Help for a friend

Catsandbags

Member
Sep 18, 2013
1,376
0
NY
7 years ago I found a kitten crying under a car. My boyfriend and I brought her home and raised her. Years later we broke up but are still friends. My little cat was always so attached to him - she lived with him and I visited. She suddenly died yesterday. He brought her to the vet but it was too late. I am thankful I got to see her beforehand but am also completely heartbroken. This hurts but my main worry is for him. She was his best buddy. All of our friends would like for him to get a new cat. I know it is important for him to mourn but I do know that rescuing another cat will help him so much. Any ideas on how to help? Thanks so much for listening .
 

Cindi

My baby, Bellis
O.G.
Aug 8, 2006
9,872
159
53
PA USA
I'm so sorry your friend lost his kitty. We all know how devastating that can be. All you can really do is be there for him and listen to him. Let him know you know how he feels. The only one that can decide the right time to adopt another cat or not adopt is your friend. It seems like a good idea, a compassionate idea to find him the perfect kitty to fill the void but if he is not ready it will do more harm than good as he will associate the new kitty with the pain of his grieving for the one he lost. Wait a while then feel him out about the idea of adopting again. He will know when the time is right and you can be there to help him.
 

Catsandbags

Member
Sep 18, 2013
1,376
0
NY
Thank you so much for your advice. I have been doing just that- spending time with him and supporting him. I will continue to do so. I may drop a little hint after some time.
 

poopsie

How Sentimental
O.G.
Jan 14, 2009
12,456
3,229
Where the wild things are
I'm so sorry your friend lost his kitty. We all know how devastating that can be. All you can really do is be there for him and listen to him. Let him know you know how he feels. The only one that can decide the right time to adopt another cat or not adopt is your friend. It seems like a good idea, a compassionate idea to find him the perfect kitty to fill the void but if he is not ready it will do more harm than good as he will associate the new kitty with the pain of his grieving for the one he lost. Wait a while then feel him out about the idea of adopting again. He will know when the time is right and you can be there to help him.

This. Exactly.

A little stray kitten found me on a Friday. Three days later our beloved Boo was attacked and later died. I know that it isn't the kittens fault, but we are grieving so that it is hard to give the little newcomer the love and attention he would be getting under 'normal' circumstances. I feel so guilty and then beat myself up for feeling guilty.
Once someone has opened their heart to a little furry friend and then lose them they either want nothing to do with ever having another pet or after mourning their loss they find another to share their heart with.

I am so very sorry for your loss.
 

buzzytoes

Dog Chauffeur
O.G.
Jun 7, 2008
15,782
765
43
6600 Feet Above Sea Level
Give him a couple weeks at least to see how he feels. Then let him know that you would be more than happy to help him look for a new friend whenever he feels he is ready.
 

Catsandbags

Member
Sep 18, 2013
1,376
0
NY
This. Exactly.

A little stray kitten found me on a Friday. Three days later our beloved Boo was attacked and later died. I know that it isn't the kittens fault, but we are grieving so that it is hard to give the little newcomer the love and attention he would be getting under 'normal' circumstances. I feel so guilty and then beat myself up for feeling guilty.
Once someone has opened their heart to a little furry friend and then lose them they either want nothing to do with ever having another pet or after mourning their loss they find another to share their heart with.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Oh I am so sorry to hear about your Boo :sad:. Sometimes I think animals find us to help us through things. That little kitten is very lucky to find you and I know Boo is watching over you all.
 

boxermom

O.G.
Aug 26, 2006
27,084
591
North Carolina
It's always so sad to lose a beloved companion. Everyone is different in how they handle grief and how soon is right to get another pet. Right now may be too soon, but it's up to him. It sounds like you're being a great support to him.
 

Catsandbags

Member
Sep 18, 2013
1,376
0
NY
It's always so sad to lose a beloved companion. Everyone is different in how they handle grief and how soon is right to get another pet. Right now may be too soon, but it's up to him. It sounds like you're being a great support to him.

Thank you! I am trying to be as supportive as possible. When I adopted our cat I made a promise to care for her forever. And when we broke up it was so hard to say goodbye to seeing her everyday. It helped prepare me for living without her. I know the pain he is going through. I just want to make it better and the most frustrating part is only time can really do that.
 

boxermom

O.G.
Aug 26, 2006
27,084
591
North Carolina
Thank you! I am trying to be as supportive as possible. When I adopted our cat I made a promise to care for her forever. And when we broke up it was so hard to say goodbye to seeing her everyday. It helped prepare me for living without her. I know the pain he is going through. I just want to make it better and the most frustrating part is only time can really do that.


Ah yes, time..........and it passes so slowly at times like this.
 

Catsandbags

Member
Sep 18, 2013
1,376
0
NY
Hi guys! I think he has warmed up to the idea of another cat and is going to start looking for a new furry friend. I think it will really help give him closure (if that makes sense) after mourning and then being able to feel all the joys of rescuing a new little guy. Thanks for all of your help!
 

madamefifi

cat hoarder
O.G.
Aug 23, 2006
5,813
728
virginia
Hi guys! I think he has warmed up to the idea of another cat and is going to start looking for a new furry friend. I think it will really help give him closure (if that makes sense) after mourning and then being able to feel all the joys of rescuing a new little guy. Thanks for all of your help!

I've always thought that few things honor the memory of a furry friend like giving a warm, loving home to another animal in need (when you're ready). No kitty, dog, horse, etc. will ever replace the missing one in your heart but the love you will give and receive will help heal you.
 

jenny70

Member
Jul 4, 2007
3,423
24
50
At the Beauty Bar
I've always thought that few things honor the memory of a furry friend like giving a warm, loving home to another animal in need (when you're ready). No kitty, dog, horse, etc. will ever replace the missing one in your heart but the love you will give and receive will help heal you.

Yes, exactly!
 

Catsandbags

Member
Sep 18, 2013
1,376
0
NY
I've always thought that few things honor the memory of a furry friend like giving a warm, loving home to another animal in need (when you're ready). No kitty, dog, horse, etc. will ever replace the missing one in your heart but the love you will give and receive will help heal you.

Perfectly said!
 

Echoes

Member
Aug 8, 2008
10,401
8
I know it's going to be a while ... a good long while before I'm ready for another.

It isn't something that can be pushed by someone else.