Feeling depressed...

  1. Megs and I welcomed our baby boy earlier this month and wanted to share the news with the TPF community. Come say hello to Baby Vaughn!
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  1. I don't know if maybe I'm just in a mood or if it's because it's that time of month again, but I just started thinking that maybe I made the wrong decision. :crybaby:

    I just graduated from my undergraduate university with a degree in psychology and had the option of getting my MFT at either Santa Clara University or the University of Rochester, in New York. My parents were really excited about Rochester because their MFT program was part of their medical school, which is ranked #17 in the country, and I would have had the opportunity to work with psychiatrists in the hospital.

    I, of course, chose Santa Clara and I think it was for all the wrong reasons. My main reason for staying in California was so I could continue to be with my boyfriend. And I don't know if you read my previous post, but I think he may be cheating on me right now, and I feel like I gave up a really good opportunity to advance my future for no reason now. I am trying to tell myself that I didn't give up going a great school just for him; I also chose Santa Clara because I want to practice in California and I didn't think I was ready to move so far from home. But I honestly think that if I wasn't dating him at the time I made my decision, I would have chosen Rochester.

    Don't get me wrong, Santa Clara is a great university, but it is definitely not ranked as high as the University of Rochester, and it is not a part of any medical school. I feel like I gave up a lot of opportunities for my boyfriend, and he doesn't care, and now I feel like I let myself down. I know it's not a big deal because it's only the difference between colleges, but I'm afraid if I'm already sacraficing these decisions for him, then I am not living for me. :crybaby:
  2. can you transfer? It's always better to go to the highest ranking school possible...
  3. No, they don't accept transfers
  4. if you haven't really started yet, maybe you can reapply and go in jan? It's a hassle but may be better in the long run...I would look into it...I just can't say that it's best to stay in a program that is not as good as the other you got accepted to...it could be the difference between a truly enriching experience and one that is just ok...I'm really sorry this is happening to you, but it's better you found out about this guy sooner than later...
  5. Never, EVER let a man control your destiny.
  6. I"m sorry that this is happening. If I was in your situation, I would feel the same way. I guess you can just start the school year and it may be better than you expected. Going to a higher rank school does not always means it's the best. From this point on, you can try to make decisions more for youself since you feel this way.
  7. I'm going to try to make the best of it. In the end, it was my decision to go to Santa Clara and I have to live with it. There's really no point on dwelling on the past, but deep down inside I really do think I made the wrong decision. Part of Santa Clara's program is that the MFT students can go to personal counseling if they want, and maybe personal counseling will benefit me and help me sort out any issues I may have about making decisions on my own and doing what's best for me.
  8. You need to do things for yourself, not others
    Is it too late to change schools?
  9. Roo summed it up perfectly!
  10. Is it too late top scrap Santa Clara and apply to Rochester? Maybe wait for a semester if it's too late?
  11. Can you try deferring going to Santa Clara and try for Rochester again? Don't ever make any important decision because of a guy. I would only do that for my parents and MAYBE husband, otherwise my life is my life. If you still end up going to Santa Clara, do not despair. Make the best of it, take advantage of EVERYTHING that it has to offer, make sure you have an awesome time there so that you can prove to yourself that you can STILL be happy even without that jerk bf of yours (sorry for calling him a jerk but he does sound like one).:flowers:
  12. Maybe this will help u as it has helped me...

    "love with ur head, not with ur heart!"

    ur heart tends to let u make the wrong decisions...
  13. hugs at least you are able to se eyour priorities now
  14. From personal experience, please do not pick the school for your boyfriend(especially if it is a cheat), pick it for yourself. Ten years from now you do not want to be saying I wished I would have done it differently. Life is too short for a do over!!
  15. Exactly.

    And that doesn't have to be a bad thing - a selfish thing. It should just be the way you're wired to make decisions.

    Now that I have children I would under circumstances allow their needs to supercede mine, but, even after 10 years of marriage he can't even cajole me into going out when I'm tired! lol.