Let me first say that you are a great friend! I'm sure your friend is feeling insecure and unhappy at this difficult time of her life since she puts so much emphasis on things. It's amazing how quickly people forget their behavior...she is accusing other women of flaunting yet she teased you when she could afford what you couldn't. I have friends who carry non designer bags either because they can't afford expensive ones or they just choose not to spend their money in that way...I would never even think about commenting on their bags. She seems to have a big personality, I get that...at the end of the day you get back what you put out there. My son played AAU basketball for years and attended countless camps...I never put my bags down either lol!
Do you make assumptions based on bags people carry?
- Thread starter virgoox
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Let me first say that you are a great friend! I'm sure your friend is feeling insecure and unhappy at this difficult time of her life since she puts so much emphasis on things. It's amazing how quickly people forget their behavior...she is accusing other women of flaunting yet she teased you when she could afford what you couldn't. I have friends who carry non designer bags either because they can't afford expensive ones or they just choose not to spend their money in that way...I would never even think about commenting on their bags. She seems to have a big personality, I get that...at the end of the day you get back what you put out there. My son played AAU basketball for years and attended countless camps...I never put my bags down either lol!
I didn't think I was the only one. A raggedy dirty purse held together with safety pins? There is no excuse for that mess and I see this quite often. If you can buy five bags of wavy Lay's, you can buy a new bag. Get it together lady LOL!
See I don't notice that stuff either. The only time I had an issue with someone's purse was when my own mother was carrying this horrendous orange atrocity that I think made her feel young and hip. After much begging and pleading she finally started using a beautiful Coach purse I bought her and the very first week the principal at her school commented on her purse and it gave her an opportunity to brag about her doctor daughter who bought it for her. I created a monster because ever time she sees me with a new purse she asks when I'm going to get sick of it and hand it down to her LOL. Fortunately I've been able to fend her off with Ralph Laurens, Coaches and MK and she's left my LV's alone.
I did notice a beautiful Chanel the other day at the kids dentist but as I siad before my eye has been trained to spot those because I really want one!!
i work with a woman whose bag is held together by about a bazillion saftey pins and it's ready for the dump, it was ready years ago. i had to ask why, because i just couldn't take it anymore seeing her w/that bag. she teared up and said it was her mom's (who is dead). so, yeah... don't judge, because you just don't know why someone is keeping their nasty little bag. i'm dying to photograph it, lol
My mom still has my grandma's purse and her I.D. She kept them both for sentimental reasons but would never carry it. Fact is, its doggone ugly LOL! I do understand why your coworker carries her mom's bag. Its a way to feel closer. I get it. I will try to remember your story from now on.
I do make judgments about people all the time as we all do whether we admit it or not. I do not however judge them by what bag they carry or the fact that they don't set it down on the floor/ground because I won't set my cheapest down on some surfaces like the subway floor. I don't voice judgments about those I've never met - I keep them to myself and many times have been proven very very wrong. A little devil inside may have you think something, but you don't have to share it especially catty judgments with no real foundation.
I think that appearance is used as a way to create a certain image and representation of ourselves, so it's quite normal that people draw conclusions from it. I think you could tell a bit about a person based on what they wear/carry. From seeing a stranger once on a street your impression might be very wrong, but when you observe someone regularly, I think you could tell a lot about persons taste or neatness just based on appearance.
With bags I've always had an impression that people who prefer saggy bags from soft leather are more relaxed and people who go for smooth, structured leather are more stiff themselves. But it's just a heuristic - just because I've mostly encountered people for whom it was true, doesn't mean it's a general rule.
When it comes to brands, it always makes me smile when I see someone who has the same bag as me or from a brand I like. It also makes me instantly like the person, because I feel like we have something in common (but that would be just as true about an LV bag as it would be with a TARDIS t-shirt). Of course, that impression can vanish within seconds when I talk to that person, because having the same bag is very little to get on with. When I see an obvious fake (when I can't tell it's fake I always assume it's authentic), it makes me cringe and I like assuming that the person didn't know any better (although sometimes it's a bit challenging). When I see a person with a bag from a designer brand I dislike, I don't really draw any conclusions about the person other that she must be interested in handbags just a little bit. When I see someone with a cheap bag, I just assume the person isn't interested in handbags.
I think that assumptions we make speak mostly about who we are as people and the kind of people we surround ourselves with than the actual person that we make those assumptions about.
So do I make assumptions? Absolutely, we all do. Of course, on many occasions I was proven wrong with my assumptions, so I'm generally very careful about drawing actual judgements based on those first impressions.
With bags I've always had an impression that people who prefer saggy bags from soft leather are more relaxed and people who go for smooth, structured leather are more stiff themselves. But it's just a heuristic - just because I've mostly encountered people for whom it was true, doesn't mean it's a general rule.
When it comes to brands, it always makes me smile when I see someone who has the same bag as me or from a brand I like. It also makes me instantly like the person, because I feel like we have something in common (but that would be just as true about an LV bag as it would be with a TARDIS t-shirt). Of course, that impression can vanish within seconds when I talk to that person, because having the same bag is very little to get on with. When I see an obvious fake (when I can't tell it's fake I always assume it's authentic), it makes me cringe and I like assuming that the person didn't know any better (although sometimes it's a bit challenging). When I see a person with a bag from a designer brand I dislike, I don't really draw any conclusions about the person other that she must be interested in handbags just a little bit. When I see someone with a cheap bag, I just assume the person isn't interested in handbags.
I think that assumptions we make speak mostly about who we are as people and the kind of people we surround ourselves with than the actual person that we make those assumptions about.
So do I make assumptions? Absolutely, we all do. Of course, on many occasions I was proven wrong with my assumptions, so I'm generally very careful about drawing actual judgements based on those first impressions.
Everyone judges people, its just human nature. We do have a choice though to take a step back once we judge someone and think our judgement over.
