email of the day ( English 101)

  1. Megs and I welcomed our baby boy earlier this month and wanted to share the news with the TPF community. Come say hello to Baby Vaughn!
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  1. WOMAN'S ENGLISH

    No = Yes.

    Maybe = No.

    We need = I want.

    I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.

    We need to talk = I need to complain.

    Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to.

    Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

    I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

    Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead.

    You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

    Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

    You're so ... manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

    Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

    It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

    You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

    I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

    How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like.


    MEN'S ENGLISH:

    I'm hungry = I'm hungry.

    I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.

    I'm tired = I'm tired.

    Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

    I love you = Let's have sex now.

    I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

    What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question.

    May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.

    Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.

    Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

    Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

    Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

    You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next ten minutes.

    Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.

    I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay


    :lol:
     
  2. LOL nice!
     
  3. LMAO!

    "Do you love me?"=Can I have a Louis Vuitton bag?
     
  4. hahaaha, I love the last one from the men's english! LOL
     
  5. Others for women's english:

    Size doesn't matter = It is SMALL!

    Don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys = It only happens to you.