How many of these do YOU know? Romans go home" in latin is "'Romani Ite Domum" NOT "Romanes Eunt Domus" (third person plural, present indicative.) Ich bin ein holzfäller Last year the government spent less on Silly Walks than it did on National Defence. The Larch. Wome is your fwend There is no rule six. Norwegian Blues stun easily Charles Dikkens is a well-known Dutch author. Some rabbits have a vicious streak a mile wide. Never be rude to an Arab. You can't cut down the tallest tree in the forest with a herring it just can't be done (honest). Pantomime horses make the best secret agents Salmon mousse is bad for your health Certain theories regarding the shape of the earth are disastrously wrong. The most dangerous of animals is a clever sheep Never underestimate the power of a bicycle repairman If you become King, remember to brush up on your knowledge of swallows and gravity Moose bites can be nasty. You can't say (beep) on the radio If you're name is Carol, don't go into show business with a group of British crazies There is no such thing as a fish licence. Lumberjacks are okay Crucifixion's a doddle When you need to identify a bishop, look for the tattoo on the back of its neck. A witch will weigh the same as a duck because they both float and therefore are both made of wood. Sheep were not meant to fly The Larch. Life's a piece of **** when you look at it If you can't think of a name for your pet, call it Eric Coventry City has never won the English Football Cup Never think twice about waking up the neighbour if you're an upper class twit Philosophers like to drink Always keep your cat confused The Keeper of the Bridge of Death will ask you five questions (three questions) Don't even ask about the Camembert; you know the cat's eaten it Nnnnnnnnooooooooooooo Pooftahs. Not everyone likes SPAM Nine out of ten British housewives can't tell Whizzo butter from a dead crab Never trust strangers in suits of armour carrying chickens Albatrosses are bleedin' sea bird flavour. Keep your eye out for 16-ton weights falling out of nowhere Don't mention the dirty fork - it will all end in tears. Be careful not to get squished by huge feet from the sky It's important to learn to defend yourself from an attack with a piece of fruit. The Larch. When crossing the street, don't trust Keep Left signs It is the inalienable right of any man to have the right to have children My hovercraft is full of eels. There is nothing quite as wonderful as money Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Proust in his first book wrote about, wrote about (he wrote about) etc. Blancmanges are better tennis players than Scotsmen. It's important to know how not to be seen The Larch. European swallows don't migrate Coconuts dont migrate. Tinny words are not as nice as woody ones Never trust a show to end when the end credits start rolling The Larch. The earth is banana-shaped ... and most of all, Always look on the bright side of life.