Does the thought of a seriously disabled child worry you?

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  1. Hi

    For those who have ever thought of / had kids, did it ever worry you about the thought of having a seriously disabled child that would be dependent on you for the rest of its life?

  2. Honestly, yes it did and more than I care to admit!

    I found out I was pregnant with triplets and I understood the risks associated with severe prematurity.

    Early in the pregnancy, baby B did not survive and the pregnancy reduced itself to twins. I remember feeling sad and --THIS IS HARD TO ADMIT, SO PLEASE DO NOT STONE ME TO DEATH-- unapologetically relieved. My husband and I could have afforded to raise the triplets and my relief was simply due to the fact that the pregnancy was no longer so high-risk from the viewpoint of prematurity.

    I was also worried enough with the twins that --although neither my family history nor my age (28) corelated w/ an increased risk for Down's syndrome-- I decided to do both the nuchal translucency test and chorionic villous sampling to make sure the twins were healthy.

    When I got the results last week and found out they were a healthy boy and girl, I was more relieved than ever in my life...

    So, while I'd love to say that it did not matter either way, my truth is that it mattered big time!
  3. Yes all the time. I worry about my baby being healthy and normal, being able to enjoy life like everybody else. I think it's human to worry, especially us women:p. But sometimes you've gotta pull yourself back and try to focus on the positives.
  4. I realize that it can happen to anyone, but statistically the risks are so low that I really didn't worry too much. I refused tests like the triple screen because they factored in variables like my age and race into it and the rate of false-positives with some screenings is too high for my comfort. Of course, I did have ultrasounds and was relieved when all the measurements came back normal.

    Even at age 40, a woman has a 98% chance of having a perfectly healthy baby. Granted, that risk is exponentially higher than a 25 year old woman who has far less than a 1% chance, but they are still odds I'd play anyday. To me, the real worry began AFTER they were born! I am so concerned something could happen to them that I never stop worrying!
  5. This is one of my biggest fears in life!!!
  6. yes i'm worried and when i told my hubby my fears (many others stuff too :p) he replied from the day we are conceive worrying for the child will be life long. i agree.
  7. Absolutely, I worried everyday of my pregnancy that I was going to have a handicapped or disabled child. :sad:
  8. I definetly worry about this! There is a history of Cyctic Fibrosis on my dad's side of the family, so I think it will be wise of us to do some testing after we conceive.

    The statistics for Autism are ASTOUNDING! And at 30, I'm no spring chicken...
  9. Yes. I worried about this through out my pregnancy.
  10. I think it's a perfectly normal fear... I had problematic pregnancies with preterm labor so that fear was very real to me. Luckily I held on to 35 & 36 weeks with my kids & they were both healthy~
  11. Yes, I was worried. I was young when I had both kids (under 26), but who knew what lurked in our genes?
  12. My brother (now 30) had a healthy pregancy (in mum) and was oxygen deprived during labour. He has cerebral palsy. Mum was told not to bother educating him past about 7 years old, he wouldn't cope with more. He is now married to a lovely girl who happens to be a doctor, is himself a lawyer, a witty bloke and a good mate (still has same friends since primary school). He has ongoing physical problems ( is about to have botox injections to stop his calf muscles from cramping) but takes it as it comes. So while he is a "disabled" person, he is a good husband and mate and is an advocate for persons with disabilities in a legal sense. Moral of the story, don't despair, everybody has potential in them!
  13. I was very scared my entire pregnancy, and at one point the doctor determined that there was a risk factor for cystic fibrosis. We opted to not have an amniocentesis due to risk of injury to the baby. Much to our relief, our now soon to be 4yr old is fine!
  14. I never gave it much thought, considering my husband and I came from good stock. At age 38, I gave birth to ds2. By age 3, he was diagnosed Autistic and started early intervention immediately. It really changed our lives, because up until almost age 2, he was a perfectly neurotypical baby and then he began to change. We love him very much, he's such a beautiful child. Lately, it's been really rough going and it's impacting the whole family because of behaviors that are out of his control.

    In our case, it's really heartbreaking to think about what may happen in the future... who is going to care for him when we're gone, will he be alright in the future, things like that.

    But we have to carry on, caring for a disabled child just brings your commitment to a different level. You don't love your child more than another parent; it's just the outlook (overall) that changes. You need to adjust your whole approach and perspective to meet the demands of your child's disability.... it just takes as much emotional and physical investment as you are willing to sacrifice like any parent in order for your child to grow up knowing they are cared for, and to make sure no harm comes their way.
  15. That is such a lovely and inspiring story.