2007 has turned out to be a year full of drama and stress for me so far. You know how they say honesty is the best policy and how you're supposed to be honest with your partner/SO/spouse/whatever? Well I'm completely regretting that right now. I really need you guys' advice on this one because I don't know what to do. I was going to post this last night but I was just not in the right state of mind to do it. Here's the situation. I told my SO that I was laid off. Well, that turned out to be a BAD move on my part because now he was pressuring me even more to move to Singapore. Don't get me wrong, I have NO problem with moving ANYWHERE as long as I can find a job that pays me the market rate (but have to be equivalent or more than my last job's salary). My SO kept insisting that the standard of living in Singapore is lower than that of the U.S. and I have no idea where he got that idea. I've been doing research for months now, speaking with family friends who have lived in SG and US most of their lives as well as researching the cost of living index. A study done by Mercer Consulting Group (which is a very reputable source) had shown Singapore to be amongst the top 10 in terms of standard of living, waaaaay before Los Angeles. Therefore, logically speaking, I should be making even more money in SG than in the U.S.. Unfortunately, he doesn't understand that. He kept saying because i wouldn't have a car and would not need to pay for insurance and gas, I don't need to make as much money. He also said that I don't need to pay for rent because he would be paying for it, therefore I could live comfortably there. He just did NOT get it!!! I told him I absolutely cannot move there if the paycheck isn't good. And he said that if I want to find a job in SG, I need to move there first because otherwise people would not want to bother interviewing me if I were in the U.S.. Well, I've been using a SG address and contact phone# for all the resumes that got submitted to job openings in the U.S. (with the exception of a few) and NOBODY has contacted me! That shows that my qualification is NOT appealing at all. I explained that to my SO and he just wouldn't understand. He kept saying I should stay in SG for 3 months and try to look for a job. And if I can't find one, then I come back to the U.S.. He said I had nothing to lose because I have citizenship in the U.S.. Now, the reason he wanted me to move to SG is that his sister and her fiance (who run the company that my SO was working for) was thinking of exiting the market and they wanted him to be the COO and take over. He said that he could NOT do this without me being there. He said he needed my emotional and mental support by being physically there. Then he said "Behind every successful man, there's a great woman." Well geez, what about MY emotional support?! Where the hell was he in past 3 years when I was all alone and going through my rough time?! Ok, so maybe I'm too modern or something in my thinking but WHY must I be the one to sacrifice everything just because I'm female? Here's another thing that I just don't get. He said if I decide to go back to the U.S. after not being able to find a job by staying in SG for 3 months, then he would give up the opportunity he had in SG and come back with me as well. I do NOT understand this. I told him NOT to give it up. I said he should be the COO if he thinks the company will thrive and that I have absolutely NO problem with doing long distance for another couple of years but apparently he couldn't because he said he couldn't do this by himself. Now, the reason I cannot do 3 months in SG is that I have several job leads at the moment. Granted, I hadn't done any interviews yet but if successful, these are positions that will actually pay me at market rate. I mean, opportunities like this may never come again ... A lot of times, finding the right job has to do with timing as well. Here's the thing, I've been with this guy for 4 years now. We are similar and we get along very well except for disagreements on how money should be spent and couple of other small things. I know I complain about him from time to time but he is the one person in the world who understands me the most (aside from my family), not to mention that he and I do get along very well in comparison to other couples that I've seen . He is a nice guy and a good person, but it's just that this long-distance and career thing had been a major issue with us. I'm already willing to compromise by moving to Singapore in the future. I don't think it was too much to ask if I wanted to stay in the U.S. for a few more years, make more money, get my CFA and what not before moving there. I told him I have to get a CFA because since he wasn't planning on staying in SG forever (yeah, yet he wanted me to move), I don't want to do the same stupid dance of finding a job and being frustrated again if he move to some other country. He didn't want me to get a CFA because he thinks that would limit my scope. It is just plain frustrating. Right now, I told him I can only stay in SG til my severance package runs out. He said that I need 3 months to find a job because ppl there are not very efficient (Huh? My impression of SG is that they're extremely efficient). Well, I can't do 3 months. I'm already stretching it by staying til my severance package run out because when that happens, I won't have any income. Furthermore, I cannot lose the job lead I have right now ... The headhunters may not want to work with me again if I bail out on them ... I don't know, what should I do? I mean, should I just go to SG and really try to find a job there by staying there for 3 months? Or should I just stay til the severance package is up and try to hold onto my job leads here (not sure how I can do that though)??