Ever gave a speech at a wedding?

lorenzo94580

Member
Jul 24, 2007
2,511
6
In a few weeks, I will be attending my bff's wedding as her Matron of Honor. I am absolutely thrilled with the honor, but am dreading the speech. Especially since the thought of public speaking absolutely terrifies me. :sweatdrop:

Please share your stories of speeches you remember from weddings you've attended-- ones that stick out in your mind, ones that were heartfelt, ones that went horribly wrong (That SITC episode where Miranda's cue card caught on fire comes to mind). If you've ever spoken at a wedding, any tips you have would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!
 
Jan 22, 2009
201,620
9,543
SoFla
I recommend sharing short personal touching stories (or 1 story) about the bride (your BFF) or about the couple.

speak slowly & deliberately. keep it short. you'll do great!!!
 

lorenzo94580

Member
Jul 24, 2007
2,511
6
^^Thanks Frick&Frack. I tend to ramble when I'm nervous, so the one story guideline sounds good. :tup: Less to memorize, too!
 
Jan 22, 2009
201,620
9,543
SoFla
OOOOO...sweetie...don't memorize. too much of a chance of going wrong when you're nervous. bring a note card with a basic outline. if you tell a personal story, the basic outline will be enough to remind you.

also, practice saying your speech. I'd keep it to 2 or 3 minutes (people get bored). saying things out loud sound different than when you read them. practice with your DH & a good friend. practice more than once if you can. then let it go. I really think a little spontaneity is good for these kind of personal speeches.

I can't emphasize how important it is to speak slowly. that will definitely calm your nerves. in your mind, it will seem like you're waiting 5 minutes between words, but to the audience it will be just right. we tend to speak quickly when we're nervous. also, look at someone in the crowd who you know. maybe then it will seem like a conversation rather than a speech. remember...slow, slow, slow...speak very slowly.

good luck! I know you'll do great.
 

shazam

Member
Jul 22, 2007
1,347
2
Last fall I was in one of my best friend's wedding, but her sister was the MoH so the other bridesmaid and I thought we were in the clear. Well, at the reception the coordinator person informed us we were all giving toasts right before the DJ announced us. The maid of honor and best man started since they were at least prepared, while the rest of us had to come up with something on the spot.

The guys all told personal stories which I agree in theory is nice, but their stories went on and on and they were finding things they were talking about to be hysterical while everyone else (including the couple) was kind of lukewarm and trying to be polite. So, if you use a personal story, just be sure to keep it where it can be easily followed and doesn't ramble on excessively.

I just said something along the lines of my friend being like a sister to me, never thinking there could be a guy out there good enough for her until I met her husband and then, once I met him, hoping this day would happen and now being so happy it was here. Then something about all of the wonderful days they'll have to come and having everyone toast to their names. I don't know exactly what I said since I didn't have anything prepared and there were emotions and tears but I think it went over pretty well because people came up to me during the rest of the reception to tell me how nice my toast was. More importantly, I know it made my friend happy. It was really just the truth and came from my heart, so if you stick with that you'll be fine. Mine was really short, though, so I'm sure it was a lot easier than what you're trying to put together. Also, there was a cocktail hour beforehand, so everyone was all nice and loosened up which made it easier, lol.
 

lorenzo94580

Member
Jul 24, 2007
2,511
6
^^Awesome Frick&Frack!! Thanks again!

ETA: Shazam, that's beautiful. It's pretty much what I was thinking of saying for my speech. The couple is very family oriented-- to the point where the cousins are more like best friends. It's really touching. Neither the bride nor I have sisters so we regard each other as sisters. I hope I can figure out how to put that nicely in my speech as well.
 
Last edited:

shazam

Member
Jul 22, 2007
1,347
2
I know you will do fine and don't stress yourself out too much over it, I'm sure your friend wouldn't want that. I can already feel the emotion from your last post and I know everyone will recognize how heartfelt your words are. I'd have to go back and watch our video to remember exactly what our best man said in the toast at our wedding, but I know it was funny and I was really touched by it, so the exact words aren't what leave the lasting impression.

Just say what what you're feeling and the bride and groom will think it's wonderful. And I totally agree on not memorizing or rehearsing it too much, you may even feel like you want to say something totally different once you're in the moment.
 

lorenzo94580

Member
Jul 24, 2007
2,511
6
Thanks Shazam for the encouragement. I can feel my anxiety level easing up already!

And I totally agree on not memorizing or rehearsing it too much, you may even feel like you want to say something totally different once you're in the moment.
I had wondered about this, especially since I was thinking of the Friends episode where Chandler chucked his original vows for something more on the spot (like how I'm always drawing references from tv?? lol).

So in essence, I'll keep this in the back of my mind when the time comes. Thanks again for mentioning this. :smile:
 
I've given 3 best man speeches (I hope to be a best man at least a couple more times) and they never get easier for me. The first time I used bullet points so I wouldn't forget anything, every one loved my speech because they could see how nervous I was. The last time I actually wrote it out word for word and that one probably wasn't as good as the first but people still loved it.

Personally I would recommend writing it out word for word and then just practicing it and memorizing it. Also start thinking about it way ahead of time because good jokes and stories will come to you over time so you want to remember to write them down.

Lastly, always start off funny and end on a sweet note and every one will love you. Let us know how it went and good luck!
 

aklein

Member
Dec 30, 2007
10,683
2
Just a few weeks ago, I gave my MOH toast at my sister's wedding. We are very close. She is my best friend. So I wrote about our relationship over the years (how she went from annoying little sister to my BFF) and the big adventures that we have had together. I also said things about being part of the big moments in each other's lives. I closed with wishing her luck on her next big adventure -- the one she was starting with her new husband.
It went really well. I only got a little choked up at one point. And my sister just looked at me, smiled and mouthed 'You can do it, you are doing a great job.' Then I really almost lost it, but I took a deep breath, and pulled it together and finished it. I don't think anyone else even noticed (except maybe my parents).
Throughout the night, people came up to me and told me that I did a great job and they liked my toast. So I guess it went ok.
 

lorenzo94580

Member
Jul 24, 2007
2,511
6
I've given 3 best man speeches (I hope to be a best man at least a couple more times) and they never get easier for me. The first time I used bullet points so I wouldn't forget anything, every one loved my speech because they could see how nervous I was. The last time I actually wrote it out word for word and that one probably wasn't as good as the first but people still loved it.

Personally I would recommend writing it out word for word and then just practicing it and memorizing it. Also start thinking about it way ahead of time because good jokes and stories will come to you over time so you want to remember to write them down.

Lastly, always start off funny and end on a sweet note and every one will love you. Let us know how it went and good luck!
Wow... three speeches! I'm impressed! I like the format you mentioned where you start off funny and end on a sweet note. Nice way to make an impression. Thanks again for sharing... and btw. Your Tiffany thread is one of the BEST. THREADS. EVAH!!
 

lorenzo94580

Member
Jul 24, 2007
2,511
6
I only got a little choked up at one point. And my sister just looked at me, smiled and mouthed 'You can do it, you are doing a great job.' Then I really almost lost it, but I took a deep breath, and pulled it together and finished it.
Thanks for sharing aklein. I started welling up a little just reading this portion of your post. As a mom of two little girls, it's the kind of relationship I dream of for them. Also, the bride is definitely like a sister to me. I hope I can hold it together like how you did when I give my speech. But I'll remember the deep breath trick. Thank you!
 
Wow... three speeches! I'm impressed! I like the format you mentioned where you start off funny and end on a sweet note. Nice way to make an impression. Thanks again for sharing... and btw. Your Tiffany thread is one of the BEST. THREADS. EVAH!!
Thanks! What I meant to say in my last post but wasn't clear was the last time I gave a speech I wrote it out word for word and read it off of a paper I printed out. Next time I'll do the same but I'll have it memorized instead of reading it off of the paper. Good luck again...and remember always end on a sweet note and you can't go wrong.
 

runner22

dreaming of Coach...
O.G.
Jan 13, 2008
2,269
2
Hawkeye State
haha I was the MoH in my friend's wedding about a year ago. I had just gotten the married the week before hers so I admit that a speech hadn't even crossed my mind. Someone asked me at the rehearsal dinner about my speech and I freaked out!

I ended up just doing it off the cuff. I prefaced my speech by saying that I had forgotten to think of one which everyone thought was funny. I just talked a little about them as a couple and a funny story about how I knew the relationship would last.