Does anyone else hate being pregnant?

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  1. I hate being pregnant(14 wks). I am tired most of the time, too fatigued to work, forgetful, can't color my hair, can't take barely any medicines, have to eat more often then I want to, etc...
    I am a vegetarian(not a healthy one ether) and have been for 16 yrs since I was 14 yrs or so and am naturally thin and not that concerned with food in general. I have been forcing myself to eat protein like catfish(I haven't ever really eaten seafood prior) to get a little more energy. I haven't gained any weight from pregnancy yet even though I try to eat 5-6 small meals a day. I have terrible allergies, always have and can't take decongestants so I've been extremely stuffy the entire time. I have sensitive skin that breaks out and can't use any medicines on it. I am vain and color my hair every 6 wks but not once since I found out. My D size breasts are a DD and look so gross. I keep hearing that it will all be worth it once the baby is here. I honestly don't like babies although I love childen (that talk), so I doubt I will just magically feel like it was all worth it. I sound like such a bad selfish person right now...:sad:
    Just wondering if I'm the only one not happy with my condition...
     
  2. I really don't wanna sound mean here, but-if you don't like children, then why are you pregnant? Also, being pregnant means eating extra protein, calcium, ect. (If you're feeling tired, take prenatal vitamins and MAYBE an additional iron supplement (iron is dangerous in high quantities for unborn children) ) Almost everyone knows that, even if they've never been pregnant.
    I think right now, you're stuck in the middle, and you haven't grasped the reality that you're gonna have a baby.
    I loved being pregnant. I loved the baby kicking me (except when his foot was jammed in my rib for four weeks) I loved going to the doctor and hearing his heartbeat, and looking at the ultrasound photos. I think, once you get big, and you can feel the baby kicking around, you'll love it. There's a maternal instinct somewhere in there, and you don't realize it now, but once you see that baby come out of you, you'll wonder how you ever lived without him/her.
    Trust me! :yes:
     
  3. I have the feeling that the honesty of your post may be a little off-putting and questionable to some but rest assured: you have found a kindred spirit in me!

    You may also take comfort in knowing that I hold the title of the most miserable ex-pregnant woman ever. If you'd like to claim this honor for yourself here's what you have to go up against:

    I have a "tense" relationship with food and hated that I had to eat regularly, am compulsive about exercising and my pregnancy was high-risk, so I hardly exercised at all and instead spent a lot of time compounding my misery by researching any number of possible complications related to twin gestations on the web.

    Add to this the stress of the high-risk pregnancy, the stress of the constant monitoring by perinatologists, the fear that I would miscarry or birth the twins very prematurely, the tiredness, the lack of exercise, the lack of sex (yeah, again on account of the high risk), and a myriad of assorted other hassles that I would have normally self medicated by doing a demanding workout, taking a long bath, wearing a hot outfit complete with high heels and going shopping or --if things got really extreme-- by taking a xanax and going to bed early. The xanax was out of the question as were the high heels and the long bath, the shopping was limited to non-clothing items and since I couldn't tan or color my hair my attempts at looking hot became attempts at looking like an average pregnant woman instead of a dolled up jolly Teletubby! Oh. My. God. The horror, the horror...

    And, yes, I AM indeed so shallow that all these deprivations accumulating over the span of 37 weeks made me feel like an unsightly, desexualised, waddling marsupial who pouted and sighed for sport.

    And how I hated the vernacular of pregnancy and in particular the terms "pregnant glow" and "bump". As it should have become obvious by now, I wasn't glowing any unless an oily T-zone (which gradually took over my entire face) counts. Sadly, my "bump" was nothing to write home about either. It was oval rather than round and oddly football shaped.

    Strangers didn't help since they all felt entitled to comment on the size of my belly. Until about 6 months, they would usually say something like "so, you're due any minute now, right?" and when I answered that I actually had another 16 weeks to go they'd look at me like "oh wow good luck taking THAT off after you pop" even when I did say I was expecting twins. After about 6 months, I would answer the question by saying that I was expecting twins and was due in ___ number of weeks, at which point people would comment that I was "pretty small for twins"... making me feel like I was carrying these two "runts" who'd probably weigh less than the last balanced, nitrate-free meal I had forced myself to eat on schedule in what appeared to be an increasingly futile attempt at gestating normal weight offspring...

    And so it went. I did love the feeling of the twins moving inside me (there really is nothing quite like the awareness of an active little human who's contained inside your body and is busily "making itself"), I loved the sight of them all grainy but so lively on the ultrasound screen, and I loved the vivid dreams I had when I slept at night. I loved listening to their heartbeats on a doppler I had at home and guessing at their personalities based on the very different sounds of their hearts...

    Fast forward to my 6-week post-partum appointment. I was leaving my ob-gyn's office feeling like this pregnancy was officially over now that the last 2 restrictions (exercise and sex) had been lifted. I was really missing my babies, so I was in a hurry to get home when the sight of a pregnant woman headed for my doctor's office stopped me dead in my tracks. She was stunning in a green baby doll top, jeans and flats. Had it all: the poise, the glow, the luxurious hair, the round bump and an air of playful joy that I can only describe as an aura. She waddled with conviction and confidence like she was carrying a secret only she and her baby shared or as if she could tell the future and knew without a doubt that her pregnancy would turn out textbook perfect. Where I had been bovine, she was triumphant. I'd be lying if I said that in that moment I did not feel a ripple of envy and a touch of sadness at the fact that I could not be more like her and less like me...

    In retrospect, I do accept that my experience of pregnancy was a largely miserable one. I did not surrender my body easily and my mind was my worst enemy. I do not, however, regret it. It's taught me just how hard it is to be vulnerable and exposed without being able to do anything (shopping, self-medicating, running) to escape it. That's a big helping of humble pie but in my limited parenting experience being able to be vulnerable and humble is crucial when trying to adjust to the newness and (largely) lack of control involved in interacting with a newborn who just happens to depend entirely on you to guess and fulfill its every need.

    Oh and by the way: I, too, am fond of "speaking" children and since the people who romanticized the bump'n'glow were also the ones insisting it would be worth it in the end, I did wonder if they were wrong about this too.

    Nope; it turns out they were right about this one. I feel blessed and not quite sure what I did right in order to be blessed with these two human beings. To be worthy of them, I'd do it all over again in a hearbeat (as miserable as it was and worse). In fact, as I am typing this they are sleeping in a bassinet next to me and I feel nothing short of awe when I see the regular rising and falling of their chest as they breathe. Yeah, there is nothing I would not be willing to trade for the feeling I get when I hold my twins. It'll blow your circuits. WORD.

    So, best of luck to you and I truly hope your experience of pregnancy turns out far better than mine. I earned the title of most miserable ex-pregnant woman fair and square and I'd hate to share the crown! :queen:
     
  4. she didn't say anywhere she doesn't like children:nogood:

    kitten, A LOT of women absolutely hate being pregnant, it's completely normal.
    I loved it so it's hard for me to totally empathize, but I get it.
    My nanny was dying to conceive adn was just dying to be pregnant. She loves kids and was just positive growing a baby was right up her alley, WRONG!
    She confided in me she wasn't really enjoying the changes in her body like she thought she would and just wans't really enjoying pregnancy all that much.
    Most of my BFF's think I'm crazy when I talk about how much I loved it, none of them felt that way! LOL!

    How come you can't color your hair?
    I colored mine through both pregnancies and have 3 beautiful, healthy children:yes:
    Also, I had terrible acne for a few months w/ my twins, I was given a low dose of a safe antibiotic and 2 topicals that were safe for me face and it cleared me up completely. . . there are options out there!

    Don't second guess yourself, your body was one way forever and now it's like it's someone else's.
    You will think this baby hung the moon and you will love nothing in the world more when you see him/her for the first time. KNOW that.

    In the meantime, cut yourself some slack, a lot of feel a lot better around 16 weeks, you're almost there.
    Finally, have they done a blood workup on you lately? Ask them to and check your iron levels.
    I was feeling very fatigued and we found I was borderline anemic, they wouldn't have even tested me if I hadn't asked. 2 iron pills/day fixd my laziness.
     
  5. EMMA!!!!!!!!!!!
    I need to see more pics and updates of those babes!!!!
    They're perfect!
     
  6. ^^Thank you, Swank! It's their birthday today (2 months) and it feels like I've just been marveling at them for the past 60 days. I have no clue what I did to be worthy of them but so far being their mother has been the most amazing thing I have ever done. (I guess pregnancy has softened me; I NEVER in a bazillion years thought I'd say this!).

    Twins are just the best, aren't they?
     
  7. I saw this thread on the main page b/ it was the most recent. I'm not a normal poster in this section b/c I don't have kids (and pregnancy terrifies me!). Anyway...

    kitten, I just want to send some hugs your way!!! I think it was really honest of you to post this because there is so much hype that pregnancy is the most wonderful thing that a woman can experience. You feel how you feel and I think it is cruel for someone to question your feelings or say negative things about them. Everyone experiences things differently.

    I hope you start to feel better soon and that the rest of your pregnancy is happier!

    emmalawyer- your post was great! It's nice to hear different sides of the story and something other than the hearts and flowers and pregnancy glow stories.
     
  8. ^ Emma - I feel like I've been stalking you all day - I love love love your post and your writing. You crack me up and I just love that you're speaking from your heart.

    And to the OP - speak from your heart all you wish. That's what we're here for!
     
  9. OK, I never post to this thread but saw it also in the "most recent" and had a look-see.

    I love it - I too was another miserable pregnoid! I absolutely hated being pregnant and I had tried for years to conceive. Go figure. I threw up from the first day to the last, had to eat at "just the right time", couldn't sleep, couldn't really think "straight" (KWIM?) and I never felt "normal" at any time. Everyone kept saying: You'll feel better after the first 3 months. Well, 3 months came and went and I still felt like crap. And don't even get me started on the last month!

    But the labor was a breeze for me (2 hours for the first, 20 minutes for the second, maybe because I couldn't wait to get it all over with! Once your baby is born and the doctor holds him up you will never feel the same way again. To this day I can still picture in my mind what both of my boys looked like the first time I saw them.

    Emma, that pic of your twins is precious! Could be on a greeting card anywhere!! And I absolutely loved your story.

    Kitten, all I can say is good luck, keep a calendar and rejoice every night you get to cross a day off. It is all worth it in the end.
     
  10. Good God no !!!! :wtf:
    I am 33 weeks and at this point I can't believe that people do this more than once. :confused1:
    I have not been a happy glowing preggo. Its been the most physically demanding thing I have ever done - seriously! I have horribly stiff knees and ankles, hands that don't work and move around like a 85 year old woman. Don't get me started on my gastrointestinal troubles.

    I think you will find many out there like us, but people don't say much because it sounds shallow when you complain about it.
    What makes me happy is that everyone says in the end that its all worth it.

    Just a thought - I think I read somewhere that there are some allergy medicines that are Ok, and in fact are given to women with serious morning sickness. Ask your doc.
    As far as hair colouring goes, I did it throughout. If those chemicals were dangerous every woman in the hair business would be affected when pregnant.

    Great post EMMA - very thoughtful writing
     
  11. Do you do any dairy? Milk, cheese, eggs, yogurt and ice cream (:yahoo:)are great sources of protein.
    Some people don't do nuts, but peanut butter has been a staple for me.
    Also protein shakes made with hemp are preggo friendly

    Take omega 3 fatty acids if you don't like the fish - I can't stomach it either and haven't eaten it at all.
     
  12. The first trimester is the most annoying one, to me. The fatigue, always having the urge to go to the bathroom, and the morning sickness all gets to you. I'm sure things will be better once you are well into your second trimester!
     
  13. Awww kittenslingerie, it's gonna be alright. You're not alone in how you feel. I have no prego "glow" and I feel ugly. This is my second child, and though I'm happy to be pregnant, I'm not happy with the way I look or feel. I need hair color too, and I usually dye my hair. I was told not to in the first trimester. It has something to do with absorbing the chemicals via the scalp and passing it on to the baby. My mom owns a salon and will not dye my hair or any pregnant woman. On the bright side, if you're holding to the first trimester rule, you can dye your hair now. I'm 13 weeks, and stuck without color since my mom won't do it and I can't do it and then let her see me! lol My back aches and though the tiredness has eased up, I still don't feel like myself. Believe me, you're not the only one that feels the way you do. Pregnancy to me is not awesome; it's a means to an end. I just wish it only took one month to have a baby!
     
  14. BTW Swanky, my name is Emma too, so I got kind of confused about pictures for a minute until I realized that you were talking to EmmaLawyor, lol.:upsidedown:

    What did they give you for your skin/breakouts, please? My doctor is pretty well known in the medical communtity, writes for Glamour and such and told me there was nothing she could give me.:shrugs:

    As far as hair color, my doctor said hilites and foil color was ok but was very insistant that there is no substanial data on color. I think I am going to just go back to my natural color for the pregnancy with demi-permanent color.

    Lastly thanks everyone for making me not feel sooo alone. I just feel/felt like the grinch who stole pregnancy, lol.
    I have always taken daily vitamens, and am taking prenatals now. My husband is super happy that I am expecting and loves babies, so at least I won't be alone the first year.
    I am no longer throwing up, although I did for about 3 wks straight. I also don't mind getting big at all, but its just hard having to eat so much...
     
  15. I do eat milk and cheese, no eggs unless they are cooked into my food. I am getting my protein for the most part, but its just hard to eat so much. I've never been much of an eater unfortunately, I think that forcing myself to eat healthy and more often is whats bothering me.