I finally caved and made an appt with a Seattle fertility clinic. I don't go in until January 10th. I figured I need to just make the appt so I am motivated toward being more proactive. But it still kind of sucked. It has been two years and I am about to turn 35. Time to just give in I guess. Even though I could still conceive this weekend, but you know, I am at this point resigned to failure (still trying though of course -- I had the perfect cervical fluid for the past two days). Anyway, ten minutes after I get off the phone, husband walks in to tell me that a couple we know had their baby yesterday. "Oh," I said. "Good for them." Blank stare. I feel like an a-hole but even though they have been friends of ours for years, I cannot muster up any happiness for them. Sorry. I just don't feel anything.