Do You Treat People Differently Based On How They Look?

#31
yes absolutely.

i shy away from people who have cold expressions or seem so distant. i don't try to interact with people who walk around frowning or pouting even if they don't do it on purpose. i gravitate towards warmer, friendlier people who smile and can have a light friendly conversation.

last semester there was this girl sitting next to me in my statistics class. her computer was acting up on the first day of class so the teacher told her to look off mine. i didn't mind at all. i even thought it'd be a good icebreaker since it was the first day of classes and all. when i tried to initiate conversation with her by asking her a question, she completely ignored me and had this cold look on her face while staring blankly at the computer screen. from then on i had this f you attitude towards her for the rest of the semester, and i had no desire to ever speak to her.
 
#33
My job requires me to treat everyone the same, that's much easier said than done. I'm fairly new to my current job, and in the small time I've been there I see nothing wrong with treating people differently. Why should I have to treat an ill-mannered, snobby, disrespectful person the same way I treat a cordial, polite, and well-mannered individual? Let alone, smile and tolerate somebody who insults me or who is uneccessarily rude to me?

I will honestly say that yes, while I may not treat people different based on physical looks, I do treat people differently based on how respectful they are to others and to me. And yes, individuals who have bad body odor, don't shower, and do not take good care of themselves hygienically push me away from interacting with them. Sure it may be judgmental, but I should have the right to choose who I want to interact with right?
 
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#34
merika said:
Doesn't mean you should treat them differently, which was what the OP asked.
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that's my thinking.

everyone makes judgments based on appearance, i think that's well established and widely admitted in this thread, as it is in society. it's a natural reflex.

what makes the ultimate difference, though, is whether or not those thoughts/judgments/immediate impulse reactions translate into words and behavior. behavior and how one treats others IS something that can be controlled and adjusted, even if immediate thoughts and impulses can not.

i have little respect for people who can't control their judgmental thoughts from blatantly effecting their actions or their treatment of others. everyone has those thoughts, but a great majority of people can exercise the self control and objective thought needed to keep their mouths shut, or treat people with an equal amount of dignity and respect. so many people do it, the people who say they can't are just making bullsh*t excuses for their lack of decency and self control.
 
#35
xlana said:
My job requires me to treat everyone the same, that's much easier said than done. I'm fairly new to my current job, and in the small time I've been there I see nothing wrong with treating people differently. Why should I have to treat an ill-mannered, snobby, disrespectful person the same way I treat a cordial, polite, and well-mannered individual? Let alone, smile and tolerate somebody who insults me or who is uneccessarily rude to me?
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sure, but that's fair. you're not treating them based on their appearance, or anything superficial, which was the issue in this thread. you're treating them a certain way based on their behavior, and their treatment of you. that's fair game imo.

of course if you're able to be kinder and more polite to them than they are to you, you come out the bigger person, but even if you can't manage that... i don't think ppl would fault you for it.
 
#36
Yeah, I'll admit it. A good example is when I take public transportation late at night (bus/train) and I get the heebie jeebies if someone looks like a bum. I'll just avoid them at all costs! I'm pretty paranoid.
 
#38
MichelleAntonia said:
that's my thinking.

everyone makes judgments based on appearance, i think that's well established and widely admitted in this thread, as it is in society. it's a natural reflex.

what makes the ultimate difference, though, is whether or not those thoughts/judgments/immediate impulse reactions translate into words and behavior. behavior and how one treats others IS something that can be controlled and adjusted, even if immediate thoughts and impulses can not.

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Good post.
I read somewhere people subsconsciously are nicer towards good looking individual. Even women towards women. Something they cannot control and don´t even realize themselves.
I, too, respond to the emotional vibe I pick from someone. If that person is warm, smiling, and down to earth.
What I am guilty of on the other hand, is let´s say I have a new male colleague. If he´s attractive (can be looks, can be style) I´ll switch on my friendly side power 10. I´ll make efforts on a personal level and chit chat.
If not, I don´t make efforts other than work-work-work and can seem super distant.

To me what is really unfair is when it comes to life opportunities, such as a job position.
In France they are debating right now how much info should be given on a CV/resume. Because right now you have to put a photo on, which obviously leads to all sorts of discriminations...
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#39
If we all knew what thoughts resound in the minds of everyone else, we would HATE humanity. The awfulness would drown out the good. We would all want to kill one another on the spot. There is a good reason no one can read minds.

In terms of human relations, there is no point to thoughts.. they are, for the most part useless. We have lesser minds that react instantly be forming thoughts, and we have greater minds that can or at least try to control those thoughts. But sometimes even the greater mind is not very noble, or even makes sense. But a thought means absolutely ZERO if it does not affect action, negatively or positively. We don't believe what people think, we believe what they choose to do. I am counting expression of any sort, be it choosing a time to speak or any other kind of doing. So the last stop that separates your true being from warring thoughts is your sense.

I love that bumper sticker that says 'don't believe everything you think'. There are greater things in people than that incessant chatter that clutters our brains on a day to day basis.

My point in saying all of this is that it really doesn't matter who judges whom or how. Everyone does it, some more than others, but still. I really don't want to know what others think and I don't want them knowing what I think. I dont trust someone's secret thoughts to be the testament to their character.
 
#42
MichelleAntonia said:
wow, i did not know that. that's standard for every job application? :wtf:
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Yes....that + age and marital status.
I won´t elaborate on the job market and how certain companies and industries want employees to reflect a "certain" image, and not only for "Public Relations" or "sales" types of job.
When I was a student and needed a temp job I discovered that I could get an easier job, solely based on my looks. (simply smiling and saying "hi").How superficial is our society lol ???? -I grew up as an Ugly duckling BTW-
But yeah...let´s not go on that subject...
 
#43
same thing in HK...at least 10 years ago, i had to put all those personal info on my resume + the picture. i am pretty sure it's the same thing in china as well.
 
#44
mellecyn said:
I read somewhere people subsconsciously are nicer towards good looking individual. Even women towards women. Something they cannot control and don´t even realize themselves.
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That can go several ways. Companies may see them as a plus in bringing in more busienss. Men may seen them with 'desire'. Some women may envy them. Other women may look down on them or with jealousy. They may get treated better in stores.

Not right though, is it?
 
#45
I work in HR so I have sort of trained myself to treat everyone the same no matter what they look like....but where I live, I hadn't noticed this until the other day, I usually carry Miu Miu handbags around that nobody pays attention to (Miu Miu is not known here) but when I carry Gucci I catch a lot of women staring at me and somehow when I go into a store I feel that the sales people notice this...maybe it's just my perception...we don't see that many people carrying Gucci where I live...
 
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