I love Celebrity Jeopardy: Burt Reynolds: Hey. Hey, ah.. check out the podium. Look at this. Alex Trebek: Mr. Reynolds has apparently changed his name to Turd Ferguson. Burt Reynolds: Yeah, that's right. Turd Ferguson. It's a funny name. Sean Connery: Uh.. I'll take "Swords" for $400. Alex Trebek: It's actually not "Swords".. these are words that begin with "S". Sean Connery: It looks like this is my lucky day! I'll take "The Rapists" for $200. Alex Trebek: That's "Therapists." That's "Therapists," not "The Rapists." Alex Trebek: Good for you. Well, as always, three perfectly good charities have been deprived of money, here on "Celebrity Jeopardy". I'm Alex Trebek, and the three of you should be ashamed of yourselves! Good night! Alex Trebek: And our final contestant on Celebrity Rock and Roll Jeopardy... Sean Connery. Sean Connery: We meet again, you loggerheaded tickle brain poppycock! I cut an album of filthy limericks just so I'd be eligible: "There once was a man named Trebick, who had the most tiniest..." Alex Trebek: Enough. Let's just get this over with. Sean Connery: That's a nice jacket you're wearing, Trebek. Alex Trebek: Why, thank you. Sean Connery: Is that wool? Must have been expensive. Alex Trebek: No, actually, it was quite reasonable. Sean Connery: Really? Where did you get it? Alex Trebek: At a place called Stern's, down on 14th. Sean Connery: Stern's? I'll have to check it out. Alex Trebek: Well, you should. Ask for Gary. Tell him that I sent you. Sean Connery: I'll do that. That sure is a nice jacket. Just one more question... Alex Trebek: What is it, Sean? Sean Connery: Do they make them for men? Alex Trebek: "Of Simon and Garfunkel, the one that is not Garfunkel". Sean Connery: I Garfunkeled your mother. [starts laughing] Sean Connery: I'll take "I Have a Hard-on" for $600. [close-up to board, the category "I Have a Chardonnay" is edited to read "I Have a Hardon".] Alex Trebek: I don't believe this. Where did you get that magic marker? We frisked you in on the way in here. Sean Connery: I didn't have it in my pocket. Alex Trebek: That's disgusting. Please. Sean Connery: I bet if you frisked me, you would have found it. Alex Trebek: All right, that's enough. Alex Trebek: Mr. Keaton. [Keaton just does facial expressions.] Mr. Keaton. [The buzzer sounds.] I.. I don't think we can accept facial expressions as an answer. Mr. Reynolds, it's your board, pick a category. Michael Keaton: All right, um, Number. See, because sometimes it helps to understand a word if we break it down. Let's do that now, shall we? Numb, see, if you're numb, you can't feel. [pauses for a second] See, yeah if you're numb you can't feel. And then Ber.. Alex Trebek: Numbers for $800. And the answer is: This number comes between five and seven. [Keaton buzzes in.] Mr. Keaton. Michael Keaton: ..See and then Ber, if you're, you know if you're cold, that's the sound that you would make. I guess I, I guess my answer will be uh, somebody who can't feel that they're, uh, that they're cold. Alex Trebek: No. Michael Keaton: What is somebody who can't feel when they're cold? Alex Trebek: No, no Mr. Keaton, I know what you're trying to do. Just stop. Alex Trebek: And finally, Tom Cruise has an incredible negative $12,000. A negative $12,000 having incorrectly answered a number of first round questions more than once. Tom Cruise: I'm feeling great, Alex. Who is this guy? [points to Adam Sandler] I love this guy. This guy's great here, with the crazy sounds. He's wonderful. And it's really an honor to be working with Sean Connery. Alex Trebek: Mr. Connery, go ahead. Sean Connery: The day is mine! I'll take Famous Titties for 400. Alex Trebek: Titles, Famous Titles. Sean Connery: Damn! Alex Trebek: Moving on. All right, Adam Sandler, you wrote down: "Abbie Doobie." Adam Sandler: Abbie Doobie...[Gibberish] Alex Trebek: I feel like I want to punch you. Mr. Connery, where are you right now? You wrote: Good, Lord, you wrote "indoors" that's phenomenal. Are we recording this? Ok, let's look at your wager. "I heart boobs." That's beautiful. That's it for Celebrity Jeopardy. I'm going home and putting a gun in my mouth. Good day.