Hatred of the Out Laws - do you have one?!?

#31
oh wow KK, based on what you wrote, on expired food and etc..that is REALLY weird...did you talk to your husband about this?
just hope things get better for you, is your husband her only son? sometimes, most Asian MILs really cling on hard to their only sons especially and resent their Daughter in laws as they think that they're 'losing' their son to the wife..(not all though :smile: )
 
#32
The KK said:
My best revenge is not to allow this old hag to see her son's children, I am the mother of these children after all.

Any stories to share with me so I don't feel so miserable?:s
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You are PROTECTING your children from her evil treatment. Don't let her have access to them for one minute.


We each only get one life. My time is very precious. I do lots of volunteer work. One must earn access to my time by treating me and my family VERY well.

Stand your ground, Girl!
 
#33
If this is happening, why would your husband allow his mom to feed them expired food? Its one thing to defend yourself - its another to use the kids to do it. Who cares who she says they look like. You need to learn, for your own sanity, what to consider inconsequential. And I HAVE been there - and even at my MIL advanced age there are lessons to learn. The one thing I didn't do was punish my children in order to teach her a lesson. What does she say to turn them against you? Just curious.
 
#35
and once my son dropped a macaroni on the floor, she picked it up and put it in his mouth.
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Your son will not die from eating a piece of food that has been dropped on the floor....It's not that big of a deal.

...To me, it sounds like the big problem that you are having is you. Sure, if she was a miserable ***** for the past 20 years (how old are you anyway???) then I can understand that you two may not have the best relationship...But if she is now making a genuine effort to patch up the relationship - then I say you need to grow up and act like an adult. What does your husband say to all of this?? Is it okay with him that you are keeping his (they're not only your children) away from his mother???
 
#37
Wow-I had the most wonderful inlaws that a person could ever want, sadly they passed away way and did not get to know my children.
On the other hand one of my friends had the Mother In Law from hell and her husband was a mama's boy. This woman made my friend's life a living nightmare. Horror stories of what she did.....so I can relate to someone just cutting ties and not letting children be a part of verbal abuse or any toxic relationship. It sounds like there is a lot of anger but there may be a good reason for the anger and for your health it is better to let go of the anger and concentrate on living your life and do what you feel is best. Just because someone may be trying to get back in your life or even ask to do it does not mean you have to allow that person back in.
 
#39
Very True, out of sight out of mind. I like it.

This woman has put on a show and forked out to pay for our entire wedding reception in front of many friends and family. As soon as we arrived to our honeymoon destination, my husband called to her here that we arrived safely, one of the first things she said was that she wants all the money back for the wedding when we returned. She put on such a show for everyone. We didn't need her money, we had out check books ready.

Earlier in our relationship, I always brought over pastries or a box of chocolate on special occasions and even gifts on her birthday. She opens it up and offered it to everyone and always left me. Not once has she ever offered me a thing. Or she will say in front of everyone the stuff I bring over is CHEAP and not once in this 20 years has she given me a thing. Perhpaps only that I stole her son away from her. An no, he has 2 sisters and 1 brother.

As for the expired food she gives my children, this woman is a pack rack and never throws out a thing but always try to give it to us. My husband was not aware of it because he didn't know everything now has expiry dates.

Again, thanks for who has great advices and those who is trying to attack me, when you never know what will happen to you.
 
#40
Until I met my MIL, I never realized that such a horrible person could possibly exist. She is beyond all comprehension, and it sounds like yours is too. Sometimes people who have never had to deal with a completely unreasonable person are quick to criticize how others handle the situation.

Everyone who knows my MIL sympathizes with one another. We kind of have a support group for after-visits. I've put up with her for 13 years, both of my sisters-in-law have been around for 16-17 years, her own brother, sister and kids don't care to be around her. Even her grandkids (all under the age of 8) avoid her because she's so dang mean. When people criticize us, I ignore them. Their few minutes of looking in from the outside doesn't give them the right to pass judgement on us. They haven't had to put up with all the abuse we've had to over the years. I ignore and avoid her as much as possible.
 
#41
lamiastella said:
Your son will not die from eating a piece of food that has been dropped on the floor....It's not that big of a deal.

SO you woud let YOUR child eat something from the floor? To me, personal cleaniness is so important mostly when you have little ones. That is just so disgusting giving a child something that has dropped on the floor!

...To me, it sounds like the big problem that you are having is you. Sure, if she was a miserable ***** for the past 20 years (how old are you anyway???) then I can understand that you two may not have the best relationship...But if she is now making a genuine effort to patch up the relationship - then I say you need to grow up and act like an adult. What does your husband say to all of this?? Is it okay with him that you are keeping his (they're not only your children) away from his mother???
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Being just a little harsh?! SOmetimes we will never understand what it feels like to be in a certain situation. Who knows, you might end up in the same situation and not know who to confide in or what to do. Thank goodness for this forum!
monica
 
#42
Thanks Monica for your support.

Your son will not die from eating a piece of food that has been dropped on the floor....It's not that big of a deal.

And you are expecting a child of your own, good luck to this child.

It is just disgusting to eat anything knowing it has been on the floor or anywhere that is not clean. That is one of the many reasons why I despise this old lady. What kind of normal grandmother would give her grandson food from the floor.

...To me, it sounds like the big problem that you are having is you. Sure, if she was a miserable ***** for the past 20 years (how old are you anyway???) then I can understand that you two may not have the best relationship...But if she is now making a genuine effort to patch up the relationship - then I say you need to grow up and act like an adult. What does your husband say to all of this?? Is it okay with him that you are keeping his (they're not only your children) away from his mother???

You never know what can happen to you so don't be so judgemental. She has done so much damage to me that I can not forgive nor forget.

Thanks again Monica!
 
#43
Until I met my MIL, I never realized that such a horrible person could possibly exist. She is beyond all comprehension, and it sounds like yours is too. Sometimes people who have never had to deal with a completely unreasonable person are quick to criticize how others handle the situation.

Everyone who knows my MIL sympathizes with one another. We kind of have a support group for after-visits. I've put up with her for 13 years, both of my sisters-in-law have been around for 16-17 years, her own brother, sister and kids don't care to be around her. Even her grandkids (all under the age of 8) avoid her because she's so dang mean. When people criticize us, I ignore them. Their few minutes of looking in from the outside doesn't give them the right to pass judgement on us. They haven't had to put up with all the abuse we've had to over the years. I ignore and avoid her as much as possible.


DLG, Thanks for your support. True when people are not in the situation, they right away assume we are the trouble makers. Well, you never know what can happen to them in life so again, don't me so judgemental to others.
 
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