Ever feel like you'll just never live up to expectations with the way you look?

  1. I feel like I'm constantly battling just to look decent...

    to keep my clothes and shoes in good condition and make sure I have everything I need for any occasion, even though there's always SOMETHING new I need, or something that needs repair or hemming or something...

    to try and keep aware of current fashion, but not too trendy...

    to try and keep myself in good condition with the pedicures and the waxing and all that... and the makeup and everything every day...

    and my HAIR...

    I feel like there will always be someone judging me for something... including myself... even though I spend so much time and money on how I look, probably a lot more than the average woman, I feel like it's never quite enough.

    Maybe it's living in NYC where so many women look so good :sad:

    Do you guys ever feel like it's just a constant battle?
  2. I know what you mean. It seems like we spend more and more time and money to just look averagely decent lol!

    I totally blame the air brush culture of the magazines. Deep down you know that these people do not really look like this, but you still strive to achieve an unattainable goal.

    Most days, I am happy, more than happy really, but like you, there are the days where I want to stay in, keep my pjs on and stop competing with something that you cannot compete with (mainly because it is in our heads)

    I guarantee that people do not notice the negative things about us that we notice. ;)
  3. Nope, can't say that I have. I think you answered your own question.
    You have to be you for no one else but you. Keeping up with everyone else to look like them, dress etc. yes will be a constant battle.:flowers:
  4. Hmm... I never thought of it that way.

    I do think that in general, people do not notice, good or bad, as much as I probably think they do.

    I guess a lot of it is just trying to look good for myself.
  5. An awesome post. Couldn't agree more. Happiness is difficult enough to come by, nevermind the opinions of otherwise meaningless people. Live for yourself.
  6. Yes I do, but that's when I am doubting my own style. Sometimes it's hard in NY when all the girls look similar and are all gorgeous. Sometimes I feel like maybe I should have that look that they all have ... be it clunky shoe boots, black tights and a black jumper at Fashion Week, or pleated shorts and a cami in Meatpacking.... But that's just when I am feeling insecure.
  7. You just need to accept yourself. who cares what others would think?
    but yeah I get that feeling sometimes. I just ignore it and act like I don't even feel it. best way to get rid of it ;)
    Hold your head up high and keep walking ^^
  8. I never feel overwhelmed with it although I enjoy taking care of myself. It's my refuge from the children! LOL

    IMO you are your own worse critic. You are judging yourself, not others. People probably don't even notice whether your hair is slightly out-of-place or whether your manicure is a week overdue.
  9. Honestly I have never felt co compelled. I do struggle to leave the house every day looking appropriate and professional. But I don't find myself riddled witha constant barrage of things that I need. I find there are a lot more things that I want than I trully need.
  10. I don't feel that way at all, i embrace all my characteristics.

    There are a lot of georgeous gals in NYC and everywhere else... but who's gonna notice how fab someone's highlights are or how cute their outfit is? It's more likely going to be a girl than a guy. EXCEPT for the grooming stuff like manis and pedis.

    I think confidence is also KEY into how one is perceived.
  11. I can't fixate on it because it would never end. I do wish sometimes that I could just one of those extreme makeovers and be pretty or something.
  12. oh yes, i think...
    although i'm a sloppy dresser. i can say that i'm quite stylish, but i just don't follow the rules. i always feel that i NEED to have one GREAT item on my whole appearance.
    and most of the times is, i show it on my handbag...
  13. Wow! I totally empathize with you. I thought that I was the only one who felt like this. Sometimes I feel like a hamster on a wheel.

    Its not something to COMPLAIN about bc I feel fortunate to be able to do these things (get my hair done, shop, etc) but sometimes I feel like it is overkill!

    Thanks for creating this thread...you put so eloquently into words what I have been feeling!
  14. I have 2 small kids and I'm pregnant with my 3rd. It used to be that I couldn't leave the house unless I liked the way I look(and this was entirely for my own self) but now, forget-about-it. It's almost impossible to get the time for myself and I'd love to look nice every day so I hear you.
    I am getting an expensive hair cut this Saturday so I hope that'll make me feel better! I think definitely being in a big city like NY doesn't helps since everyone wants to look great. It's everywhere with celebs and magazines and newspapers! Although I do think people are different I think in general we care about how our appearances make us feel. A great bag is like a great pair of shoes to someone or a great manicure or a great haircut. Whaddayathink? :yes:
  15. I'd like to weigh less and be more toned, but I'm not repulsed by my body.
    I went through the 'My body is HIDEOUS' period before my spinal fusion and then later before my breast lift. (I went through my sophomore year happy to fially have good posture. A couple of years after college, I realized how much I hated my chest. The size was fine but I had too much skin.)

    I'm curvy. I accept that. I'll never look like a Victoria's Secret model (I think I look more like those women in the Rembrandt paintings) and I'm okay with that.

    I think what got to me was my mother being repulsed by my body. She says I'm beautiful when she's in a good mood. At the same time, she tends to go for the jugular when she's mad so I've heard everything from she's emabarrassed to be seen with me to I was was big as a house.)

    I did go through a period where I thought if I lost weight and got in shape, maybe mom would show me more affection and approval. Later on, I realized that while I love her dearly, I don't particularly like her right now. She's got a toxic personality and I don't need to be around that all the time. (She's also extrememly controlling, so my apartment moving day became her apartment moving day. I let her take charge, because I've leared my lesson all those moving in days in college. I dared to voice my opinions.It's gotten to where I'm going to have to do some damage control so that my wedding doesn't become her wedding, but that's an entirely different topic.)