Help! Seller doesn't wanna refund me, we didn't even do a transaction??!

Status
Not open for further replies.

diera23

Member
Nov 19, 2009
2,268
1
Pardon my rant over here. Maybe I'm having PMS, I feel like I'm actually overreacting, but I just don't understand the logic of the seller.

A week ago this item was wrapping up its bidding but I had to miss it. Beautiful item of it is, I contacted the seller that I am very interested in it. "If winner is non-paying bidder, please let me know I will be willing to pay for the exact same amount". She replied she would keep me posted.

Three days ago she relisted the item. I messaged her right away about my high interest in the item. We talked and talked but my offer is not as high as another person. She did not completely reject it, though, she said she would need time to think about it and would let me know ASAP. I waited and waited, and afraid that the other person would get the item, I sent her payment through PayPal without her approval. My brain might not function right at that time when I did it, it was past midnight before I went to bed. But I thought if she saw a payment posted from me, she might accept my offer. Otherwise, she can easily refund my money if she doesn't want to accept my offer. That's what I thought how simple it was. I messaged her about it.

The next day she sounded angry and sent me three emails, one of them in all capital letter. She said I've created such trouble, and that she would need to call PayPal to resolve it. I immediately replied, saying that she needs to merely refund me and that's it. She didn't reply. I emailed her 2 more times and she replied the next day. I thought she's the one who wants to solve it immediately? It was yesterday that we communicated back and forth, but she still wouldn't refund me. I told her how easy it is for her to refund me, she said she wants to wait for 2 weeks. I asked her why, and she said she had an incident where a buyer bought an item for her and claimed for an unauthorized purchase after 10 days. I told her I'm sorry about the unfortunate incident, but it's my own money, and if I'm not getting the item, just refund me. She said she cannot do that because she doesn't know me. I emailed her a long one trying to tell me of my identity, my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn profile, university directory, personal website, anything that can convince her as me as an honest real person. She said "I will still wait 2 weeks I don't know you". I emailed her one last time asking if I drive to her place to show her my ID and passport (it's 6 hours away, but I want my money back) will it help, she replied "It will not help. 2 weeks. I don't know you".

I'm so confusedddd. I know it's completely my mistake of sending her the payment at the first place, but I didn't know it was going to be as complex and I'm punished like this. I am too paranoid here because I sent her "Payment Owed" instead of "Buying/Selling transaction" and it went out straight from my bank account! I am so afraid that I am not eligible under any protection from PayPal. How about if after 2 weeks she doesn't refund me? Plus, I want to get another item that might compensate of what I did not get from her. On top of that, I just don't get the logic of hers.

I want my money back because I'm not getting anything. Is this too much to ask? What do you think about it? Your kind opinions are appreciated. I apologize and apologize to her in every email about the trouble (which I don't think it's supposed to be this difficult), she still said she doesn't know me. This money is a lot, it's thousands of dollars. I'm willing to wait for 2 weeks in the worst case, but am still afraid that she still won't refund me. Am I missing something here, do I not know something? I'm also a seller, I am not aware of possible consequence for giving a refund to someone I've never had a transaction with. Help :confused1::sad:
 
Last edited:

ShoesOnMyMind

Member
Aug 25, 2010
1,097
0
EU
I'm so confusedddd. I know it's completely my mistake of sending her the payment at the first place, but I didn't know it was going to be as complex and I'm punished like this. I am too paranoid here because I sent her "Payment Owed" instead of "Buying/Selling transaction" and it went out straight from my bank account! I am so afraid that I am not eligible under any protection from PayPal. How about if after 2 weeks she doesn't refund me? Plus, I want to get another item that might compensate of what I did not get from her. On top of that, I just don't get the logic of hers.

is this real? I dont mean to make you feel worse but...what were you thinking????
Well,as fas as the seller giving you a hard time refunding you...I think she got lucky! What she says doesnt make sense, she doesnt need to know who you are to refund you the money you mistakenly send her. She´s on to something! If I were I´d start talking to her in a different way. Stop apologizing and DEMAND of her to refund the money today!
 

diera23

Member
Nov 19, 2009
2,268
1
is this real? I dont mean to make you feel worse but...what were you thinking????
Well,as fas as the seller giving you a hard time refunding you...I think she got lucky! What she says doesnt make sense, she doesnt need to know who you are to refund you the money you mistakenly send her. She´s on to something! If I were I´d start talking to her in a different way. Stop apologizing and DEMAND of her to refund the money today!
I wanted to avoid fees for both of us so I did Payment Owed, now I can't believe I actually did that. I'm just trying to be nice, I'm actually very angry and upset :sad: I am afraid that if I change my attitude toward her, she will become more resistant toward refunding my money. After all, she's the winner in this case, she has my money hence, the power.
 

chikapinku

saving. mostly.
Aug 22, 2009
1,875
2
Australia
Do you still have the option to cancel/refund the payment from your Paypal screen, or did she already accept your money?

I don't know if you'll be able to get your money back to be honest, OP; as far as claims and the like go you're out of luck because the transaction was off eBay and from what you've said, you paid via your bank account (even if you could file a chargeback, you don't actually have proof of a transaction taking place so I don't know how successful this would be anyway). I'm sorry that you've got yourself into this situation and I'm sure you're beating yourself up over it enough already. I do wish you luck in getting your money back.
 

Hessefan

O.G.
Sep 14, 2009
2,417
517
The trouble may be that it costs a fee to refund someone, at least it always did when I have refunded. If I accidentally overcharge on postage, I refund the buyer and incur a fee, so if it's thousands of dollars the fee may be hefty?

As for the rest, wow. I simply don't understand why you'd send thousands of dollars to someone who isn't willing to sell to you at that point? Did you want to make her feel guilty? I'd never even consider selling to someone who a) sends me messages incessantly, and b) tries to bully me into selling to them.
What's done is done I guess, but I can understand why she is really annoyed and maybe trying to make you wait to punish you or feel like she has some control over the situation. There isn't much you can do at this point, because I can't see how Paypal would be able to help you with this if the seller makes up a story or just disappears. However, good luck with it.
 

immashoesaddict

◦● TEAM JIGGLES ●◦
O.G.
Jun 15, 2007
4,386
6
Melbourne , Australia
I dont mean to sound harsh ..but WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING? Im sorry op i doubt you would get you money back unless you pay with your CC , you will be able to do a charge back. i still dont get why you would send some one $$ for a transaction that may or may not happen :???: Otherwise there isnt much you can do now either do a charge back or call paypal for advice.
 

patriot511

Member
Feb 1, 2009
567
1
I'm sorry this us happening. I'm sure you already know it wasn't the wisest thing to do by just sending her the money, so I'm not going to badger you on that. We all make mistakes. Here's another aspect I was thinking. Maybe her rent or mortgage is due and she's using this as a stall tactic and already spent the money. Maybe she gets paid every two weeks and will refund you then. What she's doing isn't right either by any means. I sincerely hope it works out for you.
 

northerndancer

What, me worry?
O.G.
Dec 30, 2007
5,070
684
The Cool Cool North
Unless the seller is dishonest, I expect the OP will get her money back eventually. I imagine the seller is as perplexed as we are that someone would just send her money like that. I don't blame her for being concerned that she is getting set up for some kind of scam. OP, you have no leverage to get your money back - you are dependent on the integrity of the seller. She is saying two weeks. I would just wait the two weeks.
 

Cocolo

~NiceGirl My Butt!~
O.G.
Sep 24, 2010
10,910
104
New York
Wow, I would be so freaked out right now. Call PP and see if they can offer any advice. You are really in a pickle, and I hope it all works out all right for you. Good luck and let us know how it all turns out. I'm sorry you fell into this mess.
 

5elle

Member
May 21, 2009
2,210
0
I don't know how to resolve this but I do not blame the seller one bit. Because your behaviour was so utterly bizarre and illogical it makes sense to me that she thinks you are trying to pull a scam. Paypal DOES charge fees, so one of you will be out of pocket. She is right to wait and ensure that she has time to sort all of this out.

You have caused immense hassle. The least you can do is wait.
 

noshoepolish

Labrador Lover
Authenticator
O.G.
Oct 4, 2006
9,817
118
Looks like you sent someone some free money. Hopefully she will refund you when all clears.
 

itsonly4me

Oskar Waltz
O.G.
May 8, 2007
8,563
7
37
PA
Wow, just when I thought I had heard it all.


I am sorry though, I know what you must be feeling right now. Did you call paypal and see what they suggest? I just hope the seller is honest and will refund your money. They used to not charge any fee, but now they do, so depending on the amount, you may loose a decent amount of $$.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.