1. How to move on from a devastating heartbreak? We broke up 8 months ago after 5 years together and it was so hard but I was ok after time.

    Today my cell gets a text message from his new girlfriend and lots of strange calls. She must of found my contact info on his phone recently. I was doing so good, moving on, and now suddenly I find out he has a new girlfriend and I can't breathe.

    I changed my cell number immediately so she can't bother me again but the damage is done.

    It's been so long but knowing this fact is destroying me. He is a toxic person and I prayed that I would move on before him, but of course that did not happen. Now I cry for hours and probably days, I can't get images out of my head and it's killing me. I can't eat, and I am going crazy in my mind. I can barely type this, I don't know how to deal with this.

    Don't know what to do. :sad:
  2. ahhh, you poor thing.. why on earth did his new girlfriend phone you? Do you know her? You need to completely break all contact with him.
    Have you met anyone else since him? You need to write a list or have a chat with your friends to remember WHY you broke up and why you are better off without him because in the long run im sure you are. Let yourself cry and dont feel stupid for being upset. feel free to write to us and tell us all about how you feel..
  3. Sounds like a crazy man :weird: with a girl that fits him now... you are way better away from that kind of high school stuff :flowers: hang in there and you will be fine
  4. You say he's a toxic person. By getting upset about this, you are allowing him to control you. Don't waste another minute of energy on self loathing, he's not worth it.
  5. Ooof, I can't believe she's calling you. Why would she do that? Is she jealous that your info is still on his phone? I think you did the right thing by changing your number. It may seem extreme, but if it's what you need to block yourself out of this situation and get past him it's what's best. I hope you can get your life back together, breakups are hard, and I think we all experience the occasional breakdown because of them. Feel better, you know that time will help heal this, just try to ride it out as best you can!
    Oh, and just because he's seeing someone doesn't mean he's "moved on" first. I know I saw lots of people after my first major breakup, but I was far from moved on, I was a wreck. We all deal with loss in different ways, he's just trying to fill the gap you left behind with someone new, while you're doing the healthier thing by trying to get you back together before adding someone new to the picture. Forget about him, take care of yourself!
  6. ^ ditto @ Roo

    dont allow him to get under your skin. be strong! YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!
  7. Thank you so much for your responses to and to wonderful person with the PM. I moved on and I don't why this is happening and why I can't handle it. She must of checked his cell phone and found my info. I don't tolerate that kind of behavior, that is why within minutes, I changed my phone number. I have met men but nothing that interests me. I am NYC, and even though there is so many men, it's very tough. :sad:
  8. I agree, don't let him have power over you. He sounds very unhealthy and his girlfriend as well.
  9. Thank you so much Kezza, you words helped me. I 35 and can't deal with some woman calling me. I wish I could deal with this better. I am taking this way too hard but thank you for your words. :smile:
  10. That woman has no business calling and texting you! It reflects very poorly on your ex (presuming that he gave your no. to her) and for her to do such a thing. You should be proud of yourself that you're no longer with a toxic person. Its allright to face bumps along the road..some people take 2 months to get over a breakup while some take 2 years. Whatever it is, you will get there! Hang in there, you still have us! *hug*
  11. Thank you so much TrixX. (((HUGS BACK)))
  12. Don't be so hard on yourself Rachel. It isn't like you're having abnormal feelings right now. I know I would feel the same way you do. But don't loose yourself because of him. NOBODY is worth that much. Have faith in your strength, both mental and physical. It's hard now, but it will fade, and you'll eventually be able to laugh at his new girlfriend for being so childish. Just believe me, you'll be absolutely fine, and we're all here for your support. :smile:

    :heart: Emilio :smile:
  13. Oh that's horrible - I completely understand what you are going through. It has been 14 years since my last major break-up, and just last week I learned he finally married and to be honest it STILL took the wind out of my sails, at least for a day. And I'm happily married! Your reaction is perfectly normal and it will hurt no matter what a jerk he was, but you WILL move on and get past it, it will just hurt a little while longer. Just because he found someone else FIRST doesn't mean he found something GOOD (my old BF definitely had new relationships sooner than I did, and hearing that hurt too). What matters is finding something REAL. Something non-toxic. Finding true and lasting love. If he's toxic, he surely won't find that - don't think that he's better than you. Ever.

    For now you need to occupy your mind. Sure, you'll cry in the next few days. But also surround yourself with your friends and family. Talk about enjoyable things. Talk it through when you need to. Get their support - they love you. Plan your next vacation! See a funny movie. See TWO! It does get better, it's just hard to feel than when it's too hard to even breathe. *hugs to you *
  14. Forget about the crazy girlfriend calling you.. She is obviously insecure about your TOXIC ex boyfriend (it's easy to get caught up in). Yea, you know most men always move faster than women and what you don't know won't hurt you... but since you do know he moved on.. you need another positive way to look at it (the breakup). hmmmm... You already know that he's "toxic" and you know that he's always going to carry all those negative attributes to the next relationship... (it's called CHARACTER FLAWS). Plus you already realized that you deserve better. Keep away from negative people who take away from you.. they're draining and don't deserve to be a part of your life.

    And girl, you're in NYC, there's always another hottie, in fact plenty of hotties around the way and they're out and about especially now during the summertime!!!

    Getting over a 5 year relationship is tough... you go through all kinds of ups and downs for a minute. But if you stay focused to the reason as to why you don't want to be with him... it'll be easier as time goes on and then all of a sudden, a distant memory... (I'm speaking from experience--- i've been in a 5 year one myself and got over it (it took awhile) and i've been happier than I've ever been). Hang in there

    :flowers: :flowers:
  15. Agree 100 percent. You will get through this, and soon realize how much better your life is without him :smile: