Do You Ever Feel Guilty??

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  1. I dont know why I cant shake this inexplicable guilty feeling. especially when i recieve or buy myself something really nice, i feel almost like i dont deserve it. i wish i could shake this feeling.

    i also used to be surrounded my alot of jealous people and i could never tell them when i had something new bc i knew they'd become so angry and mean. i would be ashamed and i started to learn i couldnt tell anyone anything about the good things in my life.. that is until i found TPF :love: maybe this is how it started?

    do any of you guys ever feel this way or have had this problem? and what did you do about it? i really appreciate your insight
  2. All the time hon, all the time.

    I seldom buy anything new for myself, for the same reason, I don't deserve it. Dunno why, it's probably connected to my childhood and early adult life where I was treated so badly.
  3. aww Speedy ((((((HUGSSS)))))) i was too..we dont deserve to feel that way!!
  4. I tend to feel guilty about weird things like for example we just got two leather sofas for our living room and already there has been a bit of kitty claw damage to one of them. When I saw it I was mortified and draped a quilt over it to try and hide it from my DH. Of course, he didn't blame me for it and is quite philosophical---his motto is "cats ruin everything", lol. I think this guilt is a left-over from my first marriage, when my ex-husband blamed me for everything and had a fit if I spent any money, etc.
  5. i feel guilty when i buy something expensive or nice, but i think its probably because i feel the money is better spent somewhere else or should have been saved. I just bought a laptop recently for an awesome price 850 but i still havent been able to bring myself to open the box and use it...i feel like its too expensive. I dunno...i guess its the way i was raised.
  6. do you mean guilt just for buying yourself stuff? or guilt in general? i don't feel guilty for buying myself stuff, but that's probably because i haven't bought anything recently... too poor! :p
  7. I do that. I just decided to buy a Porsche. I sort of feel guilty about it, like I've done something bad. I'm 35 years old and I should be able to buy whatever I want, but I still sometimes feel like a little kid whose parents are going to make me feel ashamed for doing things they don't approve of.
  8. I don't feel guilty because I think I deserve it since all I ever do is work, either in school or at the place that pays me.

    People at work always give me crap for buying expensive things and even put ME down too. They've told me the most rudest things like, "I bet that wallet is more expensive than the money you have inside." These coworkers are also 'friends' of mine in a sense since we have known each other for long time now. I used to always void out their nagging and ignore them or justify my purchases with valid arguments. Nowadays, I don't justify anything. It's my money. I do as I wish. A simple, "what's it to you?" should shut them up.

    I recommend you give the same treatment to those who are giving you crap for buying what you like. I think they may have an influence on your guilt.
  9. Totally agree. This is exactly how i feel! I also feel guilty when other people buy me nice things - I find it hard to accept gifts without reciprocating. Sometimes I think I over reciprocate, but that's another story LOL
  10. sheesh - what idiots! I just adore how people feel like they can make these kinds of comments shamelessly... NOT
  11. Nope- all my bags have been paid for 100% by me so I feel no guilt over spending money that I've earned. I do have some nice shoes that were gifts but I've never felt guilty about them either- guess I'm just not the guilt-ridden type! If someone wants to buy me something nice it actually makes me feel happy beacuse a. I get a great item and b. the giver thinks I'm worth the expense, which always makes me feel good.
  12. Never, but sometimes i look at my stuff or think about it and get sad or melancholic. Not really guilty, I think I'm guiltless, but just depressed.
  13. I've had that guilt feeling before. One person in particular used to be hyper-critical of every single little thing I did. She made it clear she didn't feel I deserved to have nice things if she, herself could not have them. And she assumed I bought my things with DH's money. At first I ignored it but inside I started to feel terribly guilty. One day I just flat out told her that it's my money and I can do whatever the hell I want with it. That pretty much shut her up instantly. Haha.

    But I noticed since then I dress down a lot and I have a ton of brand new things sitting in my closet in boxes for months. I used to rock my stuff without a second thought. Now I feel like wow that's a lot of money to spend on a bag!

    Sorry this is rambling but I just remembered something else. My friend was nice enough to help me move recently. When we were packing up my closet she saw some Chanel boxes that still had the prices on them and she kind of looked at me and said, "Wow, we don't live in the same world." I felt really guilty and immediately launched into how I buy stuff on sale and shop at Target all the time. But she could plainly see all the excess. I felt bad about that.

  14. I agree.
  15. I think, from time to time, most of the women I know get that.

    But we all place our priorities differently. Some might get a little huffy over an expensive bag I carry, maybe even get rude enough to say something about it, but then, they might spend their money in ways that don't make as much sense to me. Say, hundreds, even thousands on Christmas lights for the exterior of their home. Every year. Which is fine... I don't pass judgement, but I do expect that courtesy to be returned.

    As far as internally feeling bad, I try to get over that. I take care of my family, and put in good work for the betterment of my community. I volunteer for charities, and worked in the non-profit sector (you do get paid, just not very much!) for years.

    Aside from that, my DH and family have their hobbies and habbits, and no matter how I feel about them, as long as they are constructive (read: nobody gets hurt) I am very supportive. And in turn, they are supportive back!

    I did grow up very modestly, so I would never, ever put anything in anyone's face, or be boastful. I know what it feels like not to have. So now, half a lifetime later, I enjoy my little rewards and don't need others to be envious to enjoy them. I've seen coworkers flaunting their new items, and getting compliments to their face, then nasty talk as soon as they leave. Not me. I'm too private. I'll get excited at home, on TPF!!