Does anyone keep their luxury bag collection private from friends and family?

rickysakura

Member
Sep 6, 2019
49
107
Texas
Hello all!! I am in my 20s and just started collecting preloved bags - so far Chanel, Hermes, Fendi, Chloe, Loewe and LV. I don’t really feel comfortable wearing clear branding around my friends and family, and especially friends from work who would be judgmental. I know they would strike up a conversation about my bag when I’m just trying to go about my day. People will even comment on my Longchamp bags. Everyone I know is very frugal, carry fakes or can’t afford designer. I don’t even talk about designer, and when they bring up designer bags I just try to act dumb lol. :hrmm: Does anyone else keep their collection “private”? I’m satisfied with using my bags when going out with my DH, but I would love to get more use out of them without fear of affecting my close relationships or coming off as a spoiled overspender. :confused1:
 

RT1

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Sep 8, 2006
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Take a piece of advice from someone who is a "bit" older than you.
Use your bags. :yes:
That's why you bought them...to love and to use. :tup:
I really don't think you would come off as a "spoiled overspender" by using the bags you have and then, at least, you'll get the enjoyment you sought when you purchased them. :heart:
It would a darned shame to just let them sit and go unused. :huh:

Life is too short to let "judgmental people" spoil your pleasure.
If someone makes a comment, take it as a compliment to your good taste in bags. :yahoo:
 

JenJBS

Member
Sep 22, 2019
6,783
27,375
Hello all!! I am in my 20s and just started collecting preloved bags - so far Chanel, Hermes, Fendi, Chloe, Loewe and LV. I don’t really feel comfortable wearing clear branding around my friends and family, and especially friends from work who would be judgmental. I know they would strike up a conversation about my bag when I’m just trying to go about my day. People will even comment on my Longchamp bags. Everyone I know is very frugal, carry fakes or can’t afford designer. I don’t even talk about designer, and when they bring up designer bags I just try to act dumb lol. :hrmm: Does anyone else keep their collection “private”? I’m satisfied with using my bags when going out with my DH, but I would love to get more use out of them without fear of affecting my close relationships or coming off as a spoiled overspender. :confused1:
People at work or church who pay attention see my bag collection, but I don't talk about it unless they ask. But my family and friends don't know. My mom would totally judge and be a pain, and her big sister would be worse. My other Aunt would be great, but has had financial issues, so I'm careful not to show buying expensive things, as I love her far too much to risk making her feel bad.
 

miniwatt

Member
Jul 11, 2016
56
234
Closeted collector here, also older than you. It's a tough topic. My friends either just do. not. get. it. or they fall into the category of "I prefer being poor so I have more work/LIFE balance." I don't flash any logos with either group and try to keep it understated when we meet up. Despite that, I have been slammed with snide remarks in retrospect such as "oh I'm not a fool who's into designer." (Ouch.) Ditto for work: I've found it best to never, ever wear better things/look better than your superiors, especially (sad truth) as a woman it can backfire when your next raise is up. Thus I never take a "good" bag to the office, or even on a first date for fear of polarising (another sad truth: men are still peculiarly uncomfortable with women who clearly earn more than they do). Most of my stuff is just sitting in the closet these days given the pandemic. I've been wearing my best bags when I'm out on my own running errands, and I genuinely enjoy them in such everyday situations.
Ultimately I think you are right in your assumption that ppl will judge, and perhaps judge wrongly or out of ignorance. It's great you can wear yours out with hubby, and in essence I agree with @RTone: do what you want and wear what you want. You just might need to develop a thick skin though with some friends/family members.
 

Amazona

Crazy bird lady
Mar 31, 2013
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@RTone has it right - use your bags. I'm sure you're not getting into debt when purchasing and if you own a nice bag (or several), why not carry what you want?
Especially if you've made smart choices and good deals when purchasing, you can always say that you didn't pay much because you know how to find a bargain. Chances are, other people won't even pay attention to what you're carrying.

I've had some people judge me, but they have shut their mouths pretty quick when I remind them that I have never splurged on silly things like a car or trips to Bali (both of which seem silly things to buy from my perspective), and have paid for my bags out of my own pocket. It's not as I'm using their money. If I was, they would have the right to judge me. I actually gave a judgemental relative of mine the chance to purchase the right to judge; just buy me a Chanel GST and then you can judge me how ever much you want! Funny enough, they didn't take up on that...:biggrin:
 
Dec 15, 2008
10,307
4,853
Private from friends and family? No, but there are definitely places I wouldn't carry an obviously expensive purse or jewelry. I've done a good bit of volunteering in the past, and using such items would have been greatly out of place and in poor taste. As far as work goes, would using your purses impede your chances of advancement? Something to consider.
 

rose60610

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Mar 8, 2011
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Chicago
Depends. Some friends/family members either won't care or would admire them, and you probably know the ones who could get judgmental. It's often not worth the hassle. Then there are situations where wearing a high end bag isn't appropriate IMO. I like Amazona's response, reminds me of the squabble a guy had with another about spending a lot on a saddle for her horse. Horse owner reminded him he spent over a thousand dollars on his new puppy which ended up costing him many more thousands in vet bills which he didn't seem to mind. He shut up. Everybody has their thing--bags, watches, cars, boats, pools, pets, vacations, hobbies--then the upkeep/insurance some require, etc.
 

lenarmc

Member
Mar 1, 2014
818
1,621
You’re wasting your money.

I will never understand this attitude towards using your things that you bought with your money because of the feelings and judgements of others. I would say that I have this attitude because I was older, but I’ve always been like this. I just don’t care. Others opinions of me are not my business. I’m not going to spend a lot of money on anything then not wear/carry it the majority of the time because it might offend someone.

Wear and enjoy. I wish that I could have afforded to buy luxury items in my 20s! Stop hiding.
 

Annawakes

Member
Apr 25, 2016
1,570
4,963
I’ve been judged. The only place I am careful about it is at work or with work colleagues outside of work. I don’t want anything *anything* to cloud their perception of me other than my work.

Other than work people, I’ll wear my bags wherever. People at church have noticed and commented (not in a mean way, just, wow, you have nice bags!)

Also. Real friends don’t make nasty judgy comments. I’ve told a few friends who couldn’t care less about bags, about my bag obsession and they were like, okay. Nothing more was said and they never notice what I’m using anyway.

sadly, I used to share each luxury bag purchase with my mom. I used to look out for bags she might like and even bought her a few LV’s. I stopped doing that when she one day said, “Haven't you spent enough on bags to buy a car already?” That was really hurtful. From then on I do not share any bags purchases with my mom anymore. I’ll use whatever I want when I see her but I don’t mention it and just act like I’ve always had it.
 

Henelalee

Member
Aug 9, 2018
63
222
I feel the same here. Especially when living in the city/country that I'm living right now. When at my motherland, I feel normal when dressing up and carry my favourite purses. But now, I don't even want my in-laws know that I'm owning too much of expensive stuffs as their lifestyle is quite different and simple. Of course I don't think they will judge or say anything bad, it's just me not feeling of showing. But I tell everyone my deep love/humble knowledge of every piece that I own, the history and why I bought/love them. It's just because you buy it because you love it, not to showing off to feel rich or something. At the end, it's all about your personality that defines you, not anything else :smile:
 

RT1

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Sep 8, 2006
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I had someone throw shade at me for my “fancy car” ( a twenty year old Mercedes). Unless there are reasons at work where it could be an issue I say wear them and the heck with anyone’s opinion. Life’s too short and why should anyone else judge how you spend your money?
+1.
Listen to this lady...she speaks the truth! :yahoo:
Don’t let other people’s opinions influence how you live your life. :heart:
 

indiaink

Authenticator
O.G.
May 3, 2007
16,127
7,521
My question is: How does anybody outside of this forum have any idea about bags, anyway? The only reason one of my coworkers even knew about my bags is one day a box was delivered for me from Japan... and now I have a reputation for being a handbag person anyway; I found my boss a replacement Furla after hers was stolen last year (this bag hadn’t been out in years; it took me about 10 months to track one down). My other coworker is SO IMPRESSED! that I am an authenticator for BV. And then one is like ”you like this bag” and I’m like no, that’s Daniel Lee stuff, not MY BV. LOL.

OWN it. It’s your hobby, it’s your love, it’s what brings you happiness and joy. OWN IT and be content with yourself that you have nice things. If somebody comments on your bag (or your clothing, or your jewelry, or your car (hey, I drive a Mini Cooper, talk about getting frickin’ comments) just practice that wise smile (go ahead, go the bathroom, look in the mirror, smile wisely ... there it is, that’s it!) and say “thank you” or “yes, I enjoy it, thank you” or “I have no idea, I bought it at a yard sale/Goodwill/secondhand store.

You got it? OWN it, my dear. And enjoy.
 
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papertiger

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May 23, 2009
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This is a question that many have.

Everyone's who commented is right in their assessment and in their experience, but you have to feel confident wearing your bags.

I wear bags seen previously and fairly regularly in front my family, not so much newer ones (don't need the l o n g conversation). I never wear logos/flash in front of in-laws, happily lots of H, BV and Gucci have no identifiers at all.

I work in fashion/media so everything is looked at, everything is assessed, everything is broken down in dates/£$E . My colleagues are very friendly and we all admire each others' outfits, accessories and enjoy the range of styles. Even so, I carry my Evelyne plus UTR Hermes or Gucci, leaving new bags/easily recognisable bags at home. It's important (for me) to dress appropriately, I can't do conventional, but I play down the 'quirky' edgy look a bit for work - I ned to be business-like, therefore, I would not carry my Chanel back pack that is black, but I would carry a bright green Hermes Garden Party and wear with a suit.

I think @miniwatt is very wise. If you don't feel confident wearing bags to work, there's probably a good reason for it. You must wear your bags sometimes though, to try you could allot one of your designer bags for work at first, just wear that one for a while. It's usually when people look like they're constantly flashing new stuff that people get all judge-y and jealous (even if vintage, per-loved, gifts etc).