I'm not talking about your fashion style, but YOU... YOUR face, body etc. I've thought about this quite a bit as I'm a reflective type and I think my look has mostly helped me in life. First, let me start by saying I'm a SUPER modest person and I PERSONALLY don't see anything special in how I look, but until I gained weight, I've been told MANY times that I'm beautiful... a natural beauty - as a child and teen and paired with the fact of, I guess, not knowing it. I look back on my younger life now and I see the breaks that I got here and there and they helped me along the way tremendously, but I wonder WHY I got them. Some of it is, FOR SURE is that I'm a hard worker, nice to people, and I'm determined... but there have been MORE breaks too - confidence boosters which I NEEDED since my mom was emotional abusive and basically a detriment to my self worth development. Anyway... in 7th grade shortly after moving to a new school, we had a band concert. My Mom was in the audience of parents, and the mom sitting next to her said when I came out on the stage. "Look at that BEAUTIFUL girl. She's just gorgeous." I was 13 - no make-up, no fancy dress, just me. That lady was the mom of a girl I hated in school later, but we didn't know many people yet. That woman was a professional photographer - art photography. After that concert in the newsletter I was named "band member of the year". I was so honored and lots of people were like "WHAT?" She's not THAT good - and I wasn't.. but maybe the band director thought I was pretty too and sweet and lackign confidence in myself? Fast forward and each year people here and there would do special things for me - ask me to participate in things. My HS principal and VPs and secretaries of the front office I worked for (I answered phones during lunch for the school) paid for my high school band trip. They knew I had saved my money for it, but they wanted me to use that money for fun and they gathered the $150 amongst themselves to pay for the fee. Again.... I never asked for help, never complained about not having the money... they just wanted to do something nice for me. I think even "landing" my DH had to do with being pretty. I have and had other assets of course, but without that??? It was so weird for me because I didn't like people judging me for how I looked and I always felt not pretty and would feel ULTRA uncomfortable with people telling me I was pretty. To have a college summer roommate say, "M. when you wear makeup, you have the most beautiful face I've ever seen." Or when my sister wanted to try to be a model when a modeling agency came through, I had to tag along because it was around the time I had a solo music performance competition right beforehand. I had NO INTEREST, but my sister thought she was "all that". We go and my sister tests out, but the lady starts asking me questions and wants me to walk for her and such - totally ignoring my sister. I didn't do it - no way!!! Now... fast forward to the last 5 years. I'm now 20 years older and quite overweight and I KNOW I didn't get one job partly because of my weight... My "look" lost me a job. I had a fantastic phone interview and I could SEE the lady's face fall when she met me - she was an obvious athlete... I'm not saying I would have gotten the job, but my weight DEFINITELY hindered me. So... I look back and I wonder... What if I didn't have a pretty face and nice thick hair? What if, when I was younger, I didn't have a nice figure? Where would I be now? I would LIKE to think just where I am now, but you know what? My gut is telling me that attention was drawn to me initially because I had a nice face and body and then once I got the attention of people, my other qualities "won them over". If I would have been chubby or plain looking as a youth/teen? I don't think I would have gotten that initial attention to win them over completely in other ways - it's what pulled people to me. I'm the person who NEVER wanted attention for how I look (still don't) but I have to accept the almost FACT that my look has allowed me to have opportunities I wouldn't have had otherwise.... I'm seeing it with my son too (the 11 year old). he's very handsome and people are just DRAWN to goodlooking people and I don't even think they are aware of it... he just gets picked for things too often to be "random"... it's weird really. PLEASE don't think me conceited for I am NOT all that... but just aware of things I notice in people's reactions. Have you noticed being nicer/kinder to 'pretty' people? Did you benefit from it? Get hurt by it? Do you think it's all in my head and that these things DON'T matter? I feel weird even posting about this because now people will think "oh GAWD, she's so conceited, but I'm SOOOOOO not... still uncomfortable with how I look, but it just seems to be a pattern for me... and so many good looking people I know - especially those who don't KNOW they are good looking so don't get all high on themselves.