having a problem...

  1. okay.
    i've been trying really hard to lose weight since my ex and i broke up. i was trying SO hard to do it in a healthy way, too. but i wasn't seeing results and got frustrated EXTREMELY quickly (such is just how i am).
    but the problem is i've started purging again. and it absolutely scares me to death, you guys. i spent 4 years struggling with this and i can't believe how it's creeped back into my life...
    has ANYBODY gone through this that can help me or understand? i mean, i'm so conflicted. part of me KNOWS it's not healthy, but the other part KNOWS it will work (temporarily) because i'm already down a few pounds because of it. i'm just scared that i'm going down that dangerous path again...but i can't seem to stop.
    am i just crazy? cause i think i might be cause i can't stop crying...
  2. I haven't been through this, but I just want you to know I care. Please go back to the steady slower weight loss. Your health is more important than how fast you can get pounds off. You're not crazy. You've had so much stress in your life, you're bound to feel down. Also, maybe hormones are acting up? (they can really mess with us)

    I'm sending good thoughts your way, Kallison. (((hugs)))
  3. Kallison,

    Please don't risk your health by losing weight via purging. If you're interested would you be able to see a nutritionist and counselor that would be covered by your health insurance to help? Hang in there and I'll be thinking of you. :smile:
  4. Kallison-- forgive this dumb question, but is purging the same thing as vomiting?

    If so, I totally agree with Eugin.

    From the pic on your avatar, you are verrrrrry pretty and should not do this horrible diservice to your body.
  5. Kallison,,,
    Please take a deep breath...the purging will only make things worse for you. Please go talk with a professional that can help you cope and sort through your feelings.

    I'm here for you!!
    Hugs :heart:
  6. Kallison, did you give up on your healthy eating plan? From the other thread you posted? You sounded so confident about that (in spite of your nasty little friend telling you it wouldn't work).
  7. Oh dear, please go back to your healthy eating plan as it is much more beneficial. This is a quick fix, you cannot go on purging forever, and when you stop, it'll only make things worse. It is an emotional thing, and self destructive, please try to be strong and realize that this will not help in any way or fix any emotional problems. This will only keep you in that same terrible state.
    We're here for you!
  8. I'm really sorry to hear this... you're not crazy! There's so much pressure in our society to be thin, it gets overwhelming and a lot of girls and women go through this. It's ok to be upset over it, the whole situation is so emotionally draining. I've been there and still struggle with it on and off. I know it's horrifying but somewhat gratifying(at the moment--you feel relieved, etc.). The main thing is to try to stay on track with a healthy eating plan. I can't give you much advice other than you just have to try to stop immediately, for your health and for your weight loss. It's a quick fix but in the long run it's just as destructive as overeating alone and you just have to tell yourself that. Sorry I can't offer much more than that, but I feel your pain and we're here for you!
  9. sometimes the hardest thing in life is knowing what the right thing to do is. luckily you already know what is good for you and your health and you also know how to loose weight the proper and lasting way. all you have to do now is take car of yourself and follow through. the rest will come in time. for me I will usually start to feel better once i take the first step in what i know is the right direction. dont let anyone make you second guess yourself or how you feel about yourself. the gang here will always support you.
  10. i think i let my friend get to me too much...it's like that little voice of "youre going to fail" got lodged into my mind.
    i started off SO determined and that's why it's absolutely killing me that i've failed, yet again...
    it just feels like something switched in my brain one day that this was my solution (albeit temporary). and that absolutely scares me to death that i've made purging my "solution".
    and i AM eating much healthier than i was a few weeks ago...but i'm just throwing up the healthy stuff now...

    i really do appreciate everybody's comments, more than you all will ever know. i just feel so defeated and i know i'm falling back into my depression pattern...i can just feel such a weight on me right now...and i honestly feel like i'm about to have a breakdown. i CAN'T go through all this crap again.
    and i hate talking to counselors. i'm a psych major here (ironic, i know) and i'm afraid of running into a counselor later on in my professional life. i know i'm paranoid...

  11. First, you haven't "failed", you had a setback. Second, your so-called friend isn't a friend and you need at the very least, to take a break from her. You are struggling enough without someone trying to sabatoge your hard work.

    Psych majors go to counselors, counselors go to counselors. There's no shame in that. We ALL have issues we need to work on. It sounds like you have a history of depression and NEED to go see a counselor, possibly get on some anti-depressants for a while as well, so go to your university's counseling services, pronto.

    Don't beat yourself up over all this, kallison. You'll be OK. Just believe in yourself and get some help. If you don't I'll clobber you with my Prada Golden Goose when I see you in Charlotte! :devil:
  12. somehow i could see you actually doing that...lol.

    and i understand what you're saying, and i DO agree...but i just can't seem to find the motivation to get to counseling. i had BAD experiences the last two times i tried it out...
    god, i hate this.
  13. Kallison, Prada makes a lot of sense. Don't let anyone (including yourself) sabotage your healthy living plan. It can be discouraging trying to find a good counselor--I've been to my share of bad ones. But when you find the right one, it's wonderful. (As far as a psych. major going to a counselor, why not? you will have more background to help others with your experience. I have a M.S.Ed. in counseling ed. and I've been to several counselors)

    Do you have a friend or relative you can call when you're starting to feel out of control? Or come on here, like you did. Someone's always here to support you. :heart:
  14. thanks so much.
    it just seems like i've already had my fair share of counseling to add to my experience...i'm so sick of having this "experience".
    you guys are pretty much all i have right now and i'm on incessantly. it's not that i don't have friends irl...it's just that they don't really want to hear me complain, you know?
  15. I know what you mean--it's draining. Come here and complain, but then make the choice to be good to yourself. You are beautiful--I wish you could see that for yourself.

    Good luck!!!

    p.s. maybe you (and we) can brainstorm some ways to lessen the stress you are under, whether it's from within or your real life circumstances right now. time for me to go to bed, but I'll be on tomorrow and I know others will, also.