Etiquette debate: Non-paying children on public buses

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  1. Admin, I was not sure where to post this. If this is in the wrong section, please move. Thank you.

    This happened to me this evening and I felt so strongly about it that I had to write about it here to get some feedback.

    I was commuting home from work with my 4 yr old son, as I do every day. We got on our bus from NYC to NJ. Bus was crowded as always. We managed to find a seat for both of us. My son is under 5 so he rides for free. 3 people come on the bus and there is nomore space so they stand. A 4th man comes on the bus and asks if I could put my son on my lap. I told him that my son is 60 pounds and I have knee issues so I am not putting him on my lap. The man then asks, "Did he pay a fare?" I told him that he is only 4 so he did not pay a fare. The man then said that my son was not entitled to a seat since he did not pay a fare.

    At that point, I was more than annoyed. Here is this healthy, able-bodied man, of about 45 years of age, bothering me for my son's seat. I told him that if he wanted to sit that badly, he could have my seat. He, of course, did not turn me down. I didnt think the jerk would actually allow me, a woman, to get up for him. After I got up, I started to get angry. I yelled. I said that I could not believe that he is forcing a 6-months pregnant woman to get up for him. He then said that he didnt realize I was pregnant and would not have asked if he knew and he tried to get up for me. By that point, I was already up and pissed off and I refused. I forced him to sit in MY seat when my big belly stuck out in his face. I know he was really embarassed by then.

    I feel that he should not have asked me for my sons seat to begin with. And then to allow me to get up for he could sit. Am I wrong? Just because my son is non paying, does that mean he is not entitled to a seat? If that were true, then would senior citizens who only paid half price be entitled to only half a seat??

    What do you all think?
  2. That guy was OUT OF LINE. I hope he was so humiliated at his horrid behavior that he feels it for a long time. And that it affects his behavior for the better in the future!

    Children are people, too.
  3. wow..Thats the rudest thing I have ever heard.I woulda made your kid squirm and smack him around the whole ride home.What a P*ICK!
  4. No you are not wrong. That is shockingly rude. Wow. :amazed:
  5. You're son has full entitlement to a damn seat. He is with his mom, why would he pay?

    What an *******! There is some strange behaviour going on, is it a full moon?
  6. WOW. He was totally out of line. I'm glad you mad it known how inconsiderate he was on the bus. Did the bus driver or anybody stood up for you?
  7. I'm so sorry to read about you having to deal with such a rude man on the bus. The rudeness of some people never ceases to amaze me. Did any other passengers chime in about his attitude? Some people will complain about anything. It must suck to be him.
  8. Oh my, that was completely uncalled for! IMO, it doesn't matter if your son paid a fair or not! He's alive and breathing, isn't he? Then he deserves a seat on that much just as much as any other person.
  9. There was a woman in the seat in front of mine who tried to get up for me when I gave the man my seat. I thanked her but refused her offer. I wasnt going to leave my child in the seat behind me sitting next to a rude man who insisted on either my son or myself giving up our seat for him.

    After I told him I was pregnant, he seemed embarassed. But I dont think whether I am pregnant or not has anything to do with it. I think he should never have asked for my son's seat. I could understand if my kid was 1 or 2 and weighed 20-25 pounds. My 4 yr old looks like a 7-yr old and wears 7-yr old clothing and weighs just as much as a 7 yr old.

    And where does it ever state that just because you ride for free, you are not entitled to a seat? Isnt it first come first served? I also ride the NYC subway. It is crowded all the time. I can't imagine someone coming onto the trains and asking a mother to pick her child up from the seat so that they could sit down. This is the same situation but on the bus. I keep replaying this in my head and thinking about how I should not have gotten up for him. I guess in my mind, I didnt think he would actually go so far as to allow me to give my seat up for him.

    I am sorry to rant over something so trivial at a time when so many people have it so much worse than me. But then again, I am a believer in everything happens for a reason. And perhaps this incident was to teach that scum of a human being a lesson.
  10. ugh!! I'm getting mad just reading this. what a complete a__hole!! what the hell is wrong with this man? pregnant or not, he shouldn't have asked for your child's seat and he shouldn't have accepted your seat. a woman and child and elderly don't come first??? what's wrong with our men these days? I know chivalry is so dead but I guess just common decency too. how sad...
  11. Ugh that was way out of line. It doesn't matter that your son didn't pay. You didn't come up with the rule that children don't pay a fare and there's nothing that says they don't get their own seat. I would have told him that if he has a problem with it he can go take it up with the bus driver.
  13. ITA!!... btw idk what your avatar means but totally cracks me up!!
  14. WOW. wtf. people are ridiculous. seriously. be a man.
  15. #15 Jan 29, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2010
    what a gentleman! Jerk. I hope he was embarrassed. Some people haven't got a clue.:nogood: