Ghosts

hermes_lemming

my little etoupe
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May 5, 2006
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Is it possible for a deceased spirit to return at a younger age?

I'm asking because my beau's brother passed prematurely around 6 months ago. I believe he was 60+ yrs at the time.

Fast forward to today. His mom who suffers from slight dementia and has to undergo dialysis is now suddenly saying she sees a 8 yr old boy who claims she is his mother.

No one can figure out if this is the spirit of the deceased or she is hallucinating. And she is upset because she is convinced there is an 8 yr old boy wandering around by himself.

Anyone?
 

Cinderelie74

Member
Oct 16, 2014
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I don't know much about ghosts but I believe they appear in a form that is not frightening to the ones they love. Or perhaps what she is seeing is a memory of him at that age. It is tough with dementia. My Aunt had it and she saw her mom. She would talk to her as if she were in the room. My Dad had a dream a few days later about his mom. I think anything is possible. Try and comfort her. There isn't much you can do but keep her safe and be there for her. I wish you lots of luck with things.
 

remainsilly

bye-bye
Aug 15, 2014
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Her doctor may evaluate meds & dosage--just explain the issue.

I 'd accept the ghost as real to her. She may need some kind of comfort from it.
Maybe plant the idea of it being there to ease HER fear & pain--that it's a type of guardian angel.

This has worked for me to comfort the dying. I find they experience such things, sometimes.
Hope it helps.
 

hermes_lemming

my little etoupe
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May 5, 2006
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I don't know much about ghosts but I believe they appear in a form that is not frightening to the ones they love. Or perhaps what she is seeing is a memory of him at that age. It is tough with dementia. My Aunt had it and she saw her mom. She would talk to her as if she were in the room. My Dad had a dream a few days later about his mom. I think anything is possible. Try and comfort her. There isn't much you can do but keep her safe and be there for her. I wish you lots of luck with things.
This is what I believe too. In my culture, I was raise to believe in ghosts. Long story short there are good ones and bad ones. It's not uncommon in my family for dearly departed spirits to visit during celebratory events (eg births, weddings, etc). But no one appears as a younger vrsn of themselves.

My maternal grandparents suffered from dementia towards the end of their lives - firmly stuck on the 80s and Reagan. My dad had it days before he passed. But none of them say people who weren't there, kwim? But I guess anything is possible.

I even volunteered having my obscenely cute pup pay his mom a visit to provide some cheer. He is worried it would just add to her complaing and make her more upset.

She wants to leave the facility and go home. But she is out of it part of the time.

I feel so bad for my beau. First his mom suddenly becomes suicidal (yes she is under suicide watch), now she is seeing and talking to people who are not there.

She is very adamant about this Lil boy and is distressed that he is unchaperoned (and claiming to be his son).
Her doctor may evaluate meds & dosage--just explain the issue.

I 'd accept the ghost as real to her. She may need some kind of comfort from it.
Maybe plant the idea of it being there to ease HER fear & pain--that it's a type of guardian angel.

This has worked for me to comfort the dying. I find they experience such things, sometimes.
Hope it helps.
My Beau tried that - just accepting the ghost is real (btw his family doesn't belive in such things nor has ever witnessed such occurrences ). He even asked his mom if she thought the Lil boy was her son who passed. She said no, that son is in high school.

I think the Guardian angel thing might just freak them out to be quite honest. Unless you're like me and grew up with this stuff, the sudden idea of a spirit might be unsettling.

I cannot tell my Beau his mom is dying. That would crush him but I think part of him must be aware her time is near.

Thank you both for your suggestions.
 

Cinderelie74

Member
Oct 16, 2014
51
0
It is sad but just be there for him and for the family. It is never easy to hear that a family member is nearing the end.

My husband was a big help and support when my Aunt passed. I was in denial until the day of the funeral and then I lost it. He stood by me and helped me. I am sorry you are your beau's family are going through this.
 

hermes_lemming

my little etoupe
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May 5, 2006
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It is sad but just be there for him and for the family. It is never easy to hear that a family member is nearing the end.

My husband was a big help and support when my Aunt passed. I was in denial until the day of the funeral and then I lost it. He stood by me and helped me. I am sorry you are your beau's family are going through this.
Thank you. I just realized it too last night, after talking to him - that unfortunately she might be near the end. Especially now she is seeing that little boy - whether or not he is real.

My beau has had an incredibly hard year. I'm unfortunately all the family he has. He is the youngest of three. The middle brother passed earlier this year. His oldest brother pretty much cut off all ties with everyone 30+ years ago when he got married (his excuse is that he feels like their mom wasn't there for him enough). My beau's father divorced his mom when he was 18 and cut off contact from that day forward. I believe he died years ago.

He has some distant relatives that were involved in his life when he was a child. I think they're either drifted or passed away by now. He speaks on one uncle (mom's brother) who inquires about his mother from time to time and occasionally helps with the medical bills.

He has friends but none really too close, kwim? And guys process stuff differently than men. I feel for him. I really do. Being there for him is easy IMO. I just wish I can make some of this heavy burden go away. He's had a super rough year (lost 2 of 3 jobs, got injured, suffered life threatening emergencies, etc). I meet him right in the midst of it all. He is grateful for me being there - I keep telling him that it will get better and of course it gets worse. So I actually stopped saying that in fear of what might happen next.

I just tell him that I had a rough go too. One day over hard liquor, I'll share my story. But right now it's all about him. My heart just really goes out to him.

I'm sorry about your aunt. I'm glad your husband is there for you.
 

Charles

Sucks at budgeting
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Jan 5, 2007
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Jacksonville, Fl
Is it possible for a deceased spirit to return at a younger age?

I'm asking because my beau's brother passed prematurely around 6 months ago. I believe he was 60+ yrs at the time.

Fast forward to today. His mom who suffers from slight dementia and has to undergo dialysis is now suddenly saying she sees a 8 yr old boy who claims she is his mother.

No one can figure out if this is the spirit of the deceased or she is hallucinating. And she is upset because she is convinced there is an 8 yr old boy wandering around by himself.

Anyone?
I think you might be onto something.

The mind is very powerful and can be very convincing. Given that there's never been any conclusive evidence of ghosts or spirits, I tend to lean towards the idea of her mind is playing tricks on her...especially given her condition.
 

hermes_lemming

my little etoupe
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May 5, 2006
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ghost most certainly exist, and what i believe is, ghost are here for a message.
I think you might be onto something.

The mind is very powerful and can be very convincing. Given that there's never been any conclusive evidence of ghosts or spirits, I tend to lean towards the idea of her mind is playing tricks on her...especially given her condition.
In my culture, we believe in ghosts, good and bad. That's how I was raised. But it's a very non western thinking.

However following along the same belief, I've never heard of any spirit returning in a younger self. Usually they make their presence known soon after they depart this world, and visit those they love etc. I believe they do watch over those they care about.

I feel incredibly bad this is happening to my beau's mom. Because she suffers from dementia, she doesn't even realize that one of her son's is dead. They have told her multiple times but it doesn't seem to register. In her mind, her sons are in middle and high school - vs baby boomers.

My beau's family is of a different culture, well basically they're Americans and grew up with a different belief system. They dont see ghosts nor feel spirits. When I told my beau my ghost stories he half joked my dad would haunt my exhusband before him.

My beau's mon has never hallucinated before. Yea she has been out of it a few times but usually snaps too within a few hours. She's been carrying on all day about this little boy.

All in all, I unfortunately think her time is near, which is incredibly unfortunate for my beau. He has suffered enough. I just hope whenever her time comes, she goes in peace.
 

hermes_lemming

my little etoupe
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May 5, 2006
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And the whole being unaware of current events thing while suffering from dementia is totally normal. When my maternal (non ghost side) grandparents were towards the end, their heads were stuck in the 80s. But neither one of them hallucinated. :/
 

bag-mania

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Apr 6, 2007
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What medications do they have her on? That could explain hallucinations. My mother does not have dementia, but she noticed one of her medications has caused her to see some really odd stuff a few times, usually right at the moment when she is waking up. In her case the hallucinations happen so rarely that the benefit of the medicine outweighs the occasional weird thing she might see.

If your boyfriend's mother has only seen the little boy once, I'd chalk it up to something like that.
 

hermes_lemming

my little etoupe
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May 5, 2006
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What medications do they have her on? That could explain hallucinations. My mother does not have dementia, but she noticed one of her medications has caused her to see some really odd stuff a few times, usually right at the moment when she is waking up. In her case the hallucinations happen so rarely that the benefit of the medicine outweighs the occasional weird thing she might see.

If your boyfriend's mother has only seen the little boy once, I'd chalk it up to something like that.
Just spoke to my beau. No change to his mother's medication. I'm not sure what she is taking other than having her dialysis.

He told me his mother has seen the little boy several times. He leaves and keeps coming back to see my beau's mom.
 

hermes_lemming

my little etoupe
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May 5, 2006
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Here's an update on the situation. My SO'S mom was recently admitted to the hospital because long story short, she became senile and violent - she was hurting the staff at the old folks home and they were having problems restraining her, even though she was on 24 hour suicide watch.

She was sent to a nearby hospital via emergency admittance and get this - she is suffering from a UTI! That's what caused all this craziness. Omg... smh.

My SO is relieved as we were both fearing the worst last but but sheesh... a UTI?!?

They changed her meds, gave her the proper antibiotics and viola, no more ghosts, suicidal tendencies and back to the sweet ol 90 yr she formerly once was.