Etiquette Hell

I used to work in Victoria's Secret, and one day a woman comes into the store and asks me for my help. She is going to be a bridesmaid and she needs a bra to go under the dress. I show her the selection of bras and one of them is the exact same color as the bridesmaid dress (a very light green). Even though we had that particular color, I suggested she get a nude bra. It would look better under the dress than the green one because the nude blends with the woman's skin. Also, she could wear that after the wedding. Her response: "I don't know, I have to check with the bride first." I know the bride decides the bridesmaids dress but I didn't realize her jurisdiction extended to what underwear the bridesmaids would wear. (The bride did agree with me that the nude one would work better, though).


^^ I wrote this, submitted it and then forgot about it!
 
I had been friends with Jill since 4th grade. While we drifted apart toward the end of high school, we kept in touch from time to time while we were in college. Her boyfriend, later fiancé, attended the same college I did, and occasionally we would get together when she visited him.
Jill and Jack got engaged. She is happy, he seems, well, disinterested. I had concerns about this. They are planning a small wedding that they are financing themselves--punch and cake after a small ceremony.
One evening I got a call from the bride to be. And these are her exact words..."I really need a brunette in the wedding party. My sister and I were talking about who it should be, and she thinks you are pretty, so would you like to be a bridesmaid?"
I honestly thought she was joking. I do have a warped sense of humor, as do my friends. I wasn't really inclined to do this, but my mom convinced me that it would be fun--shopping for dresses and parties, so I agreed.
A few weeks later, another phone call. "We have the pattern and material for your dress, when can you pick it up?" I knew we would be making the dresses, with the budget and all, no problem. But I thought at least I'd get to shop a little!
The wedding is now approaching, and I haven't heard anything about a shower or bachelorette party. I called the MOH. She wasn't home, so I left a message. Days went by. No call. I made a second call. No response.
I felt sorry for Jill, thinking she was being ignored. So I invited her out to dinner and gave her a filmy nightgown as a fun gift. She was appreciative.
Now it is the week of the wedding. The bride called to tell me to be sure my dress is clean and ironed!!! Hmmm. Never would have thought to do that, good thing she mentioned it.
Day of the wedding. Groom is late. I had serious concerns that he might not show up, based on his rude comment at the rehearsal dinner--"I don't want to get married!"
Well, the groom did show. The wedding was nice. The bridal party was nicely balanced with blondes and brunettes. Yes, it was true, Bride--blonde, Groom-- brunette. MOH--blonde. Best Man--brunette. Me--brunette, my escort--blonde. One more bridesmaid--blonde, her escort--brunette.
The cake was delicious. The party was over. I made plans with my then-husband and parents to go out to dinner. As I gathered up my clothes, I realized I had accidentally picked up someone's slip, so I decided to drop by the bride's parents' house to return it. It was easy to find the house because of the numerous cars parked up and down the street and the enormous party going on! Yes, there was a huge party to celebrate the wedding! I dropped off the slip, and the bride's father asked if I wanted to stay for a drink. No thanks, I have plans.
Not only that, but the third bridesmaid (blonde) let it slip that there had been a bridal shower but I hadn't been invited, because "we knew you wouldn't want to come."
So I guess the bride wasn't kidding when she said she needed a brunette bridesmaid LOL. It would have been easier to put a brunette cardboard cutout up at the altar!
I don't remember how long the marriage lasted, but it did end in divorce. Hope this made you laugh--it did me!
 
When my husband and I got married, we were determined to have a nice wedding, but equally determined to avoid spending an insane amount of money on the event, as we had seen so many of our previously married friends do. Our biggest priority was that everyone have a wonderful time, therefore we spent the largest portion of our budget on great food, drinks and music.

We still wanted to have many of the components to a more expensive wedding (i.e. favors, table centerpieces, etc.) so to save money, I handmade most of these items, and spent a great deal of time to make everything look professionally done. One of the things I did, which took quite a bit of time, is to create small origami boxes to place at each setting. The boxes were filled with candy and a poem, and had the guest's name printed on the top, in lieu of place cards. They turned out great, but took forever to custom print out and fold. I thought it was worth it though, as they looked really elegant when placed on the tables. I had also purchased a beautiful frame and used it to hold the seating chart for the reception hall. It was placed near the entrance to the hall, so everyone could easily find their name/table as they walked in to sit down. All was in place on the day of the wedding, as my husband and I greeted guests at the reception. My husband's friend Randy arrived, and we noticed immediately that he did not have a guest with him, as specified on his RSVP. We asked him where his date was, and he smirked and said something about her not being able to make it. Ok, here's where it gets good, the name he listed as his "date" on the RSVP card was Jane Doe. So,¦as with all of my guests, I had handmade a place card box with her name printed on it, and also of course included her name on the seating chart. Well, it turns out that Jane Die is a porn star (who knew? not me obviously!) and he wrote her name down as a joke! Everyone got a good laugh over this, even me (after some time had gone by), but I did think it was VERY bad taste on his part.
 
I don't know that this is really a faux pas, but I thought it was funny and kind of cute since the bride and groom didn't mind. My husband's cousin got married in a beautiful setting - it was an outdoor wedding on one of the Rocky Mountains just outside of Boulder, CO. It was in a State Park, so although they got permission to conduct their ceremony there and had the site reserved, it was a public place. Right as the ceremony was about to begin, a family of tourists wandered onto the site. They didn't speak a lot of English, and we didn't speak any Japanese, but we were able to communicate well enough to explain that we were having a wedding. They stayed to watch, and even had us take some pictures of them (with their camera) posed with the bride after the ceremony. The bride didn't mind as she is a very open and gracious person, and this was a fairly casual ceremony. They are in the background of some of the more candid wedding pictures which makes it even funnier, and whenever we talk about the wedding at family gatherings, someone always brings up "The Tourists."
 
I used to work in Victoria's Secret, and one day a woman comes into the store and asks me for my help. She is going to be a bridesmaid and she needs a bra to go under the dress. I show her the selection of bras and one of them is the exact same color as the bridesmaid dress (a very light green). Even though we had that particular color, I suggested she get a nude bra. It would look better under the dress than the green one because the nude blends with the woman's skin. Also, she could wear that after the wedding. Her response: "I don't know, I have to check with the bride first." I know the bride decides the bridesmaids dress but I didn't realize her jurisdiction extended to what underwear the bridesmaids would wear. (The bride did agree with me that the nude one would work better, though).


^^ I wrote this, submitted it and then forgot about it!
 
Oops! I'll admit that I was (kind of) the one at fault here, but I just couldn't help myself. Luckily, I think only a few people heard what was going on and, therefore, the damage contained.

My uncle and his (wonderful) girlfriend of several years decided to finally get married last year. Our family traveled several hours to the event, which turned out to be one of the best weddings I've ever been to. The location was a gorgeous country club and the meal was splendid. The faux pas occurred during the ceremony itself.

The bride, being childless herself, had appointed her new "step-daughter" (my cousin) as well as a some varied nieces and nephews for the duty of being in the wedding party. Which, normally, would have been just fine, except for the OPEN BAR that was going on for at least an hour before the actual ceremony. The only one in the wedding party (minus the bride and groom, of course) that was of legal drinking age was my cousin who was hugely pregnant at the time.

The nieces and nephews, who were probably 16-18 years of age had been sneaking drinks at the bar, in the coat room and in the parking lot for quite a while before the actual ceremony. No one seemed to notice this, or in any event, just overlooked it.

The ceremony began and before the vows, one of the nephews goes to the podium to read that bit about how "love is not selfish, love is never boastful" that is read in every wedding. Except, instead of saying, "love is not selfish" in his drunken state, he slurs, "Love is never a shellfish." Yes, ladies and gentlemen, love IS never an aquatic invertebrate. I heard that and simply burst out laughing. The nephew, bless his heart, never missed a beat and just kept plugging along.

I tried to contain my laughter, but my mother, having heard exactly what I heard began to chuckle as well. Before you knew it, the two of us were trying so hard not to laugh that tears were rolling down our cheeks. And, of course, the harder you try to stop laughing, the harder you end up laughing. Luckily, we were seated near the back and I don't think the bride and groom heard our inappropriate laughter. Every time I thought I got myself under control, I would picture lobsters in wedding attire and just start all over again.

So, although I don't think my faux pas is the worst I've ever heard, I still feel bad about it. The bottom line, however, is that some people should keep a better eye on the open bar and who, exactly, is being served. Otherwise, you may end up with an unintentional comedian.
 
My cousin "Rose" planned her wedding for the middle of June in the deep south. Not so bad until I was asked to be one of twelve Bridesmaids. Then found out it would be a formal wedding at 10:00 AM. Yes 10 o'clock in the morning in a warehouse style church. They turned off all the lights and just have the two candelabra for lighting. After all twelve bridesmaids, 4 flower girls,2 ring bearers, Bride makes her grand entrance in the $1500.00 dress that she has to turn sideways to fit through he door. The pastor had the one of those book lights on to see the vows. Wedding goes fine. Then move on to the reception. For months I had heard about the elaborate meal planned. KFC for everybody. Needless to say marriage lasted about 3 months. Oh did I forget to mention groom won bride in a poker game........
 
This story is actually about me when I was in a wedding about 25 years ago. I was 3 years old and was the flower girl for my aunt's wedding. I had begun my journey down the aisle with the ring bearer by my side, and as I recognized people in their seats I walked up to them, lifted my pretty little dress to show my new pink ruffle panties I had on that day. My mom says that everyone was roaring with laughter. I'm told I stopped about 4 times, and nobody stopped me until I got to the very front pew. I lifted my dress for the last time to show the church my new panties with delight! My grandfather pulled me up into his lap, and there I sat until the ceremony was over. My aunt that was married that day swore to me when she heard I was recently engaged that she would have revenge on my wedding day. :biggrin: She jokingly said with a smile that she'll "get me back" when I least expect it. Nothing was done on my wedding day to embarrass me, but just knowing in the back of my mind that she might have something up her sleeve was payback enough! Thanks for letting me share my story.
 
One bride insisted that her adorable 2-year-old nephew would make a great ring-bearer. With careful rehearsal, he knew he was supposed to hold the pillow, walk up the aisle, stand next to his dad (a groomsman), and when Grandma gave him the signal, he could step down and sit next to her for the duration of the wedding. He was a smart little guy, and it looked like everything would be just fine. The wedding started, the men filed in...the bridesmaids went up the aisle, and then it was the ring-bearers turn. He took two steps, then stopped. "Go ahead, honey," the bride stage-whispered to him.
He looked confused, so everybody thought he was scared. The FOB said, "It's okay sport, Grandpa's right behind you. Go ahead." The poor little guy squatted down right where he was and started to grunt. Any mom could tell you what that child was doing, and Grandpa figured it out too. So he tried to bring the boy back into the hall, because the grunting was pretty loud. The little boy glared at his grandfather and shouted, "NO! I AM POOPING!!!"
 
My friend whom we'll call Jennifer and her 3 year old daughter whom we'll call Evelyn have this story. Mother and daughter have always been very close and the youngster often "helps" mummy get dressed Evelyn particularly enjoys dressing for formal events. Sometimes Evelyn wanted to be just like mommy and would wear undershirts and matching panties. Jennifer dressed Evelyn with care the day of the wedding of a distant relative. Evelyn had chosen yellow matching undergarments for that day.
During the ceremony when the officiant got to the part where they ask if anyone present can show just cause why the couple may not be joined of course the usual silence ensued. Suddenly to my friend's horror her 3 year old suddenly yelled out, "Heelllo! I'm wearing a lellow bra and panties under my dress today!" It was a few moments before everyone could compose themselves and continue with the ceremony.