Ever Feel Like You Need New Friends?

#16
I felt this way a while back too...I had cut out a friend who I discovered was lying to me, and because of this managed to alienate a whole group of mutual friends who took her side. My options were (1) forgive the liar and have a bunch of *clearly* fake friends around, or (2) forget them all and reconnect with other groups of more distant friends and meet new people. I went with (2) and it was the best decision I could have made. I know it's different from your situation, but I guess the whole idea of needing to seek new people is still there.

I would recommend just relaxing, trying to be as social as possible, taking opportunities that you know will lead you to situations where you'll get to meet people. I've found finding close friends is a weird, trial-by-error type thing. I met one of my two closest friends because we were both always late for a class that we had together in first year, and I met the other one while randomly walking home from a party at the same time.
 
#17
Leelee said:
Yes, I understand. We change, we move on, we develop different interests, whatever the case may be. Easing out of a close friendship can be emotional, but it is also healthy. Sometimes things just don't "work" anymore.
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ITA, leelee...friends come in and out of our lives for different reasons. Honestly, I don't think of a friend needing to be a friend forever'n'ever. That's not meant to sound cold, it just has been my experience.

Some of my closest friends are those I made in college...the kind where you can just pick up after a good length of time where you left off and not have to give eachother a hard time for not keeping in touch. Kids, husbands, jobs, etc...it takes time!
 
#18
Yes..I'm feeling like that now. I do have friends but it's like I don't have much in common with any of them.
I just have one more year of high school left with them..and I can't wait to get to university for the chance to meet a lot more people.
 
#19
Ahh.. sometimes my friends just feel completely wrong to me. I start thinking "why did I ever want to become friends with this person?" but then after I spend some time with that person it all becomes clear!
 
#20
Oh wow, if I cant relate to this!!!!!! I honestly...have one friend I can talk to on a regular basis and not get bored of, or aggravated with. I have known her for 15 years and she is honestly my best friend. BUT..she lives in another state!:crybaby:I feel like its sooo hard to find people who relate to me. Every time we make plans, they flake EVERY SINGLE TIME! Is that what true friendship is? I have decided, I'm not going to write them off...but I am going to stop making plans with them. I now call them acquaintances instead of friends. I have my BF, hes all I need:tup:. haha. Its really really hard to find real friends here in Vegas. It seems like everyone is fake as hell and/or caught up in the party life big time! I also have goals in life, and I feel like everyone else is content with where they are in life. I dunno...friends depress me lmao.
For instants, last year around Xmas time...I totally dropped one of my friends whom I had been friends with since elementary school. She had a baby, and jsut became totally dependent on her sister to keep a roof over her head, ME to babysit(!!), ME to take her around town to her doc appointments etc, then she lost her job and refused to go look for a new one. It just became very apparent to me that she was using me, and was just going to have pretty much a dead end life. I cant say I don't miss her a little, but at the same time I know our friendship was NOT healthy for me. I am much happier without her using me, and her depending on me for things that she needs to be taking care of herself.
Ok, this became a therapy session for me.. lmao!
Im sooo happy other people feel the same way though! I thought I was just mean lmao
 
#21
Pursegrrl said:
ITA, leelee...friends come in and out of our lives for different reasons. Honestly, I don't think of a friend needing to be a friend forever'n'ever. That's not meant to sound cold, it just has been my experience.

Some of my closest friends are those I made in college...the kind where you can just pick up after a good length of time where you left off and not have to give eachother a hard time for not keeping in touch. Kids, husbands, jobs, etc...it takes time!
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I totally agree with you. My 2 closests friends in the world, live so flippn far from me - one in another country - and i have no clue when I will see either of them....and sometimes months go by w/ no contact due to our busy lives.....HOWEVER, w/ that said....we can pick righ up every time and its like not a day has gone by.

Im so glad this thread was posted, because im right in the middle of my friends issue and am still mourning over the loss....even though the loss is a healthy loss.

*sigh*
 
#22
This topic just so right ... I know how you feel cos I always feel it and think why it's so hard to find a really good friend. Not easy to find those kind of friends who I can trust and talk deeply ... and still have a fun crazy time.
After college, everybody just change ... cancell appointment on the last minute etc :sad:
Just sad. Even not getting luck with new friends ... they are nice but you don't feel like it ... kwim ...

My DH is my best friend :smile: ... but you still need GF who can talk so fun bout purses, aren't we :graucho:
 
#23
Thank you gals SOOO SOOOO much for all your replies. You know don't how good it feels to read your comments and know that I'm not the only one who feels this way and it doesn't make me a monster. Because I feel so guilty sometimes for thinking this way. :sad:

I guess the saying boyfriends and and go, but friends stay forever is not so true. People change, WE change and sometimes we're just not meant for each other anymore. I'm still going to stay in contact with these two girls and have chats with them every once in a while but not feel so disappointed with not being as close as we used to.
 
#24
I wish I had a group of girlfriends I could turn to for ANYTHING, but I just don't feel that way. Some are just "going out" buddies, others are just s*****y friends that ignore my phone calls + bail on me constantly (not really "friends," are they?), and a few that I've known since middle/high school, but we aren't as close as we once were. I try not to stress about it. I know that I have a select few good people around me. :yes:
 
#29
been going through similar drama in life...as a person who can hardly accept change, transitioning into adulthood after college has been quite a wake up call for me. a lot of the friendships that I thought were genuine and forever have now dissipated into thin air. luckily, i still have some great friends and a best friend who are around...i've just been used to having a very large social circle, so it's hard to adjust? :shrugs:

either way, i think there comes a time when you realize that people are constantly changing and you can't expect others to change at the same rate as you. it doesn't mean youre a bad or mean person, it just means it's time to move on to a different chapter.

i found a great quote that pretty much sums up all my lost friendships: "clinging on to the past is the problem. embracing change is the answer" :yes: :yes: :yes:
 
#30
lamiastella said:
New friends? Hell, I just need friends. :sad:
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lamiastella, I can be your friend!

And azia, I can completely relate. I only have 2 girlfriends that I can totally count on with deep stuff but each has a different set of quirks that get on my nerves sometimes. I've stopped frequenting one of them because of this. The other I put up with because she is the sweetest and most caring person and bestest friend you can ever have. And the problem is just that she talks out of her ass most of the time, so I can deal.

You're not alone. It's normal for people to grow distant even though they're close. We all change with time and experience and it's nothing to feel bad about. A big hug!
 
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