Grown stepdaughter insecure of new baby

LabelLover81

Peace Love & Purses
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Mar 5, 2010
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Virginia
My husband and I are expecting our first child together. He has a 22 year old daughter from a previous relationship (not marriage). He never lived with his daughter full time and when she was 5 years old, her mother moved her an 8 hour drive away. I have been with her dad since she was 12.
My husband has always been close to her, more like a cool dad who understands than anything else. Her mother married some guy, they had three children together, and my stepdaughter was always treated as a full part of their family. She would come visit me and my husband about once a year even though he always offered to have her down at least 6 times a year. Whenever she comes, my husband takes her wherever she wants, she gas no chores, and it's basically her world. But she ends up crying about how she misses her family. From what I can tell, she mostly uses my husband as an ATM machine. But I keep my opinions to myself.
I'm in my second trimester of pregnancy. And all of a sudden she's become kinda clingy. She texts him all day, calls him at night, makes FB collages of pics of the two of them. One time she even told him "I hope it's a boy so I can stay Daddy's Little Girl". She's even said she wants to go on a trip with just him this summer. She's never expressed this much of an interest in him before, and he always invites her on our vacations (paris, Aruba, Dublin, etc) and she's always declined.
I am totally annoyed by this behavior. My husband is happy about it of course because the daughter that kind of ignored him for 22 years is now coming around. I told him it's because he's having a child but he says that's not true. Not sure why, but it's just annoying the crap out of me!
Anyway, if you're going to comment I should just get over it, don't bother. I just needed to vent.
 

Maice

HIME
Mar 5, 2013
4,631
21
United States
No, I'm not going to tell you to get over it :biggrin: I just wanted to say that the behavior of your stepdaughter is bizarre for a 22 - year-old.
 

Kbryan3

Member
May 10, 2014
41
0
Very kid like behavior for a grown woman in my opinion. Good luck in your pregnancy and congratulations!! Don't let her ruin your beautiful time
 

skislope15

Member
Aug 11, 2010
3,296
19
Maybe your step daughter is trying to protect her inheritance, from the trips you take it sounds like you and
Your husband do well for yourself maybe your SD is thinking that there will be less money for her when the new baby comes. My 12 year old stepson has done something similar since I gave birth 3 weeks ago, he's all of the sudden concerned about the amount of money we spent to buy her stuff and wants to know why he's not getting the equivalent spent on him.
 

littlerock

Love is Love is Love
Admin
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Apr 19, 2007
21,585
107
In the moment
Totally bizarre for a 22 y/o. I can understand this behavior from a kid or someone in their teens but 22? She should be busy with college, or work, friends.. boyfriends. Usually parents are the furthest thing from a 22 y/o's mind. JMO.
 

yajaira

Member
Jul 13, 2010
1,311
83
Vermont
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Yes that woman is a bit strange sounds like maybe she has insecurity problems As the very paranoid person that I am ,I would be very "observant" once the baby is born and she is there
 

flowerboy

O.G.
Jan 30, 2007
638
51
I don't think it's that abnormal. How is her relationship with her own family. One you are having a child so sibling rivalry is coming into play and two she's 22 so probably in that college adult hood phase which is a scary time. I know it's creepy what she is doing but she knows what she is doing and your husband is feeling guilty. Difficult situation. Anyways my advise is to concentrate on your own child, show your dh some extra love and attention, make him involved as much as you can and praise him. You can Vent all you want here. Good luck
 
Nov 16, 2007
6,461
28
OR
She seems like a 13 year old based on your description...

Not a psychologist but to me (based on your account) she seems emotionally stunted. Maybe an effect of split-up parents and bouncing back and forth?

Maybe she's seen the ramifications of new babies (her mother had more, right?) and is worried what will happen now that she's not the only child at Dad's.

Either way, she should seek some counseling, have an honest and OPEN conversation with her Dad, and GROW UP.
 

lulilu

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Mar 28, 2006
24,991
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iiving the dream
sorry you are dealing with this when you should be relaxed as happy (as much as possible). you have been nothing but generous and this is very weird behavior indeed. as someone else said, give DH more attention and don't critique the girl (he may become even more defensive). good grief for a 22 year old.
 

LabelLover81

Peace Love & Purses
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Mar 5, 2010
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Virginia
sorry you are dealing with this when you should be relaxed as happy (as much as possible). you have been nothing but generous and this is very weird behavior indeed. as someone else said, give DH more attention and don't critique the girl (he may become even more defensive). good grief for a 22 year old.
I know right! When she graduated from high school my husband and I gave her a lovely little Movado watch and she asked my husband for the receipt so she could just spend the cash as she pleased cause she would "never wear a watch".