Hey gals and guys,
i'm having one of those downer days.
I just met up with an ex-boss that I"ve since become friends with. he's only a few years older and doing very well. Had i stayed on, i'd be doing pretty well just a little more junior under this ex-boss.
I mentioned i was looking for a job and he said it's hard to find one since summer is round the corner and he was like, why didn't you look harder in the beginning of the year? that's when people hire. I didn't answer him but i didn't because then more so than now, i was really coping with all the fallout in my life. and in a way, i'm still trying to get through each day. and sometimes doing a simple thing like sending a recruiter an email is so energy consuming and tough to do.
He then mentioned that his group is actively hiring but he didn't even mention that I could think about coming back.
And in a way, I'm not surprised. I left my job then due to personal/health issues. there was alot of politics and i got on the bad books of alot of people high up in the company. I left the company and thought i could find my own path. but things just went downhill after i left.
it's a super prestigious fortune 100 company. As an analogy, i feel like i got a ticket into the palace but left and am being locked out now and have to live in the slums looking at the palace and thinking that i was there and could have been there if not for my misstep.
i shouldn't have left. I just feel like I majorly screwed up with this and so many other things and a huge sense of loss for what could have been a successful career had i chosen not to let personal issues affect my job decision.
As some of you know, i've been dealing with all sorts of problems, job, family, health, break-ups. You name it. and I'm just feeling like such a screw up right now. Just needed to let it out. thanks for reading. i know it's long. =P
ps: btw i know in my head that my situation is not as bad as things could be. I'm going to sell off my bags and shoes soon but I still have food and shelter. just that i feel so down about it. =(
i'm having one of those downer days.
I just met up with an ex-boss that I"ve since become friends with. he's only a few years older and doing very well. Had i stayed on, i'd be doing pretty well just a little more junior under this ex-boss.
I mentioned i was looking for a job and he said it's hard to find one since summer is round the corner and he was like, why didn't you look harder in the beginning of the year? that's when people hire. I didn't answer him but i didn't because then more so than now, i was really coping with all the fallout in my life. and in a way, i'm still trying to get through each day. and sometimes doing a simple thing like sending a recruiter an email is so energy consuming and tough to do.
He then mentioned that his group is actively hiring but he didn't even mention that I could think about coming back.
And in a way, I'm not surprised. I left my job then due to personal/health issues. there was alot of politics and i got on the bad books of alot of people high up in the company. I left the company and thought i could find my own path. but things just went downhill after i left.
it's a super prestigious fortune 100 company. As an analogy, i feel like i got a ticket into the palace but left and am being locked out now and have to live in the slums looking at the palace and thinking that i was there and could have been there if not for my misstep.
i shouldn't have left. I just feel like I majorly screwed up with this and so many other things and a huge sense of loss for what could have been a successful career had i chosen not to let personal issues affect my job decision.
As some of you know, i've been dealing with all sorts of problems, job, family, health, break-ups. You name it. and I'm just feeling like such a screw up right now. Just needed to let it out. thanks for reading. i know it's long. =P
ps: btw i know in my head that my situation is not as bad as things could be. I'm going to sell off my bags and shoes soon but I still have food and shelter. just that i feel so down about it. =(