Family and Friends give you grief over your Handbag addiction?

[Amazona]

@RTone has it right - use your bags. I'm sure you're not getting into debt when purchasing and if you own a nice bag (or several), why not carry what you want?
Especially if you've made smart choices and good deals when purchasing, you can always say that you didn't pay much because you know how to find a bargain. Chances are, other people won't even pay attention to what you're carrying.

I've had some people judge me, but they have shut their mouths pretty quick when I remind them that I have never splurged on silly things like a car or trips to Bali (both of which seem silly things to buy from my perspective), and have paid for my bags out of my own pocket. It's not as I'm using their money. If I was, they would have the right to judge me. I actually gave a judgemental relative of mine the chance to purchase the right to judge; just buy me a Chanel GST and then you can judge me how ever much you want! Funny enough, they didn't take up on that...

 

[Cavalier Girl]

Private from friends and family? No, but there are definitely places I wouldn't carry an obviously expensive purse or jewelry. I've done a good bit of volunteering in the past, and using such items would have been greatly out of place and in poor taste. As far as work goes, would using your purses impede your chances of advancement? Something to consider.

 

[baghagg]

I find that most people (strangers, frienemies, neighbors, co-workers and unfortunately sometimes even family) will judge anything that they don't do until they do it! I guide myself accordingly, for better and for worse..

 

[rose60610]

Depends. Some friends/family members either won't care or would admire them, and you probably know the ones who could get judgmental. It's often not worth the hassle. Then there are situations where wearing a high end bag isn't appropriate IMO. I like Amazona's response, reminds me of the squabble a guy had with another about spending a lot on a saddle for her horse. Horse owner reminded him he spent over a thousand dollars on his new puppy which ended up costing him many more thousands in vet bills which he didn't seem to mind. He shut up. Everybody has their thing--bags, watches, cars, boats, pools, pets, vacations, hobbies--then the upkeep/insurance some require, etc.

 

[lenarmc]

You’re wasting your money.

I will never understand this attitude towards using your things that you bought with your money because of the feelings and judgements of others. I would say that I have this attitude because I was older, but I’ve always been like this. I just don’t care. Others opinions of me are not my business. I’m not going to spend a lot of money on anything then not wear/carry it the majority of the time because it might offend someone.

Wear and enjoy. I wish that I could have afforded to buy luxury items in my 20s! Stop hiding.

 

[Annawakes]

I’ve been judged. The only place I am careful about it is at work or with work colleagues outside of work. I don’t want anything *anything* to cloud their perception of me other than my work.

Other than work people, I’ll wear my bags wherever. People at church have noticed and commented (not in a mean way, just, wow, you have nice bags!)

Also. Real friends don’t make nasty judgy comments. I’ve told a few friends who couldn’t care less about bags, about my bag obsession and they were like, okay. Nothing more was said and they never notice what I’m using anyway.

sadly, I used to share each luxury bag purchase with my mom. I used to look out for bags she might like and even bought her a few LV’s. I stopped doing that when she one day said, “Haven't you spent enough on bags to buy a car already?” That was really hurtful. From then on I do not share any bags purchases with my mom anymore. I’ll use whatever I want when I see her but I don’t mention it and just act like I’ve always had it.

 

[Henelalee]

I feel the same here. Especially when living in the city/country that I'm living right now. When at my motherland, I feel normal when dressing up and carry my favourite purses. But now, I don't even want my in-laws know that I'm owning too much of expensive stuffs as their lifestyle is quite different and simple. Of course I don't think they will judge or say anything bad, it's just me not feeling of showing. But I tell everyone my deep love/humble knowledge of every piece that I own, the history and why I bought/love them. It's just because you buy it because you love it, not to showing off to feel rich or something. At the end, it's all about your personality that defines you, not anything else

 

[muchstuff]

I had someone throw shade at me for my “fancy car” ( a twenty year old Mercedes). Unless there are reasons at work where it could be an issue I say wear them and the heck with anyone’s opinion. Life’s too short and why should anyone else judge how you spend your money?

 

[RT1]

I had someone throw shade at me for my “fancy car” ( a twenty year old Mercedes). Unless there are reasons at work where it could be an issue I say wear them and the heck with anyone’s opinion. Life’s too short and why should anyone else judge how you spend your money?

+1.
Listen to this lady...she speaks the truth!
Don’t let other people’s opinions influence how you live your life.

 

[indiaink]

My question is: How does anybody outside of this forum have any idea about bags, anyway? The only reason one of my coworkers even knew about my bags is one day a box was delivered for me from Japan... and now I have a reputation for being a handbag person anyway; I found my boss a replacement Furla after hers was stolen last year (this bag hadn’t been out in years; it took me about 10 months to track one down). My other coworker is SO IMPRESSED! that I am an authenticator for BV. And then one is like ”you like this bag” and I’m like no, that’s Daniel Lee stuff, not MY BV. LOL.

OWN it. It’s your hobby, it’s your love, it’s what brings you happiness and joy. OWN IT and be content with yourself that you have nice things. If somebody comments on your bag (or your clothing, or your jewelry, or your car (hey, I drive a Mini Cooper, talk about getting frickin’ comments) just practice that wise smile (go ahead, go the bathroom, look in the mirror, smile wisely ... there it is, that’s it!) and say “thank you” or “yes, I enjoy it, thank you” or “I have no idea, I bought it at a yard sale/Goodwill/secondhand store.

You got it? OWN it, my dear. And enjoy.

 

[papertiger]

This is a question that many have.

Everyone's who commented is right in their assessment and in their experience, but you have to feel confident wearing your bags.

I wear bags seen previously and fairly regularly in front my family, not so much newer ones (don't need the l o n g conversation). I never wear logos/flash in front of in-laws, happily lots of H, BV and Gucci have no identifiers at all.

I work in fashion/media so everything is looked at, everything is assessed, everything is broken down in dates/£$E . My colleagues are very friendly and we all admire each others' outfits, accessories and enjoy the range of styles. Even so, I carry my Evelyne plus UTR Hermes or Gucci, leaving new bags/easily recognisable bags at home. It's important (for me) to dress appropriately, I can't do conventional, but I play down the 'quirky' edgy look a bit for work - I ned to be business-like, therefore, I would not carry my Chanel back pack that is black, but I would carry a bright green Hermes Garden Party and wear with a suit.

I think @miniwatt is very wise. If you don't feel confident wearing bags to work, there's probably a good reason for it. You must wear your bags sometimes though, to try you could allot one of your designer bags for work at first, just wear that one for a while. It's usually when people look like they're constantly flashing new stuff that people get all judge-y and jealous (even if vintage, per-loved, gifts etc).

 

[IntheOcean]

I don't come from money and no one in my circle of friends/relatives wears designer stuff. But I wear my bags and clothes around them regardless. I bought those items to enjoy them and that's what I'm going to do. Granted, most of these things are pretty low-key without any big logos front and center (except maybe for Prada) so they're more or less unrecognizable to an untrained eye. If someone asks how much my bag costs, I will tell, but I won't be volunteering that information if it's unwanted.

Also, that hasn't really happened to me yet, but in certain circumstances, I don't mind lying that my bag is fake, if I feel like the person asking might have an unpleasant reaction and cause some problems.

 

[RT1]

I don't come from money and no one in my circle of friends/relatives wears designer stuff. But I wear my bags and clothes around them regardless. I bought those items to enjoy them and that's what I'm going to do. Granted, most of these things are pretty low-key without any big logos front and center (except maybe for Prada) so they're more or less unrecognizable to an untrained eye. If someone asks how much my bag costs, I will tell, but I won't be volunteering that information if it's unwanted.

Also, that hasn't really happened to me yet, but in certain circumstances, I don't mind lying that my bag is fake, if I feel like the person asking might have an unpleasant reaction and cause some problems.

IMO, it takes either a good friend, or someone who is incredibly nosy, to ask how much your bag cost!
I mean it was your money that paid for it and it was something that touched you in a certain way, so you purchased it.
Why do people have to justify paying what they spend on anything.

I have friends that have to spend tons on money on cars, guns, jewelry, and especially, watches.
I have never asked one of them "How much did that cost you?" or "What did you spend for that?"
I think this borders on being a bit rude.

If you don't put yourself into debt, can feed yourself, and/or your family, and pay your monthly bills....it's no one's business what an item cost.

I try to justify my purchases on whether I like/love the item, can I afford it, and do I want to spend that much on an item at that particular moment.

 

[IntheOcean]

IMO, it takes either a good friend, or someone who is incredibly nosy, to ask how much your bag cost!
I mean it was your money that paid for it and it was something that touched you in a certain way, so you purchased it.
Why do people have to justify paying what they spend on anything.

I have friends that have to spend tons on money on cars, guns, jewelry, and especially, watches.
I have never asked one of them "How much did that cost you?" or "What did you spend for that?"
I think this borders on being a bit rude.

If you don't put yourself into debt, can feed yourself, and/or your family, and pay your monthly bills....it's no one's business what an item cost.

I try to justify my purchases on whether I like/love the item, can I afford it, and do I want to spend that much on an item at that particular moment.

I think it's mainly due to cultural differences. Where I live, it's very 'normal' to be asked how much you make or how much something cost you, not even by friends, but by absolute strangers. I don't like that one bit, so I don't ask anyone those kinds of questions.

I think when someone asks us how much the bag we're wearing is worth, at least half of the time it's because they're so far removed from this entire world that they have no idea what the difference is between Rebecca Minkoff and Celine, for instance. So it's often not them being rude, but being genuinely curious. But then again, perhaps I've just been lucky with the kind of people I'm socializing with.

I agree, we all have our 'toys', so to speak. I definitely don't strain my bank account by shopping for luxury. I don't spend much in general and I know what kinds of deals you can get on the preloved market.

 

[southernbelle43]

I don't have to hide them because where I live no one knows what they are. I am in a rural state, a rather poor state. My friends know my hobby involves handbags, but they never comment on them or ask about them. If anyone ever asked me what one costs, I would probably say, "more than I should have paid for it, lol."