Have you continued on with something where you were unhappy?

bubbleliciousis

bubbleliciousis

O.G.
Nov 8, 2006
2,587
0
#1
Have you ever done or continued doing something like staying in a job,school,situation (not relationships) where you were somewhere between not happy to unhappy doing so?

But you decided to see it through even though it was making you happy?

how did you get through it?

Did you tell yourself that there was a greater good at the end of the line even though you didn't know if that was true? Did you just decide to suck it up and get it done and over with?

i'm in a rut and i'm hoping to get some perspectives to help me through something that right now seems meaningless and is not making me happy at all but i'm too scared to walk away from it because the consequences would be huge....

i'm feeling stuck.....
 
#2
Girl, I'm in the biggest rut possible. I don't know how to get out of it. I too, feel stuck. I feel like I have so many transitions going on at the same time and I can't do anything about it until I graduate in December. Life sucks so bad right now. It's taking all I have just to get through each minute of the day. I have no advice to offer but you are not alone my dear!
 
#3
I've done it before I had a job I wanted to leave but stayed as I knew it'd be for the short term anyway however the short term got longer and longer & I should have left when I had the chance

The next job I had I knew on the first day I hated it I said to myself just give it a chance when I burst into tears in starbucks I knew it was time to go I lasted 3 weeks but it was the worst 3 weeks

I think you have to weigh up your option but not be afraid you can't do what makes yu unhappy it's bad for your mental health which I believe longterm is bad for your total health
 
#4
i stayed at a job longer than i planned, i decided i wanted to get my dental work done...then i decided i would get pregnant and use maternity leave. i made it work to my advantage, so that is why i stayed. not good career advice, but knowing i had other reasons to stay helped me get through the long days.
 
#5
hey Label Addict and Guccimamma,

thanks for sharing....

I've stayed in jobs i wasn't happy at ... but yes i did ultimately leave because like you said Label Addict, it takes a toll on your emotional, mental and physical health...

This time it's a little different... It's just for 2 years... (i say just even though the last month has felt horrible)....
I am scared to walk away Label addict. Because staying would be the safer thing to do.... if i stick through with this, despite being unhappy, i'll get additional credentials and greater credibility.... i stay - i get my credentials and be unhappy. If i leave, i find myself in a weird position of having to explain to potential empoyers the short stint on my resume.

I just spoke to my dad.... I vaguely mentioned my frustration at how alot of what i'm doing doesn't make sense... he just said, well alot of times things don't make sense but if you want it you just have to do so as prescribed. i don't get the sense that he thinks i should walk away. he just talked about finding a permanent place that 's safe.

after i hung up, i was like, uhm yeah maybe that makes sense. can't have everything make sense, sometimes you have to do it someone else's way and get through the pain if you want to get the end goal....

i guess i just feel like i'm not convinced what i'm doing improves my skills and i don't see the end goal clearly. I know what i'd like the end goal to be ideally but wiuth my crappy luck i don't think ideally is going to happen....

but i guess i'm going through the less than exciting process just so i can maximize the chances of the ideal outcome?

Sorry i'm rambling gals... i'm keep on trying to talk myself into staying on... (bad sign i know) it's just less controversial .... even though it doesn't make me happy..... :confused1::shrugs::supacool:
 
#7
I think everybody does that at some point or points, for a while, anyway. But as for "seeing it through," if what you are seeing through is your own unhappiness, consider this:

Life is short, and life is uncertain, and is liable to throw you enough things that you have no choice about whether to stay or go - like injury, or illness.

And life is also going to present you with plenty of things that make you unhappy that you have no control over whatsoever. If you don't believe me, just watch five minutes of any news show.

If a situation is making you UN-happy, it is kind of like that old saying about having enough sense to come in out of the rain.

Come in out of the unhappiness.
 
#8
I've stayed at a job I was unhappy at (more than one actually) and then when I finally quit looked back and wondered why the hell I stayed so long! I got really sick of school but I knew I'd be done one day.

So it depends upon the level of how unhappy you are and whether it will eventually change. If it won't change and you are very unhappy, you need to find a way out.
 
#9
I should add that it is important to distinguish between putting up with some hardship for a finite period in order to effect the certain achievement of a desired goal, especially one with a high probability of resulting in your receiving a desired benefit.

For example, if you want to be a nurse, but the teachers at the nursing school are *****es, the cafeteria food sucks, and the only school you could afford is located in a place where it rains all the time, plus your room is painted a horrible color that might have been merely ugly industrial green back when the hissing radiators were new, but if you can stick it out, you WILL get that nursing ticket punched and you WILL be able to get started on the career you want, that is one thing.

If, however, you are working at a job that you dislike intensely, and are sticking it out because you cherish some illusion that if you do this for just five or six more years, you might get a promotion that will involve two dollars more an hour, despite the fact that your desk is located in a roomful of women, many of whom have been there for decades, and none of whom receives a salary whose purchasing power is greater than what she got when she started, then that is quite another thing.

It should not be necessary to discuss relationships at all. Love is supposed to make you happy. If it is not doing that, guess what!
 
#10
Concentrate on the end result. But of course we don't want to be IN THE PROCESS of doing something that makes us unhappy. So in order to get through it, use distractions or keep up a 'glass half full' attitude.
 
#11
I have. I think most people do out of fear or hope. Fear that they will be doing the wrong thing if they walk away from a situation or hope that the situation will change. I've stuck things out as long as I could but have never had any qualms over leaving a situation and never any regrets. Sometimes you gotta take a blind leap of faith. If you are unbearably unhappy the alternative can't be that bad. Life is all about constant change. If you don't make changes, life will do it for you eventually and not always the way you expect or like. You can't control everything but you can take charge and say "no more" where it is reasonable to do so. JMO.:smile:
 
#12
ShimmaPuff said:
I should add that it is important to distinguish between putting up with some hardship for a finite period in order to effect the certain achievement of a desired goal, especially one with a high probability of resulting in your receiving a desired benefit.

For example, if you want to be a nurse, but the teachers at the nursing school are *****es, the cafeteria food sucks, and the only school you could afford is located in a place where it rains all the time, plus your room is painted a horrible color that might have been merely ugly industrial green back when the hissing radiators were new, but if you can stick it out, you WILL get that nursing ticket punched and you WILL be able to get started on the career you want, that is one thing.

If, however, you are working at a job that you dislike intensely, and are sticking it out because you cherish some illusion that if you do this for just five or six more years, you might get a promotion that will involve two dollars more an hour, despite the fact that your desk is located in a roomful of women, many of whom have been there for decades, and none of whom receives a salary whose purchasing power is greater than what she got when she started, then that is quite another thing.

It should not be necessary to discuss relationships at all. Love is supposed to make you happy. If it is not doing that, guess what!
Click to expand...

What she said;) Much of what we have to do is to just jump through hoops to get a credential so that someone doesn't throw away our resume. But once you have the credential, it's yours, no one can take it away from you and you never have to look back at the place where you are at. I was turned down for a position with the state-even though they knew I didn't have a phd, but the experience of a phd.

That's when I made a choice of what hoops I want to jump through. I always considered a phd, but my job prospects would lead me away from working directly with people, which I love. Now, I've made another long-term career move, and its a very long road, but I'm willing to pay the price and jump through the hoops because the end result will be greater than the "crap" I'll have top put up with.

I think putting things in perspective is great. There is an end to this, so try to entertain and distract yourself, and take care of yourself because your end result will be greater than the unhappiness you have now. Short term pain, for long-term gain. Start volunteering, or corresponding in the areas that this credential will get you in, and time will fly by. Lots of hugs and prayers to you.:heart:
 
#13
I'm unclear if we are talking your job or your schooling. Since schooling is generally short term, I would say stick it out. If it's a job or apprenticehip, then analyse your situation (per ShimmaPuff's post). If it is something you can bear that will help advance you in your chosen path, and it's only for a little while, then perhaps stick it out. Otherwise consider if you have enough of a safety net that you could survive for a couple of months while you get on your feet doing something else. If not, get busy and save some money!
 
#14
I know what you mean-I studied something I did not like and didn`t give up- and failed in the end. Then, years later I had a secure job in the city I loved (London) but somehow felt that it was not right, and started to feel really unhappy, I had to face the fact that I couldn`t go on like that. So I looked for a new job, got it, and recently moved back to Germany for that very interesting position.
From what I learned I can only say it is most important (at least for me) to consider the options and think hard why one is doing something. Make a plan and see if to change the job (or whatever bad situation one is in) and have a chance of happiness is worth the risk. For me it is so important to be in control of my own life and make an active decision for or against something- than I am more able to cope with things and distance myself from feeling badly. I hope that makes sense- I have a lot going on and have to cope with many things, but this helps me to go through it.
Many people are in situations like that-we are just all showing a smiling face!
 
#15
JAN! said:
Concentrate on the end result. But of course we don't want to be IN THE PROCESS of doing something that makes us unhappy. So in order to get through it, use distractions or keep up a 'glass half full' attitude.
Click to expand...


Hi everyone, reading all the posts is making me feel torn between whether to quit my job or not.

Here's the thing: I'm currently in my first yr of law degree and was working as a sales rep. One of my mom's friends referred me to working in a law small firm. I was very excited because i thought it would be a great opportunity. However, now that i've worked there for a month, its not how i had imagined. Not to mention the pay is not good. I'm thinking about leaving, but it seems too soon. I wanna give it a chance, but somehow i can think of so many reasons/excuses to leave. My mom wants me to stay and keeps telling me I have to stay to get experience to get a better job later. I just dont know what to do!
Because it is my first yr of law, I can't really put much of my knowledge to the work anyway, and one of the lawyers there is VERY INTIMIDATING and i feel so nervous every time she asks me to do something cos i'm so scared of making mistakes. :cursing:

All i'm thinking of is my future, although i really dont like this job. I also have less money now.. have to really limit myself from buying purses and going shopping... which would make anyone sad. :crybaby:
SHould i get another job to get more money and save and then get a job relating to my field of work for experience? Or should i stay here now cos not many firms hire ppl with no experience even though pay is bad?
 
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