :crybaby:
  4. CG, thanks for posting that analogy. It makes more sense to me now.
    Cavalier Girl likes this.
  5. Miss Emma: 3 Bunnies 1. Had to chase her down to save the one.
  6. So true, Cavalier Girl. In retrospect, I wondered why it never occurred to my doc to get my Vit. D levels tested. Instead, he pushed a "new" med that now, some years later, there are tv ads informing people they can sue if they get certain side effects. I took the med years ago at his urging and I got so anxious I couldn't even cross the busy street where I work (which has traffic signals that work fine). I told him about this side effect and he said I I should go see a phobia expert re crossing the street.

    Oh, I could say more but that's enough, you get the idea. I changed docs soon after that experience. From that experience I understood the "Gulag" experience that Solzhenitsyn wrote about, people being given meds that created anxiety. It's like your head is your prison.
  7. pursey, does Miss P want to eat the bunnies or just kill 'em? Yesterday Mabel found a partially-fledged baby bird (that I suspect had fallen from its nest and was already dead) and we had a heck of a time getting it away from her, but I remain uncertain of what, exactly, she planned to do with it. She likes to eviscerate her brother's tiny squeaky toys, but she makes no effort to actually ingest their innards--of course, their innards are less interesting than the real thing.
  8. Mindi, of the 3 bunnies I couldn't save from Emma, she only had enough time to eat one. When I found her, there was mostly just fur left. Gross.
  9. Just kill them and play. No dismemberment or eating thankfully.

    She did leave a well played with mouse on my couch this morning :panic:
  10. Oh, man, you guys, I feel positively fortunate with Mabs at the moment, compared to the ravages of Miss P and Emma. Mighty hunters, those two!
    CG, did Emma suffer any ill effects from the bunny ingestion? That's what I was concerned about for Mabs--feathers and itty-bitty bird bones--eeesh.
  11. No ill effects for Emma. Wish I could say the same for the poor bunny.
    etoupebirkin likes this.
  12. :P
  13. Oh I am so glad there are no bunnies in my yard. I have no idea what the monsters would do. Moose, on the other hand, would grab it and shake it to death like a toy. (He did this once outside, with my mother yelling at him to drop it, which he finally did.) Rocky, on the other hand, would as them in for tea.
    Cavalier Girl likes this.
  14. LOL! Henry would be afraid of 'em. He'd bark, but only as a nod to normal dog behavior. Then he'd get gone!
    Cavalier Girl and lulilu like this.
  15. Went to a warehouse sale today for a bunch of different makeup brands. Haven’t been to one in eons. So overwhelming! Tons of fun though. Bought an assortment of items to try.