Friends who want to borrow your pricey beauty belongings. (all the time)

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  1. Hello all!

    I didn't know exactly where this thread belonged whether in here, or in General discussion. Mods, please move if needed.

    So, I don't know if I am the only one who has to deal with friends or just a certain friend in my case, who ask to borrow things constantly instead of just buying their own things. I am a very selfless person and have never minded sharing but I do have a friend who will borrow anything and everything she can because she knows more than likely I will have it!

    She's asked to borrow long sleeve tops from me when she went up to Big Bear with her boyfriend as well as my snow boots, when she has a party to go to she asks if she can go "shopping" in my closet for dresses, she will ask to use my lipgloss when we are at work or any other makeup I may have that day with me, when she's at my place she will spray my perfume on her, and lo and behold TODAY she sent me a text asking if we can put my clip-in extensions in her hair to see what they will look like "just for fun". I respond asking if she wanted to literally wear them around or if it was just to try them in to see if she liked them which would be totally ok with me, and she said " Well, if they look good i'll wanna wear them for a few days."

    Let me inform you all, if you didn't already know, I am a hairdresser. And, well, SO IS SHE!! All of my co-workers/clients always compliment me on how they can't tell when I wear the clip-in extensions because they look so real and natural. My friend has short hair and i've told her many of times to get them but she refuses because she doesn't want to spend the money (they cost $130 and last a LONG time) I've told her for how well they work and how long they last it's not a lot of money to dish out ONE time.

    I kindly responded to her text by saying I really don't feel comfortable with letting her wear them because I find it a bit gross, no offense to her but I almost feel like its like sharing underwear, haha. I wear them often and I wash them every 3 times that I wear them so it's not like they are grimey, but to have them in someone else's head for a few days doesn't sit right with me. Besides that, I dished out the money for them and feel I should be the one doing the wear and tear, not my friends. I told her that we can put them in and see how good they look on her and if she liked them we should get her a set and i'd be more than happy to help her with them. After I explained myself she responded with "Nevermind..." I asked her "Why?" and she said "Nevermind!!!" So I said "Okay..."

    I mean am I in the wrong here? I feel bad for the way she responded so rudely after I was just being honest with her. I am kind enough to share my other things with her but i can't help but think she is just too cheap to buy her own things. I work hard for the things I enjoy to use and buy for myself and I feel she should too. After today, I don't even feel like letting her borrow anything from here on out.

    Thanks for taking the time to read my story!
     
  2. jenarae,

    I think that you've done your part in letting her borrow your things, and now she's just taking advantage of your good will.

    I agree, it's kind of gross having someone wear your hair extensions for more than just a simple try on/event! Because she's also a hairdresser, I would think that she has the experience to be able to try on extensions and make a good decision without having to wear them for days.

    Would she have access to hair extensions that she could borrow, perhaps from her salon? (Not a hairdresser, so I don't know much about them :P).

    I think that your reply was very well written, especially since you offered to go with her to choose some and let her try yours on. Does she let you borrow her stuff too, or is this more of a one sided friendship?

    Good luck! I hope things work out!

    (PS Your hair is gorgeous! Love it! :heart:)
     
  3. Thanks Chubbiebunnie.

    No, she doesn't have access to borrow any from our salon. It's pretty much to each their own. And that is why i offered to let her try mine in and i would think the same that she doesn't need to wear them for multiple days unless she just simply wanted to use them!

    It totally is a one sided friendship because she is cheap and doesn't ever buy anything for herself so that leaves no room for anyone to borrow anything from her.

    Thank you! :biggrin:
     
  4. No offense... but she's not the kind of friend I think that's good for you to have. Acquaintance? Perhaps... but she's not what I would call friend material... that is unless you like the abuse she's providing you.... but me thinks you do not.

    I think you know what she's doing wrong but for your own sake I'd say it's time to cut ties... and find someone who won't abuse your tools, or your friendship.
     
  5. It sounds like you have been more than generous with her and since you don't feel like letting her borrow anything anymore then it sounds like it's time to cut her off. She has come to expect you to let her take whatever she wants from you and that isn't right. Sucks that she was rude and reacted that way but not really surprising- It's normal for the one who oversteps to get snotty when the other person finally stands up for herself, you know? I wouldn't worry about it too much because she doesn't sound like a good friend. I know that's hard sometimes and hopefully she will adjust and lighten up once she realizes the free ride is over. Good for you for being honest, though!
     
  6. I am not as grossed out about sharing hair extensions as I am sharing lip gloss. The makeup depends on what, like blush with a clean brush, fine. I won't even share lipgloss/ lipstick/ eyeliner with my sisters! She's taking advantage of you, and she seems pissed now that you are putting a stop to it.
     
  7. You've definitely been a very good friend for who knows how long... your friend doesn't know how to appreciate and seems to be taking it for granted...
     
  8. I wouldn't share that much. You've been more than generous. Once in awhile is fine, but if you borrowed from me that much I would start asking you to chip in.

    And eeewww at the lip gloss and extensions lol.
     
  9. lol She used a cu-tip with the gloss. I of all people being a hairdresser know the grossness of sharing things like that! And that's why I reacted the way I did with my extensions. Part being grossed out and part feeling like she is a free loader because she is cheap! She is a very sweet girl and a good friend i just think she doesn't see any wrong in "sharing" ya know?
     

  10. Agree here...and for personal hygiene reasons not so much in

    favor of lending hair and or beauty products
     
  11. Ew, so gross! Beauty products are not meant to be shared. I wouldn't even share someone's blush.

    I think you handled it very well. Don't feel bad, she's the one who should.
     
  12. I don't think you are doing anything wrong, from the way you laid it out it sounds as though you are being/ have been more than accommodating and now she is taking advantage of your generous nature. Unfortunately--for her--it sounds like it is time for her to start spending her own money and stop using your stuff.
     
  13. You didn't do anything wrong. Don't let her make you feel guilty. Borrowing a shirt once in a while is one thing, but makeup and hair extensions? That's a big no-no in my book. I made that mistake once and I won't do it again.
     
  14. I don't think you did anything wrong either.
     
  15. #15 Feb 6, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2010
    :woohoo::goodpost:I think it's just disgusting that she would even ask to borrow something that personal! It's like asking to borrow underwear and returning them without washing them.:yucky: I would've probably responded as such if it had been me. Might I add she sounds like she is incredibly jealous or envious of your style?
     
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