Does she deserve a designer bag?

TPF may earn a commission from merchant affiliate
links, including eBay, Amazon, and others

Vintage Leather

Vintage Leather

Bag Lady
O.G.
Jan 30, 2007
6,850
10,143
#1
My best friend's much younger sister is having her sixteenth birthday. The only gift she asked for was a designer bag - my friend thought she asked for a Versace. My friend, with a well paying job, decided to go for it - you only turn 16 once, and why not give an extravagent gift? Not carrying desiger items herself, she asked me to shop for it.
I was thrilled. Nothing is as fun as spending other people's money. But before I started shopping, I called to confirm - "Versace, right? any particular style?"
My friend informed me that her sister 1) wanted a Vera Bradley purse, and 2) convinced her boyfriend to buy it. So the sister asked for cash.
Personally, if I had an older sister willing to buy me Versace, I'd convince my bf that T&Co. made excellent 16th bday gifts, for about the same price as the Vera Bradley purse.
In disgust, my friend decided her sister didn't deserve a designer bag, and is giving her $50.
Is this reaction too harsh? I personally was disgusted by the sister's reaction, but we were all a bit dumb at 16...
 
#3
Wow, that seems a bit harsh. It seems like your friend is punishing her sister for liking Vera Bradley. Her younger sister is sure to have her feelings hurt, and probably won't understand why.
 
#4
ITA. I didn't really care about designer bags when I was 16, I just carried whatever my parents got me, which were Coach and D&B bags. The one bag I did pick out for myself was when I was 17 and it was the LV monogram pochette.
 
#5
passerby said:
IMHO the reaction by your friend is too harsh. Nothing wrong with preferrring Vera Bradley to Versace, especially at the tender age of 16 :smile1:
Click to expand...

I agree. That's the whole point to having free will: So we can decide what we want, not what others want. In fact, I find it to be sweet and conscientious of the younger sister to not ask for something extravagant like Versace, but asked for a Vera Bradley bag instead.
 
#6
Keep in mind - the sister was only asking for a $90 gift and she doesn't know she almost got $2000 worth of purse. I don't think she's going to be hurt by the gift of $50 per se.
Personally, I think the phrase "doesn't deserve" is what struck me as being harsh.
 
#8
Ithink it is a very harsh reaction - maybe there is more going on.

If your friend feels like her gift now cannot compete with the boyfriend's gift, I would try to suggest to her that she gets her sister a piece of jewelry from Tiffany's.

Guaranteed it will be around long after the Vera Bradley purse...
 
#9
I think the reaction is a bit out of line. Gifts of celebration, whether for birthdays or Christmas or graduation etc, need to be given out of love of the recipient. You should only ever give them what they want, within your means.

I gave my little sister a pair of perfect 10mm South Sea pearl studs for her 16th birthday. They cost $2300AUD and the look on her face when she opened them was sooooo gorgeous. My brother, who's in the Navy, couldn't afford to spend that much and he bought her 5 DVDs she'd wanted for ages for about $200. She loved that gift just as much (but then again, she's exceptionally sweet).

Maybe if your friend was willing to consider buying a $2000 bag for her sister and she's now asked for cash, your friend should consider putting aside a large amount in a deposit fund with a financial institution for her sister, rather than a small amount which will probably be spent in no time.
 
#10
^ Bitten, a most excellent idea for the deposit fund. That is what I received on my sweet 16th.

To the OP, I think your friend is over-reacting a bit... at 16, most girls are still reading Seventeen magazine, not Vogue. She should have given the amount in cash what it would have cost her to get her sister a Vera Bradley bag.

Oh, I must add that perhaps your friend is actually upset the present she was going to get was now being given by the boyfriend. Some people are like that, they feel as if the priviledge of giving a desired gift has been taken from them. (IMHExperience)
 
#11
Bitten said:
I think the reaction is a bit out of line. Gifts of celebration, whether for birthdays or Christmas or graduation etc, need to be given out of love of the recipient. You should only ever give them what they want, within your means.


Maybe if your friend was willing to consider buying a $2000 bag for her sister and she's now asked for cash, your friend should consider putting aside a large amount in a deposit fund with a financial institution for her sister, rather than a small amount which will probably be spent in no time.
Click to expand...

ITA with everything above!
 
#13
16 is still very young, and the poor girl probably doesn't understand her older sister's reasoning. I remember I did a few things that didn't make a whole lot of sense, either, at that age, especially when boyfriends are involved, and I certainly realize that now! Your friend should remember the important thing is that this is her SISTER, and certain things are more important that just a gift.
 
#15
I imagine the older sister isn't upset about the fact that her sister wanted a Vera Bradley instead of a Versace. That's just petty. I'd imagine older sister is upset because her younger sister asked HER for the purse, and then turned around and decided to have her boyfriend get it instead, after older sister already told her she was going to get it for her. So older sister goes to the trouble of getting her friend to shop for it, and older sister is excited about being able to give her younger sister a gift she'll love and remember forever, and then all of that is taken away when younger sister decides she wants her boyfriend to get it instead. It does seem a bit thoughtless on younger sister's part.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top