Engagement ring?

TPF may earn a commission from merchant affiliate
links, including eBay, Amazon, and others

yes.please

O.G.
Sep 19, 2006
1,712
5
A quick question...

What would you do if you received a engagement ring that you didnt love from the man you did? Not necessarily one that you didn't like, just not the one you were hoping for?

Say something and exchange it? Or keep it because of sentimental reasons?
 
i would first see how he feels about it first, my fi is more laid back about those kinds of things. the way he thinks is i would be wearing it for the rest of my life, so i should be happy with it. but on the other hand, ur fi might be more traditional and sedamental about it and believe that its a gift regardless and u should be happy with what that ring means. If thats the case, maybe wear if for a couple of years and try the topic again maybe upgrading it, or changing the setting, he may not be so reluctant in the future. But before all this i would just carefully apporach this to see if he even minds, and when i say carefully, just incase he might get hurt that u don't really like the ring. hope thsi helps
 
from experience: guys are really sensitive about this stuff. do you have pictures that you could post? some things are worth just swallowing and dealing with, but if it's really bad you have to say something. it's your lifetime and your happiness, and while you can always "upgrade" the engagement ring, you are eventually going to get a wedding band to compliment it, and that's not something you'll want to trade in for something else down the road.

ex. If you wanted white gold or platinum and got yellow gold... tell him.
If you wanted a round brilliant cut diamond solitaire and got a princess cut... suck it up and drop hints for the 5/10 year anniversary.
If you got pear, marquis, or heart shape and/or the new Tiff. ring with the yellow gold and the bees --> look deep inside yourself. can you live with bees on your wedding band for the next 50 years? you have to say something if it's out there, and it's not "you."

hope this helps!
 
thanks for the advice...

i dont have the ring yet- my sister asked me if i would say yes to a pear shaped solitaire (she was supposed to make sure it was a round brilliant solitaire haha )

im sure its the right color and size- and the shape of a pear is beautiful just not what i envisioned. certainly not as tacky the schlumberger bee ring though (sorry if you love it!!)
 
When you get it. squeeeee like girl and give him a BIG hug! Then, after you've worn it for a few days...and provided, of course, that you just don't see that ring on your finger for years, ask him if he wouldn't mind going with you to pick out something different...together (and make plans to go out to eat at his favorite place as a "thank you".

Hope it works out for you!
 
Well, you could make up a "practical" excuse, such as, "Oh, this ring is so beautiful but the pointy end of it keeps getting caught on things ... I'd hate to have something happen to it. Could we exchange it for a round one instead?" That way it looks as if you're not exchanging it because you don't like it.
 
This hits close to home. My DH and I looked at a million rings prior to getting engaged. I gave him a lot of good ideas about what it was that I wanted and let him go on his own. He planned an amazing proposal that knocked me off of my seat but when I saw the ring my heart sank a little because although it has prettymuch everything I suggested it just wasn't what I thought would be "the one." Anyway, my DH was extremely proud of what he picked and there was no way I was going to break his heart. Anyway, that was 4 years ago and I haven't upgraded orchanged my ring and prob. won't. It has grown on me and I get a lot of compliments on it. Iam glad that I never brought up my initial reluctance about the ring. It wouldn't have been very good for our relationship.
 
rileygirl... thanks for sharing. i've decided that no matter what it is- it will be perfect. i think i was being a little to materialistic and i'm sure he wouldn't get me anything totally awful anyway. :)
 
Top