Help with Kitty Behavior

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  1. Thanks in advance for reading this long post! I'd like your perspective on how to help my kitty. I adopted a one year old female cat in Nov. and I have to say, Remy is a very unusual cat. 😸

    On the plus side, she is extremely outgoing. She loves new people, runs to the door to meet the mail man and has a blast helping us entertain guests whenever we have a gathering. I don't think she would run from Godzilla. LOL! She's very affectionate, loves to play and yet still loves to be a lap cat. So it those ways, I couldn't ask for a better cat.

    However, the problem is that she is VERY clingy. She has bonded with me and can't stand for me to be out of her paw reach. I work from home and she is a constant bother during the day - trying to crawl on me or my desk, jumping into my lap, licking my hair... I have set up a cat tree, a warming pad and toys in different spots in my home office but she wants to be on me / bothering me. When I have a conference call and must put her outside the closed door she yowls - even up to 2 hours. She will not go to one of the cat trees or myriad of toys I have set up for her around the house (including hunting / treat toys).

    During my non work hours, she always wants to be in my lap. If I am standing or moving she is there and pawing at my legs for attention. These behaviors aren't a problem but speak to how she always wants to be around me.

    When I feed her, I leave the room to go back to what I'm doing. Then she yowls in the great room "looking" for me even if she knows where I went (after her morning feeding I'm always back in my office) We don't feed her from our plates but she will sit at our feet and yowl for food. I don't let her sleep with me. Yet she yowls outside the door at night for hours keeping me up. And it's been months since we adopted her. So consistency (eg. it's night time, here's your bed with a treat) doesn't "train" her to behave. I tried squirting her with a spray bottle at night per advice on a pet forum for about a week but neither she nor I was crazy about that solution. I'm not sure what the rituals were in her previous home but I would have thought that by now she would have given up on dinner scraps and getting in our room at night.

    On one particular day, I had some work to do and then some of my team over for a long meeting so Remy had to stay out of the office (and away from me) for over 8 hours. That evening she was so upset she was moody (didn't want to interact, seemed to be hunting me if that makes sense?) and then jumped on the sofa and bit me as if to punish me for being away from her so long. That sent me through the roof. This happened two other times that I left town for business travel. I love the cat but I'm not willing to be bitten because she is needy.

    So, I love Remy. I love giving her attention. Everyone in the family does. But she is not responding to routines and boundaries. I want to keep her happy and bouncy. But she has to be able to entertain herself during the day and not be a brat if I have to be away.

    I'd love your advice but let me say up front. The cat is a beloved cat - not a child to me. I am not open to any solutions that require me to interrupt or modify my work. If she can be in my home office happily prowling around and getting the occasional head pet that's great. But she can't interfere. I'm also not open to letting her sleep with me / in my bedroom. Other than that I'm open to trying new things.

    Thanks for your help!
  2. Have you ever had a pet/cat before?
  3. Yes, why?
  4. It sounds like Remy is bored. I had the same situation with a cat that I adopted last year. I adopted a "friend" for him and his behavior has definitely improved because he has a playmate.
  5. That's what I've been thinking. And I'd really love to have another cat. But I wanted to reach out to get a little more input to make sure I addressed anything I'm doing before I get another kitty so both of them are happy. 😺
  6. I was thinking maybe a playmate for her too. But you never know how they're going to react. Every time I've introduced a new cat into my house the older cat has gotten mad. We have two males now. They tolerate each other but are not bonded by any means.
    Maybe if you could contact an organization that fosters cats and ask if you could take one on a trial basis in case your cat doesn't accept the new one?
    I'd try a male if you decide to do it. Supposedly they accept the opposite sex better.
  7. Thanks for that suggestion! My only problem is that if I foster a cat, I'd reeeeaally have a hard time giving the new cat back. One of my friends is a vet tech and said she'd help me with integration. And I'm reading a lot on the process so if I do foster, I'll give them every chance of actually getting along.
  8. I know
    Every time I've introduced a new kitty the older ones just have to accept it, like it or not. Now if there was bloodshed or if my older kitty wouldn't eat or started peeing in the house or something, that would be different.
    GL. Your cat sounds like a real character. I like that she's so friendly when you have company.
  9. I only had one cat until last year. My advice would be that having two cats get along takes more time than you might think. It took a good 6 weeks before my two boys really tolerated each other. It was closer to 2 months before they actually started playing with each other. But after that, no issues.
  10. Outside of getting another cat, which may or may not solve the problem, I have no advice. It sounds like you just ended up with a needy kitty and will have to learn to deal with it or rehome him. My Fat Boy woke me up pretty much every night of his entire life meowing. Sometimes I would be able to shut him out of the bedroom, sometimes he would claw at the door until I fed him. It was just how he was and there was no changing it. Behavior can be modified, but I don't think personalities can.
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