i didn't grow up spoiled at all. my parents came to the US from Thailand, with basically no knowledge of the English language... we had a lot of help from my relatives here, and the community at our church. our family of 5 lived in a 1 bdrm apartment in the early 80's. my father worked full-time during the day, and my mother stayed home with the kids... she also baby-sat the children of our relatives/family friends for extra income. it wasn't much, but we got by. of course, i don't remember much of this because this was before i was even in school. once all of us started school, my mother started working nights, so that there would always be someone home with the children (couldn't afford daycare, so it was the best solution at the time)... eventually, we moved to a 2 bdrm apartment in the same building, and a few years later, we moved into our own house in a safer, suburban area. i never had brand new clothes/shoes at the beginning of every school year like other kids did. they were only replaced when there was noticeable wear and tear. i never had so many board games, barbie dolls, or even my own bike (i had to share one with my sister). this was the life that i'd known growing up, and it was very normal for me.
i never really felt out of place until i started middle school and into high school. i started to be more self-conscious about having a certain image, and i wanted to fit in. i wanted to be fashionable/trendy and hang out with the popular kids, even though i was super shy back then. by the time i was 15, i started working part-time, at least 20 hours/week... i saved at least 75% of my paycheck, and whatever was left over, i'd spend on necessities and other things i wanted. i never asked my parents for anything, because i didn't want to feel like a burden. however, they basically handed everything to my older brother (in some Asian families, boys often receive preferential treatment). honestly, i'll admit that i spoil myself, but i also feel that the "luxuries" i provide myself were hard-earned.
i worked my way through high school/college. i even spent my summers/breaks from school working 2 jobs, but i was still able to keep up a social life with a handful of my very close friends. sure, there were times when i felt burned out, but i still appreciated the fact that i lived an opportune life. i still have relatives in parts of Asia, who aren't as lucky as i am. they all seem to think we're rich here, which isn't true, but we have a good life here. we have jobs, nice cars, a roof under our house, and are able to afford some luxuries others can only dream of. because of that, we often give back to our community back home. one of my aunt sets up donations for her orphans in Cambodia, where she grew up. she tries to visit every other year, and i always send some clothes and toys back with her. eventually, though, i'd like to go back with her and be more "hands on," perhaps even volunteer at an orphanage or something.
honestly, though... i think the majority of PF'ers are wonderful, hard-working, level-headed individuals. we just happen to love handbags, and it's a luxury we can afford, but i don't think it's something to feel bad or guilty about. i'm sure there are many people here that give back, and do what they can to help those who are less fortunate.
