Does anyone feel bad about themselves when visiting here?

  1. I have a passion and a true love for fashion. I love having nice things. I love my shoes and designer clothing and purses. LOVE LOVE LOVE them!

    I have been browsing on this forum for a few days now and all the pictures I see, everyone looks so chic and beautiful and put together. Just stunning! I sit here and look at myself. I am easily 50 pounds overweight. I am still nursing my baby, so my body has a very hard time letting go of the weight. I hate the way clothing fits me right now and I refuse to buy any nice outfits in the size I am currenty wearing now. I feel fat and frumpy and disheveled. I rarely put makeup on when I go out and sometimes I get so down on myself that I will go to the market in sweats and not think twice about it. I have 3 boys and I know I should not get so down on my appearance, but I just wish I could motivate myself and get into shape and become that beautiful woman I see so often posting on here. I want to be chic and instyle and fashionable and happy to post pictures of myself. I want to be secure about my looks and weight. I just feel yucky about myself. So I am wondering if anyone else feels the way I do? I just need some motivation I guess. I am so unmotivated but at the same time, I am so upset with how out of control I have gotten. It depresses me and turns into a vicious cycle. It is so hard not to get wrapped up in the hype of wanting to be thin and beautiful. I guess I am not sure what I am looking for by posting this, but if you have made it this far, thank you so much for reading.
  2. Heather, it is difficult to do much for yourself when you are still nursing your baby... I am an ex-anorexic and currently I am in the very early stages of my first pregnancy. My boobs are huge (never had any!) and pants start not to fit nicely. I cannot deny that a part of me is very disturbed by this, but the thought that helps me is that I'm (hopefully) bringing a new life into this world. I guess we must become a little less conscious of our bodies when pregnant and nursing. We become functional to the well being of a small and defenseless creature, and this is a big act of love. I am sure it is difficult to stay put together when you feel like a hot air balloon, but it is not like you are in this state because you were lazy to exercise or whatever. You are nursing, girl! Enjoy your wonderful time with the baby: I'm sure that with three kids you will lose all your baby weight very quickly when you are done with nursing.
    After years of every kind of eating disorder, I can assure you that:
    1) I will never feel thin enough, BUT:
    2) Who the heck cares? :p I'm much happier now being *average* and not rail thin, but at least I can splurge once in a while without throwing up.

    When you will be over with nursing, I'm sure you will find a lot of support, motivation and good ideas to melt away the baby weight on this forum (besides, I guess all of us post our best pictures, not those of the bad hair days!)
    All the best to you and your kids, and heaps of love and ++++karma!
  3. Actually what bothers me is when I'm browsing one of the bag sub-forums where someone is modeling a new bag and mention their height/weight (for proportion reference). Recently I read a post where the person said they were 5'7" and weighed 95 POUNDS!!!* That's not "chic". It's dangerously underweight and unhealthy.

    I'd be willing to bet that the vast majority of tPF members aren't super model thin, but normal women of normal sizes.

    *If this person is reading this post, I'm only mentioning this because it is unhealthy. Nothing personal or hurtful intended.....
  4. awww don't feel so down...but I can understand how you're feeling. I look at the "how did you move today thread" and I see what others do at the gym and i'm like wow i don't do enough.

    But hey you just had a baby it takes time for your body to get back to pre-pregnancy weight. And look at it this way you're breast feeding...that burns so many calories. If you don't have time to exercise or just feel like you don't have energy how about just going for a walk. Thats a great way to start exercising after having a baby. Take care of your baby and eat healthy and drink lots of water.
  5. A lot of the gals here aren't stick thin. Just look at some of the weight loss discussions here. I am certainly nowhere near being model thin. Even when I was morbidly obese, I never let it enter my mind that I wasn't stylish. Style has nothing to do with how much you weigh. It has a lot to do with how you carry yourself.
  6. You can be stylish and beautiful at any weight, don't let your size get you down! I too am trying to lose weight, but even at my current size I can fix my hair and makeup, put on something cute and feel like a million bucks. Slimming down will take some willpower, time, and energy, but that's it! I think maybe you deserve a day at the spa, or at least a new haircut and mani/pedi. You sound like you've got a lot on your plate and just need a little break to relax and realize that you're a beautiful woman again.
  7. It is really hard to have time for yourself when you have three children (one who is still nursing). Heck, it can be hard to find time to shower! I have three children and I know how exhausting it can be.

    It sounds insane when you already aren't getting enough sleep, but even a little bit of exercise while either carrying the baby in a sling or with the baby in a stroller can do a world of good for your attitude (and it won't hurt your weight).

    Otherwise, just focus on being healthy and not being thin (drink enough water, try to get enough fruits and veggies in your diet, etc.). Some people drop weight while nursing, and others can't lose it until they stop. Either way, your body is fantastic for doing what you are doing (having three healthy children, nursing and caring for them)! Your priority is your children right now, and there will be plenty of time to worry about your weight later on.

    Like a pp said, style has nothing to do with weight.
  8. No! I love me and I don't compare myself to others on this board or IRL. I love looking at all the photos of people---like in the Post your Outfit for Today thread. I think it's great. People of all different sizes and everything post there. Some are thin..some are not. I'm not model thin but I don't want to be either. I'm a size 8-10 on bottom and 4-6 on top and I love my's healthy and fit and have given birth to two boys. My husband loves it. Girlfriends and strangers compliment it. Who am I to argue with them...LOL.

    I think people who are confident can be and are beautiful at any weight or height. It's just how you put yourself together.

    I understand how you feel though. I think all women have been there at one point or another in our lives. I have--when I was younger and oddly at my thinest (90-95 pounds)..I used to hate my body and everything about I used to weigh myself constantly...crazy. I grew out of that with a lot of hard work as I grew older thank heavens.

    Just be healthy--take care of your body. If you are moving and eating well most times then you are doing well IMO. If you aren't happy where you are--do something about it but do it in a healthy way.:heart:
  9. Honey..most of us have been thru or r goin thru the frumpy phase of mommy hood!LOL!
    Beleive u me.....I gained 60 POUNDS with a really high risk pregnancy(#1 daughter)..It took me a while to love myself again.Be happy INSIDE with who u r.I know being your perfect weight would make u happier but right now u have an awesome family to take care of.Im only put togther JUSt in my late thirties.My kids are 17 and took me a while to get the ME time back.Now I have the free time for myself to do the ME things!Too much time on my hands now!!
    If I had a choice.Id rather be overweight and frumpyish again..and raise those cute babies all over again.I SWEAR.when they get older,U arent needed anymore!!!LOL!Or so it feels.Love who u r right now..Enjoy your kids.It goes by WAY TOO FAST.Trust me.....I know!!!!!!

  10. I agree! There is nothing like those little babies, I cant wait to have another. Fat ass and all, worth it! LOL
  11. exercise exercise exercise ~~~~ !!!!!! ;)
  12. ITA, great post. I eat right (most of the time) and exercise because it makes me feel good, not because I'm trying to fit a certain mold or squeeze into a size four. I focus more on how my body feels and my self confidence, rather than what the tag inside my pants says :smile:

  13. I am going to write much more tomorrow, but I just wanted to commend you on this post. It is really brave of you and just a really great post- so real. :heart:

    I promise a good response tomorrow!
  14. Too true. Cherish where you are and who you are right now because it changes so fast!
  15. Please be kind to yourself you are doing a wonderful thing by nursing your baby and on top of that taking care of two other children. At the moment you are going to feel like you have no time to do anything for yourself, sometimes not even finding time to pee! Under these circumstances your appearance is the last thing you are going to prioritise, but it is always in the back of your mind.

    After I had my second child (now almost 11 months old) I also didn't feel like buying any new clothes either, but my DH made me. The clothes were not expensive, but the fact I had some non-maternity clothes that fitted was a wonderful feeling and was a step in the right direction to make me interested in my appearance.

    Your time is very limited right now but do try and make a trip to buy some clothes, or get your hair done, or anything that makes you feel enthusiastic about yourself.