Help with BIG 21 birthday party!!

  1. Hey everyone! Im throwing a huge birthday party for my birthday. Its still a little ways away, but better to be prepared early right? My plans are to have an all White party and my V.I.P's will be in black. And I will be in...whatever the cutest thing I can find is :wlae:.
    Right now I'm trying to figure out what else I want to do. I know I want a bar and a DJ. But, should I do a dinner? Its going to be more of a "club" type of party and not really like a formal party or anything. I was thinking about maybe having a little buffet bar? Should I have tables with table cloth's and center pieces and all that? Ive never thrown a party this big, and I dont want to spend money on a party planner :push:. I just figured thats more money I can spend on my party lol. Oh, also...I was thinking about have nice birthday cake for my V.I.P's and me, then buying some Wal Mart Cakes for everyone else, is that rude? lol. HELP!
  2. I'm no good at organising big parties but I do think it's kind of rude to have different cakes for VIP's/Non-VIP's, I guess I don't really see the point, imagine how crappy it would feel to see a fabulous birthday cake then being given something from Walmart to eat. Is it a normal thing to have VIP's at a birthday party?

    Hope you have a great party though - all white sounds great.
  3. Thanks for the reply. I think its pretty normal to have VIP's, considering its going to be at a club, or atleast a club environment. The birthday cake....yea, I was thinking that too:noworry:.

    I also failed to mention I'm going to have upwards of 200 people there.
  4. be prepared to spend a ton of money if your having it at a club. i feel like it sounds like something from my super sweet sixteen, lol. Dont forget to have fun
  5. Wow! 200 people - sounds like a blast. When's your birthday?
  6. Well, I guess you could say that. But, without the spoiled little brats:p.
    And also, I have a few people that can give me some good deals on club's. Im looking at about $2,000 for the facility itself, which will probably include the price of the DJ.
  7. Sept. 1st.

    I'm not sure if 200 people will actually show up lol, BUT...thats how many is supposed to be there.
  8. Oh I need to ask something else....

    What if I charged $5.00 to get in? This would be for the people that I do not know. I am going to let whoever I invite bring 2 people. So, the +2 who's names are NOT on the guest list would be paying the $5.00.
    I am planning on having an open bar(free drinks), so I figured where can you drink all night on $5.00?? I know a few people who have done this already, with a good turn out, and no complaints. Advice??
  9. no offense, but i think it's kind of crass to have "VIPs" and REALLY crass to charge your friends' guests that you told them to bring. i probably wouldn't attend a party where either thing was happening, even if i was a "VIP." to me, when you have a party, a hostess is supposed to be gracious and happy that so many people want to come out to celebrate a milestone in her life. trying to manufacture some sort of "privilege" is, to me, kind of assinine and immature.

    i mean, come on, we all make fun of the brats on 'super sweet 16' that do this...

    i'm sorry, i know that was probably a little blunt, but i think you should reconsider your attitude about the whole thing.
  10. No need to be sorry, I knew people would disagree.

    Let me address this though. My VIPs would be the people that are close to me. I.E- my best friend of 15 years, my boyfriend. Not necessarily a whole flock of people. Probably 5 people, max.
    With the friends of guest's...Im not telling them to bring people, I would actually prefer them not to bring people. But, everyone at my party will not know other people, so I am giving them an opportunity to bring people they know. I personally wouldnt want to be at a party if I did not know anyone but the person throwing the party.
    Also, I just dont feel like I should pay out of my pocket for liquor all night, for someone I do not know.

    Now, with that said...maybe I should NOT have an open bar. Would it be wrong to assign a certain amount of free drinks? Maybe have 'monopoly' type money, give everyone 4 or 5 "dollars" and tell them each dollar is good for one drink. After the dollars are need to pay for your own drinks. That way I would not have a problem with letting everyone in for free. And would possibly even save money.
  11. I just had a decent 18th and had a pretty big 16th where im from drinking is legal at 18 so its our version of 21 even though everyone has 21sts anyway. btw 16th: 120 showed with about 180 invited, 18th: 65 showed with 100 invited in both times about 1/10 of the people were friends' guest i met on the night, if ti were anymroe i would hate randoms i dotn know attending my event, limit it to 1 guest p.p. that really needs one i.e. random single girlfriend from work that u cant babysit all night to please them. p.s. rule of thumb is invite 1/3 more people than what you want to attend the event.

    Write INVITATION ONLY on your invitations (and even the guest people) for the guests write dear XXXX and guest, you are invited to YYYY's 21st bday etc. you will get people asking to bring guests so allow for it.
    I personally woudl never EVER make my guest pay for anything at my celebration (sorry if i offend you) I think its rude to be invited to an event, give a gift and then shell out money. if you want to limit your alcohol allowance there are many ways to go about it without being rude:
    1.) have a tab with the bar already set, when it reaches this limit (depending on the price of alcohol at the bar i would suggest 5k) after this point all guests pay their way.
    2.) have a time restricted lime limit on drinks i.e. you pay for all drinks up till 12 or 1 am etc.
    3.) I strongly suggest this, but maybe its my style because i like my events upper end and classy. have the drinks (and food) served by the staff on trays (cocktail style), no drinks offered via the bar, that way you control the limit and what is available to guests.
    4.) Have the available drinks chosen by you in your price bracket anything outside of it is not offered or paid by guests. where im from this is generally wines, champagne, beers and 1 or 2 cocktails.
    5.) I don't suggest this but i can be done, have drinks sitting on tables ready when the guests arrive and any additional is at their cost (you can even do a champagne fountain like me) but be aware this can cause problems such as fighting over drinks, loosing drinks, and more importantly drink spiking. you dont want that hanging on your head.
    Alcohol is a hard this because it is expensive and some people get as trashed a possible (and can ruin your party) by taking advantage of free grog.

    Dont do VIPs and if you do make it subtle. If you really want don't do anything huge like a complete different color scheme as you suggested or roped off areas, they will stick out and other guests will get offended. If your really keen on it i would give my vips something subtle like all matching pendants, broaches or matching twilly scarfs as gifts to wear on the night and if asked they can tell people they were 'gifts' for being good friends or help planning the party etc. (and the staff can differentiate) To tell you the truth i had unintentional vips at my party only because the person is a celebrity and their entourage (who i knew) Which i regret inviting because they got all this unneeded attention and they felt uncomfortable. my parents asked for special better quality nibblees to be given to them by the waiters but this was offered to other guests after the vips had 1st pick. So it wasn't really obvious.

    About the cake uh NO! dont make it obvious as that. Here is an alternative to get around it if you want a quality step between 'vips' and guests. Have a small size good quality cake (that you want and ur vips to eat) use this for show and when you blow the candles, have it taken into the kitchen to be cut up and offered to your appropriate guests (don't be strict, if i non-vip guests some don't make a fuss) however have many cheaper cakes reserved in the kitchen to be catered out simultaneously with the initial cake, make sure the icing and color of fillings match and no one will notice and it wont be obvious. it will look like there was more cake cut up in the kitchen not a lower grade. Did that make any sense? or you can have the kitchen make other cheap desserts to pass around i.e. cupcakes and keep the birthday cake to have with your family and friends the next day. you should not discriminate between guests and if you do don't make it obvious.

    BTW i just noticed your ticker, you have just under 2 months till ur bday and your at this stage, events like this take months to plan, maybe its not as detailed as mine but FYI it took me 4 months of planing and get a move on with your outfit you need to love ti and not feel pressured to buy something because the big day is coming up you will regret it and really wear the outfit again.

    I dont mean to sound rude or offend you in this at all but just the way, i just recently did my party and wanted to advise to you, its your choice and you can do what you like enjoy it its your night!
  12. i think the VIP thing is kinda unnesessary, IMO, if you were ahving a club event that was also opened to the public i would say yes but its just people your inviting and thats it, I dont think it is necessary...I know a few of my friends had parties at clubs/resturaunts here in NYC like ciprianis and marquee and they had gotten the upstairs room for only their guests but then mingles throughout the main area if you want, that was fun, and usuallly either had open bar or open bar up to a certain time, and never had to paid to get in
  13. My personal feelings are that charging people to attend your birthday party is not right. If you can't afford the open bar for all of your 200 guests, have a smaller guest list to something you can afford. To me it is different if my friends decide they want to take me out and they pick up my drinks for my birthday, but if I tell people to come celebrate my birthday and I'm throwing a party for it, I'd expect to cover all expenses. It was my bf's bday a month ago and he wanted to throw a party... so we chose options where we could afford the dinner, drinks & entertainment for everyone. I would've felt weird inviting people and then being like ok you owe me x amount at the end of the night since we planned and invited them.
  14. My bestie just had her 22nd Birthday party on Saturday. It was similar to what you are planning because she rented out a place that was club environment too. She invited about 70 people and about 35 showed. She had a D.J and the place had the bar but it was not free drinking we all paid for our own. All in all it was tons of fun and she spent about $1400.00 for everything cake,the place, food, decorations, and D.J. We had one big cake and everyone enjoyed a piece...I disagree with the splitting of the cake for V.I.P's and non V.I.P's as well...also i don't think you should charge either just try and have only the people you really want be there and no one else!

    Edit: The place she had her party at also had a strict rule of anyone under 21 had to be out by 10PM this making it less risking of something going wrong. I kinda liked the non open bar thing because people were less likely to get hammered and ruin the party!
  15. This helped A LOT! Thanks!!