Has anyone else gone through this?
- Thread starter luxurista
- Start date
I should have never mentioned that I live at home because no one here even knows why...and that is something that I just will not get into here. But anyways, I am not entirely supported by my parents...I pay for everything on my own and never ask them for a penny. The only thing that my dad supports me in is letting me live at home, but other than that I pay for everything else.
Luxurista, if you post on a forum, you're obviously going to get people with different view points. Even if you think you asked a very narrow question, others are going to see it differently. And in reading your posts, you actually asked some very open-ended questions, which invites discussion.
I think Allison nailed it on why your parents are upset and about saving your money. You say that you pay for all of your bills. Rent/mortgage is generally most people's biggest bill, and you don't have that. So that's something your parents have given you. Do you pay for any utilities at your parents' house, food, household items, etc.?
Regardless why you're living at home, at 22, you're old enough to have some long-term financial goals. Nobody is suggesting that you put every extra penny away for retirement, and it's excellent that you are paying some bills. But perhaps your parents are apprehensive because your spending habits are still showing a lack of fiscal maturity.
I think Allison nailed it on why your parents are upset and about saving your money. You say that you pay for all of your bills. Rent/mortgage is generally most people's biggest bill, and you don't have that. So that's something your parents have given you. Do you pay for any utilities at your parents' house, food, household items, etc.?
Regardless why you're living at home, at 22, you're old enough to have some long-term financial goals. Nobody is suggesting that you put every extra penny away for retirement, and it's excellent that you are paying some bills. But perhaps your parents are apprehensive because your spending habits are still showing a lack of fiscal maturity.
Another thought (and certainly not to beat a dead horse nor is this meant as a criticism)--if you are living at home, you might consider paying at least nominal rent, just as a gesture of appreciation to your parents. When I was first in med school, I had to live at home for 2 years--I simply could not hack paying $1800/month in rent for an apartment I was almost never in (since I was in the library), especially as I had $100K+ in student loans and fees accruing annually.
That said, I paid my parents $400/month--this is next to nothing compared to rent + utilities in Boston, but it covered my utility use and food and things like that. I know they really appreciated it, because they knew I wasn't taking them for granted. My parents definitely don't need the $$, and they ended up giving it all back to me (plus interest) when I moved out (my dad had put it all into a separate account). But I know they looked favorably on this as a means for me to demonstrate that I was responsible, and willing to pay rent (just not $1800+/month in rent!).
If you are contributing to the household, luxury purchases may be viewed differently by both you and your parents.
That said, I paid my parents $400/month--this is next to nothing compared to rent + utilities in Boston, but it covered my utility use and food and things like that. I know they really appreciated it, because they knew I wasn't taking them for granted. My parents definitely don't need the $$, and they ended up giving it all back to me (plus interest) when I moved out (my dad had put it all into a separate account). But I know they looked favorably on this as a means for me to demonstrate that I was responsible, and willing to pay rent (just not $1800+/month in rent!).
If you are contributing to the household, luxury purchases may be viewed differently by both you and your parents.
Wow, everyone here is kicking your butt and I think it's quite ignorant, actually.
I'm in my early 20's and live at home as well. My parents are amazing, we've had some hard times and basically, I don't pay rent and am saving my money.
I graduated college, I have a full time job and am working towards goals of my own.
Honestly, don't let ANYONE here tell you what is "appropriate" in your life. These people don't know you and their opinion is moot.
Maybe we're in the same situation and maybe we're not, I don't know. I personally buy designer handbags. Do I buy Chanel yet? No. But that is my personal choice. I WILL drop 600 on a bag every once in awhile. If I saved up for 6 months and decided to get a Chanel instead of buying a couple $600 bags, would I feel bad about myself? NO WAY.
In my opinion though, I'm in my early 20's and I want to have something to look forward to and Chanel and Hermes are top of the top. What am I going to be looking forward to later on?
So basically, you have to feel good about yourself and don't let these ladies tell you anything about how you should be living and/or spending your money. It's silly. Follow your gut! If you feel guilty about it, there is probably a reason and then don't do it. If you don't, go for it and see how you feel! It's a one time deal and you'll see how you feel about yourself then. Goodluck!
I'm in my early 20's and live at home as well. My parents are amazing, we've had some hard times and basically, I don't pay rent and am saving my money.
I graduated college, I have a full time job and am working towards goals of my own.
Honestly, don't let ANYONE here tell you what is "appropriate" in your life. These people don't know you and their opinion is moot.
Maybe we're in the same situation and maybe we're not, I don't know. I personally buy designer handbags. Do I buy Chanel yet? No. But that is my personal choice. I WILL drop 600 on a bag every once in awhile. If I saved up for 6 months and decided to get a Chanel instead of buying a couple $600 bags, would I feel bad about myself? NO WAY.
In my opinion though, I'm in my early 20's and I want to have something to look forward to and Chanel and Hermes are top of the top. What am I going to be looking forward to later on?
So basically, you have to feel good about yourself and don't let these ladies tell you anything about how you should be living and/or spending your money. It's silly. Follow your gut! If you feel guilty about it, there is probably a reason and then don't do it. If you don't, go for it and see how you feel! It's a one time deal and you'll see how you feel about yourself then. Goodluck!
Yes, but she ASKED for opinions. And if she didn't feel bad about it on some level, she wouldn't have posted the little fine print comments that she did.
We are in, IMO, a crisis in the country with the amount of consumer debt we have. I can only imagine where I would be right now if I had thought it was ok to buy a $2k bag at 22.
I live at home as well with my parents and I don't pay rent. I would if they asked me to, but for right now I pay for everything else myself. I'm actually in a weird situation because my parents almost expect me to live at home until I'm married. I know, kind of strange right? But that's probably pretty typical of Asian households. Given where I live, the housing cost is just sky-high and it would be really hard for anyone who recently graduated to buy a house of their own without their parents' help or taking out a ridiculous loan. To me, it makes much more sense to save up money to buy a house instead of spending it on rent (for now anyway... who knows when I'll get tired of living at home? lol).
Having said all that though, it does not mean I don't splurge every once in awhile on things I really want. I do believe in enjoying life when we're young. If I was in your situation, I would save up for more than $2000 and then buy the bag if you really, really want it. That way, after taking the $2k hit, you'll still have money left over for investment, emergencies, etc.
Having said all that though, it does not mean I don't splurge every once in awhile on things I really want. I do believe in enjoying life when we're young. If I was in your situation, I would save up for more than $2000 and then buy the bag if you really, really want it. That way, after taking the $2k hit, you'll still have money left over for investment, emergencies, etc.
Here's what I don't understand about the young women in this thread who have all kind of excuses as to why they live at home with their parents... You gals speak as if that's the only way to do it. Excuses made include: it's prohibitively expensive to live in your area, it's so hard to save up for a house while paying rent, your parents don't mind, you pay all your other bills, etc.
People make it happen: they live in expensive cities, like mine, and pay rent yet also manage to save up for a house, they pay their other bills on top of rent, their parents may not mind having their grown children living with them, etc... but they still live independently from their parents (and manage to save for designer bags!).
I guess whatever is considered "the norm" varies from person to person. However, most people do not live with their folks past age 18. There's nothing wrong if you choose to live with your parents, but the reasons listed seem kind of moot to me.
^ And IF the excuses/reasons for living at home are financial ones, why splurge on expensive bags?
To the OP, I hope you're taking some of the great advice that you're getting in these comments, even if they aren't the ones you were looking for. I agree that you must not feel 100% comfortable if you came here asking opinions on your situation (opinions, not validation). Please don't be upset that you're not just getting "go for it!" as a response. The decision is, ultimately, up to you.
To the OP, I hope you're taking some of the great advice that you're getting in these comments, even if they aren't the ones you were looking for. I agree that you must not feel 100% comfortable if you came here asking opinions on your situation (opinions, not validation). Please don't be upset that you're not just getting "go for it!" as a response. The decision is, ultimately, up to you.
I usually tend to keep my comments to myself when it comes to non-handbag type concerns on this forum, but I really can't this time.
I kind of get a hint of jealousy here maybe? I say this with all due respect but it seems that maybe the people who are talking about moving out, etc. as if they actually know anyone's situation were the ones who were forced out and/or just didn't want to be at home. There is no fault in that at all, but the fact that you are considering the "norm" to be moving out at 18 is blatantly incorrect.
More and more people are living at home. The REASONS most people have are not EXCUSES and you pretending they are is stereotypical and plain ignorant and can lead up to mean.
Where is it written in a handbook somewhere that you can only buy expensive designer handbags if you follow some magical guidelines and stipulations?
This is wrong. And I am sorry if you are so jaded to think there is.
I kind of get a hint of jealousy here maybe? I say this with all due respect but it seems that maybe the people who are talking about moving out, etc. as if they actually know anyone's situation were the ones who were forced out and/or just didn't want to be at home. There is no fault in that at all, but the fact that you are considering the "norm" to be moving out at 18 is blatantly incorrect.
More and more people are living at home. The REASONS most people have are not EXCUSES and you pretending they are is stereotypical and plain ignorant and can lead up to mean.
Where is it written in a handbook somewhere that you can only buy expensive designer handbags if you follow some magical guidelines and stipulations?
This is wrong. And I am sorry if you are so jaded to think there is.
Another thought (and certainly not to beat a dead horse nor is this meant as a criticism)--if you are living at home, you might consider paying at least nominal rent, just as a gesture of appreciation to your parents. When I was first in med school, I had to live at home for 2 years--I simply could not hack paying $1800/month in rent for an apartment I was almost never in (since I was in the library), especially as I had $100K+ in student loans and fees accruing annually.
That said, I paid my parents $400/month--this is next to nothing compared to rent + utilities in Boston, but it covered my utility use and food and things like that. I know they really appreciated it, because they knew I wasn't taking them for granted. My parents definitely don't need the $$, and they ended up giving it all back to me (plus interest) when I moved out (my dad had put it all into a separate account). But I know they looked favorably on this as a means for me to demonstrate that I was responsible, and willing to pay rent (just not $1800+/month in rent!).
If you are contributing to the household, luxury purchases may be viewed differently by both you and your parents.
I remember those days! I wondered why I just didn't move into the the call room as I definitely spent way more time in the hospital than I did in my little apartment. But rent was super cheap since I had a bunch of roommates that were also med students and residents, and no one was ever home anyways.
But regarding the original post, I spent my 20's working and saving and I don't think I even owned a purse (just a battered old Jansport covered in hospital germs). But it was actually a great time to focus on goals, self growth and relationships with family and friends. Then you can focus on luxury aquisition guilt free when you are completely financially independent.
Rachieface,
Why in the world would anyone be jealous? That's bizarre -- I have zero desire to live in my parents' house on their dime.
As I said, what is normal varies from person to person. I literally do not know a single person who lives at home past age 18. All my friends went away to college, then found jobs and moved into their own apartments.
Again, I'm not saying anything is wrong with living at home. But if I were living at home, I would have to have a better reason than merely not wanting to pay rent or that my parents don't mind.
Why in the world would anyone be jealous? That's bizarre -- I have zero desire to live in my parents' house on their dime.
As I said, what is normal varies from person to person. I literally do not know a single person who lives at home past age 18. All my friends went away to college, then found jobs and moved into their own apartments.
Again, I'm not saying anything is wrong with living at home. But if I were living at home, I would have to have a better reason than merely not wanting to pay rent or that my parents don't mind.