Help a newbie choose H Scarf for gift

lalame

O.G.
Apr 30, 2011
2,696
15,176
Hello, I'm a total newbie to scarves but wanted to buy one as a birthday gift for a family member. I don't think she's a scarf afficionnado either so I wanted to buy something that is versatile/practical to give her the most wearability options. Aside from choosing what designs I think she might like, can anyone share advice on things like the most desirable/practical qualities of a scarf with regard to size, colors, patterns, etc? I know this is a hugely subjective question but I value your personal experience. It may kick off a new hobby for me too. :smile:

About my relative: older woman, professional and "executive" demeanor who likes to appear put-together in social settings but is generally a laid back person otherwise. She's doesn't dress very feminine - more practical or classics. She has a 20s something daughter who she could pass the scarf down to or allow to use so timeless qualities will be great.

Current top contender is the Objets de Curiosites 90 scarf.
 

AnnaLou

Member
Nov 14, 2022
149
483
Scarves can indeed be great with a "professional and executive" style, but a lot of women don't like them because if we are already an "older woman" they can make us look even older if not styled correctly. Scarves automatically have an "old lady" look to them, so you either need to be young or if you are "an old lady" you need to style it in a very fashionable way so that it makes it clear you know what you are doing and aren't just wearing old lady stuff.

Also, a lot of people feel like they are too much for them to wear personally and are uncomfortable with the billowing fabric and bright colors. Obviously they don't all have bright colors, but the excess fabric is a big deterrent for most people that I've talked to about wearing scarves. I used to wear them all the time and lots of people commented on them, saying that they liked them but "wouldn't personally wear them because [insert various answers here]." I quit wearing them myself several years ago because once I hit my mid-40s, I felt that they were starting to age me. I polled a few of my 20-something coworkers and they actually agreed. I had to laugh that they were so honest with me, but I haven't worn scarves on a regular basis since.

I always found that larger silk scarves were more versatile than smaller ones, although the small ones look very cute tied tightly to a young looking neck. I'm starting to get a little bit of turkey wattle now, so I wouldn't wear them that way anymore as it just draws attention to it. I think that folding them to look like a long thick necklace is a more youthful and less bulky way to wear them. They don't sit up under the neck (or try to obviously hide the neck), which can draw attention to an aging neckline. On the other hand, if she is already "of a certain age" and fully embraces it, then she could potentially rock a scarf ala Prue Leith.

Another consideration with wearing scarves is chest size. It can be harder to wear scarves if you have a larger chest, as this will of course, make the scarf stick out even further away from the body. Depending on how the scarf is styled, this can make the face look farther away (because the chest and scarf combine to create more bulk, setting the face farther back), and also can visually add pounds and general bulk to the upper half of the body. I'm a C-cup (mid-sized), and of average-to-smaller size weight-wise, but even only being a c-cup, created enough extra curve and bulk on my chest, that I found I had to be careful not to visually give myself added weight or an unattractive silhouette.

All that said, I have been thinking about digging them out and wearing them again. I'm 50 now and getting less interested in how old I look and more interested in wearing what makes me happy (not that I won't still do what I can do avoid looking any older if I can help it! lol).

But here I really have to ask, are you sure she will want a scarf or is it something you personally are interested in getting into? It's a lot of money to spend on a gift that you don't know will definitely be loved. I would think that by now, if she was going to wear scarves, she would have done so already.

Is there something that makes you think she would be interested in a scarf? Did you have a conversation about it? It seems random to me to get someone a scarf if they don't wear them already (especially as she's older and has her own style already), but there might be more to the story that I'm just not aware of. :smile:
 

AnnaLou

Member
Nov 14, 2022
149
483
One more thought, is that people who are not gift card people, are often the same people who would never return a gift, especially when someone put so much thought into it. It maybe adds more pressure to make sure the gift is truly liked so that the money isn't wasted and the person doesn't feel guilty that they won't use the gift.
 

lalame

O.G.
Apr 30, 2011
2,696
15,176
I also wanted to add that the Object de Curiosities would look amazing framed, if your family member didn't want to wear it. Many scarfies (including myself) buy some designs to display them.

I was actually thinking this too... in case she wasn't a scarf person, she might like to frame it. She has a lot of art around her home.
 

lalame

O.G.
Apr 30, 2011
2,696
15,176
Scarves can indeed be great with a "professional and executive" style, but a lot of women don't like them because if we are already an "older woman" they can make us look even older if not styled correctly. Scarves automatically have an "old lady" look to them, so you either need to be young or if you are "an old lady" you need to style it in a very fashionable way so that it makes it clear you know what you are doing and aren't just wearing old lady stuff.

Also, a lot of people feel like they are too much for them to wear personally and are uncomfortable with the billowing fabric and bright colors. Obviously they don't all have bright colors, but the excess fabric is a big deterrent for most people that I've talked to about wearing scarves. I used to wear them all the time and lots of people commented on them, saying that they liked them but "wouldn't personally wear them because [insert various answers here]." I quit wearing them myself several years ago because once I hit my mid-40s, I felt that they were starting to age me. I polled a few of my 20-something coworkers and they actually agreed. I had to laugh that they were so honest with me, but I haven't worn scarves on a regular basis since.

I always found that larger silk scarves were more versatile than smaller ones, although the small ones look very cute tied tightly to a young looking neck. I'm starting to get a little bit of turkey wattle now, so I wouldn't wear them that way anymore as it just draws attention to it. I think that folding them to look like a long thick necklace is a more youthful and less bulky way to wear them. They don't sit up under the neck (or try to obviously hide the neck), which can draw attention to an aging neckline. On the other hand, if she is already "of a certain age" and fully embraces it, then she could potentially rock a scarf ala Prue Leith.

Another consideration with wearing scarves is chest size. It can be harder to wear scarves if you have a larger chest, as this will of course, make the scarf stick out even further away from the body. Depending on how the scarf is styled, this can make the face look farther away (because the chest and scarf combine to create more bulk, setting the face farther back), and also can visually add pounds and general bulk to the upper half of the body. I'm a C-cup (mid-sized), and of average-to-smaller size weight-wise, but even only being a c-cup, created enough extra curve and bulk on my chest, that I found I had to be careful not to visually give myself added weight or an unattractive silhouette.

All that said, I have been thinking about digging them out and wearing them again. I'm 50 now and getting less interested in how old I look and more interested in wearing what makes me happy (not that I won't still do what I can do avoid looking any older if I can help it! lol).

But here I really have to ask, are you sure she will want a scarf or is it something you personally are interested in getting into? It's a lot of money to spend on a gift that you don't know will definitely be loved. I would think that by now, if she was going to wear scarves, she would have done so already.

Is there something that makes you think she would be interested in a scarf? Did you have a conversation about it? It seems random to me to get someone a scarf if they don't wear them already (especially as she's older and has her own style already), but there might be more to the story that I'm just not aware of. :smile:

Thank you for all the insight! I wanted to get her something classic and like a signature luxury item as I suspect she's never owned anything from Hermes but I think the brand totally fits her vibe. I was considering an Avalon throw, some entertaining platters, a Clic Clac bracelet, or scarf and my husband just felt the scarf could be more useful. I don't know if she does wear scarves as I don't see her all too often (we live far away) but I know she owns a few heritage investment pieces like a Cartier watch, Burberry trench, etc so I figure she invests in quality things that she can wear professionally. She's definitely not into purses and already up to her eyeballs in jewelry.
 
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